www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Prolijo...my observations have been that the young, attractive, educated women in Latin America are NOT looking for serious relationships with OLDER gringos. They might go for a gringo within a few years of their own age...but most are looking for "attraction" as much as we men are. Why should they not have someone their own age if they dont need financial support or have a "daddy" complex? This is totally normal and acceptable. The problem is I see some older gringos come down here who think EVERY hot Latina is available to them or P4P. The good thing is that regular Latinas have very good manners and are good natured enough to reply to flirtation, even from older guys like me. The bad thing is that many gringos don't understand where the line is and too often become the "ugly" gringo. Hell, even the Putas demand a certain amount of respect. What do you think the rich Latinas think about our sometimes bad manners or undesired "come ons"?

The reason we have opportunity with classy, mature Latinas is because gringos tend to be more gentleman like and not as macho as the typical Latin male. They may even like that a gringo can "take care of them" or show them a good time at expensive joints...but dont ever suggest you are buying their time or affection. They will drop you like a fly. If a lady down here is all about the money with you...even if they arent P4P...they are still another form of "Puta". But then again, that goes for gold digging gringas as well...

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

Thank you for the thoughtful response, Prolijo. I'd like to address a couple points you made. I have shortened your quoted portion to that which I feel is applicable:


Let me clarify: I live in San Jose and we are together practically 24/7/365. I am her "best friend" by her admission. To me, "long term" means we are shooting for forever. I am just too cynical to put a lot of faith in how long "forever" is. We both acknowledge how important good honest communications are and spend a lot of time making sure that we are on the same page. Our relationship is anything but "typical' but ti works for us and that is the important part. We don't try to fit a conventional mold as we are far too warped for that.



When I said that women are primarily attracted to security I was speaking of all women. It is written in their basic code in the same way that men are predisposed to seek the best specimen for replication. Her "working" or non-working status has nothing to do with it. All women seek a safe nest and men seek the best replicator. It is hard wired.

If physical attraction were her only draw, she would have been finely phucked and out the door likes too many of others. Instead, I found myself taking her night after night. She is intelligent, has a good sense of humor, has the keenest eye for social interaction and observation that I have ever seen and she happens to be great in bed (or we are off the same half-bubble, which makes it great). She is neither stingy nor self-centered and is completely devoted to fairness and "just" rewards. I gotta like that just for the rareness.

Finally, I don't recommend my path to the majority. Maintaining the relationship is a full time job and you better have your game face on. I absolutely enjoy it because she keeps me on my toes (and she is wearing ballet slippers to stay on hers).

In my opinion, the death knell for many "typical" relationships is our (men's) tendency to complacency in a relationship. Once we have "won" the girl, we want to lounge on the couch. She will have attention, one way or another so we either provide the attention on the front end or she will remind us on the back end.

Like I said, it ain't for everybody but it is also not impossible depending on what you want and what you are willing to give for it in terms of compromise.

As for the money issue, I provide what she needs (she never bothers me with frivolous requests). I have not paid her for sex for over five months yet I get all I want plus a whole lotta love. I have no complaints.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Thanks, Tman. I wasn't really questioning that in the sense that I didn't already know the answer. I was questioning it in the sense that I thought your previous post might be misread by some gringos around here if they conveniently overlook the MATURE. You started out by stating that, if one is seeking a successful LONG term relationship with a chica your odds improve if the chica comes from backgrounds that are more similar to their own (educationally, cultural, socioeconomically). You correctly pointed out that there are SOME chicas who fall into that category. What you didn't emphasize (until now) is that, UNLIKE POOR UNEDUCATED chicas, the wealthier better educated YOUNG chicas do not fall all over themselves to go out with old gringos the way their poorer cousins do. And THAT is the important point. Most guys prefer the younger chicas for their sexual appeal and they can't really have it both ways. Whether it is with a P4P gal or a sweet innocent non-pro, and whether they'll admit it or not, most gringos are drawn to the chicas for their youthful beauty as much as anything else and that quality declines with age. If that really weren't so, then you'd see a lot more middle-aged women in the BM, but you don't. Your advice might be very good, but unfortunately it doesn't really apply to most guys unless they're prepared to radically change what they're looking for.

