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DEL REY STRUGGLES THROUGH FIRE. VOWS TO RE-BUILD.
San Jose, Costa Rica (Reuters)
[b]As the ongoing cleanup continued of the historic Hotel Del Rey, destroyed by fire on April, 1, 2005, life in the Barrio Amon barrio continues on, though altered by the events of April 1, 2005.
The Fire, for which arson has not been ruled out as a cause, is still under investigation. The fire which could be seen for kilometers, destroyed the historic hotel, and caused severe damage to adjacent buildings and structures. Despite the intensity of the fire, lack of trained firemen, lack of water pressure and chaos, nobody was killed in this incident, however 79 people were injured, with 13 of them still hospitalized with various injuries. The injuries were mainly groin burns, deep gashes, bruises and broken bones. Two of the victims are still hospitalized at the Clinica Biblioteca with Cardiac related illnesses, brought on by this trauma.
[Ricardo Cabeza ( Batallion Captain-Engine #3 San Jose), was quoted as saying " It is very fortunate that we had no fatalities in this fire. Cabeza also informed this writer that of the 79 injuries, only nine were sustained by women. " The Women in the Hotel, knew where every Elevator, Ladder and Stairwell were located, thus expediting their escape". Cabeza followed up these words with " It seems like these women treated the Del Rey as a second home". many of the injured victims were Americans, whom became disoriented and confused. Other sources indicate that many of these men, were intoxicated. When pressed for more details, Cabeza was quoted as saying " Anything is Possible".
Other un-named sources stated that an un-named Arson Investigator told them that there was a very high content of chemical residue throughout the burnt ruins of the hotel. Further testing by arson investigators indicated that much of the residue tested positive for "certain human sexual products manufactured by Dow Corning and Carter Wallace Inc. Spokemen for both companies, declined comment.
The blaze, which caused an estimated $ 25,000,000 USD in damages and essentially closed down the entire block of businesses, has had a lingering effect on many of the local citizens.
Viasney Cordoba Mena, ( Presidente de la union # 666, de las prostitutas de San Jose), put it this way to this reporter. " This is a hardship for us ladies, for our second home has been destroyed, our headquarters is gone. We must ban together like our sisters in Tijuana,Sosua and Bogota". When asked where the union would set up shop now, Cordoba Mena hinted that " We may have to invade the Marriott and set up shop there, thus we will have to raise our rates, because of the long exhausting cabfare home, after our nightly duties are terminated". Demaris Mena, sister of the union leader added this comment, " We now are going to have to solicit our Platinum member clientes to send our foundation money, via Western Union, to offset the new inflated Taxi fares".
Other were not so sympathetic to Cordoba Mena and her co-workers. Vera Immakunt, spokesperson for embattled U.S. Congressman Tom DeLay ( R-Texas), indicated that DeLay may initiate legislative restrictions on Americans traveling to Costa Rica. According to Immakunt, " The congressman is going to introduce a bill, denouncing the Hotel Del Rey, and wants to conviene a surprise emergency session of Congress, during the Memorial Day weekend recess." The writer has learned that DeLay's bill would revoke the passports of American Males found to have engaged in Immoral and Unethical behavior in the Hotel Del Rey. Democrats led by Barney Frank ( D- Mass), will more than likely put up a large fight to defeat this bill. Immakunt also was quoted as saying, " We must take the temptation away from these men and find them good robust church going women. These men do not deserve freedom of choice and must obey the bible, as interpreted by congress".
One past visitor to the Del Rey was outraged upon hearing Immakunt's comments. " What gives that asshole DeLay and the rest of these right- wing nazi's the right to legislate human behavior", said an angry Timiteo Regulator". Regulator a native of Pinellas Park, Florida vowed to fight DeLay all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, if necessary. Regulator had sought legal council from Johnnie Cochran, the prominent defense attorney, whom sucessfully obtained an acquittal in the world famous O.J. Simpson case, but now Regulator is shopping for another attorney, since the demise of Cochran, last week. " With legal help or no legal help, I am still going to kick DeLay's ass in court." vowed a defiant Regulator.
The U.S. Embassy in Pavas, San Jose, Costa Rica, declined comment at this time.
Developing..................................
Filed By: R.C. Collins ( Reuters).....Please note: The Author disclaims that this a parody. A parody like one that you would see in Hustler Magazine about Jerry Falwell, on the page right next to the "ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH", for which many of us, included myself could be nominated. [/b]
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" Lo Siento pero mi no pagar cien dolares por medio hora de malo sexo, preguntar del gordo hombre con la camisa Miami Hurricanes, El Pagar Dos cientos dolares Y llegar addicional dinero para taxi.
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