While I'm sure there may be strong elements of affection in there along with everything else, I stongly suspect that the vast majority of these gringo-chica "Novio/Novia" relationships are based mostly on sex and money, mostly sex for the gringo on his side and mostly money for the chica on her side. To really be honest with themselves, they would need to ask themselves if they weren't getting any sex or the chica lost her physical appeal if they'd still be the same sort of friends, and I'm guessing not. So while it certainly has more of the trappings of a real GFE (with only 1 F) is it is still at its core just another form of P4P. And THAT is NOT a stong basis for a successful LONG term relationship.

Pac,
So your relationship really is a full-time one. IMHO, five months is not a real short term relationship but it is not exactly a long term one yet either. Come back and report on it in another 5 months and maybe I'll have a different opinion. Your relationship may also not be typical. Maybe it will last another 5 months or even 5 years. However, the overwhelming track record for older gringo/ much younger chica novia is not very encouraging particular once it turns into a real fulltime relationship as opposed to just living together or visiting with each other during regular but periodic visits to CR. Most don't last more than a few months, some may last a year or more but the overall numbers decline very rapidly relatively close to the beginning and taper off after that to very few lasting anything more than a few years. I sincerely hope that you and your novia buck those odds.

As for the security issue, sure all women want security. The difference is that better educated women from higher socio-economic classes can either provide a lot of that for themselves or attract successful young men closer to their age and with more common generational and cultural backgrounds who can provide it just as well. It becomes a lot more important part of the equation for women with fewer choices who'd be living in squalor any way else.

You say you have not paid your chica for sex in five months, but that doesn't mean that money is not a big part of the equation for her. You support her financially by putting a roof over head (probably a much nicer roof than she could ever afford on her own) and paying for her every need. She doesn't ask for much from your perspective, which is good for you, but don't fool yourself that what you provide is not a critical part of your attractiveness to her. And she takes care of all your sexual needs. If you took either of those things away from either side, how much longer do you think you'd really be such close friends?

Call me cynical. I'll grant you that such arrangements can be great fun or even interesting challenges as long as they play out favorably. So go ahead and enjoy it while it lasts. Even hope that it will last forever. However, I see a day in the not so distant future where something will happen to derail what you've got going. Perhaps, she'll try to nail you down for that longer term security. Maybe she'll want to have a Ch*ld with you. Maybe she'll grow too jealous of the other women you continue to see. Maybe SHE'LL be the one who grows complacent and starts taking some of your needs for granted. Maybe she'll stop taking care of herself now that she's "locked in" and start growing those rice n' beans thighs that so many middle-aged latin women get. If your relationship were not so heavily based on the sex that you get, that last one might not matter so much.

Pro, I agree that my ability to provide a good nest is essential to her, as it is with the vast majority of relationships no matter the status of the participants. Of course I would be much less attractive if I were broke. Same as with any other woman.

I also agree that she may make demands, etc. That is part of the deal. They will always test the boundaries. It is one way that the ensure that the man they have chosen is a champ, not a chump. Yes, they make requests hoping we will have the balls to say "No!". Men are constantly trying to please women by being compliant only to find their "generosity" is returned with disrespect. They want a MAN, not a nurturing chump.

Your point that she may become complacent is also a good one. It is my job to ensure that this does not happen. She knows what is and is not acceptable to me and she knows I am the hefe. I hate to lay the pimp hand down but the back of the hand is as important as the front in a relationship (and I mean that figuratively, of course. I would never raise a hand to her).

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Pac,
I hope you realize that it was not my intent to rain on your parade. The ultimate jury may still be out on the ultimate success of your "adventure" but it sounds that you at least have a very grounded approach and expectations about it and that may serve you well in your attempts to buck the odds.

As to your comment about complacency being the death knell for many relationships, maybe by "typical" you meant the type we're more used to back in the US, but when it comes to typical "gringo/chica" relationships I think what you alluded to in your latest post is the more important death knell. That is the gringo tendency to let themselves become too much of a "doormat" which is a result of being exposed to years of US style womens lib and its often confusing demands. Gringas all say they want Mr. Sensitivity while at the same time being attracted to Bad Boys. In many respects, chicas want the exact opposites. In Latin cultures, they've seen far less of that type of "liberation" and men are still expected to be the ones who take charge, something that goes hand in hand with their continuing to be seen as the expected breadwinners.

I think TMan is right that "The reason we have opportunity with classy, mature Latinas is because gringos tend to be more gentleman like and not as macho as the typical Latin male." While at the same time other aspects of the typical gringo approach to relationship can come off to them as too Namby-Pamby. So its a rine line we have to walk and, in their own way, Gringo/Chica relationships present their own set of contradictory demands (e.g. assertive but respectful) just as the Gringo/Gringa ones we all grew up with present theirs.

After nearly five years since my divorce, I tied the knot in Key West yesterday. I honestly never thought I would remain single five years, so it was not a big surprise to me I would marry this girl. I had enough time to sift through some of the finest pro, semi-pro, and civilian ass in CR, Colombia, and Brazil, and I got the fotos to back it up. For me that wasn't a life, but a diversion. I don't disparage those who find it fulfilling as a full-time lifestyle because I understand it. I lived it myself and know the strong points.

It's very personal, and that's the very bottom line. For me I needed to bring a Brazilian girl to the States because I plan to work here for a while yet. There were always contenders along the way, especially the last couple of years. But finding a girl with all the qualities I wanted took time. Mary is petite, smart, caring, and was never married or had K*ds. We spent the last 15 months getting to know each other and I lived with her for 3 months in Brazil before she lived with me in Miami these past 3 months. She's 34 which is a good age for me and she never married or had K*ds. Importantly, she never considered selling sex, though she certainly knows about the whole Brazilian phenom. She also knows everything I did, that I'm a dog at heart, but that I was also with one woman for over 20 years before. She knows I'm not entirely relinquishing my options to travel and sport phuck, but I did agree never to use our apartment, which was easy for me. Frankly, the whole issue is the equivalent of a pimple on my ass at this point.

So there you have it. Six months of planning, filling out paperwork, going through the interview process (which was a nail biter), and now she's going to meet some of my family at T-giving. Going to work and especially returning, is a new and welcomed experience. It's a challenge, make no mistake, but given anyone can get hit by a truck at any moment, I'm not thinking of failure. As one matures, one realizes how precious life is. And at my age, to have a girl this fresh and optimistic and most importantly, appreciative...well, I have to thank the angels.

If anyone wants more info on the whole process, PM me.

I'll be around.

Jazz

_________________
"Don't never trust a woman, till she's dead and deep....One day she'll say she loves you, next day she'll throw you on the street."

"...and if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all. I certainly wouldn't..."

Brother JM--I'm sure I join a lot of other Brothers in wishing the heartiest congratulations, and also in wishing we'd been there to give you a proper send-off. Nice to have a good partner to make sweet music with (she does play an instrument, right?)>>>JazzboCR

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

Pac you should listen to Prolijo, you could learn a lot. "Doormat" is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of you. You really need to work on that ....

I mean seriously, you need to just give up that "sensitivity" thing. It is really not working for you. Try being a little more macho and the Ticas will give you more respect.\

Phantom,
I hate to disagree with you, but "doormat" is about the last word that I'd use to describe Pac55. YMMV.

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You ALWAYS have an option ....... "NEXT" !!!

Good for you Jazz Musician. Cant fault a guy for settling down with a 34 year old Brasilean.... Good luck and enjoy..

Pac is just way too sensitive and he opens himself to have these women walk all over him. He needs to toughen up a little bit. Be a little bit more manly is my recommendation, more like Proligo. NOW THAT is a real man!!!!

Now that I think about it, MG you would be well served as well if you were a little more manly too........ more like Proligo.

Just to be clear, when I spoke of the gringo tendency to let themselves become too much of a "doormat" I was speaking in general terms. I don't believe I've ever met Pac55 and so could not say how well that applies to him but I'm prepared to accept MG's defense of Pac that it doesn't. For that matter, I haven't ever met Phantom either and so am not sure how I impressed him so much with my manliness. The truth is, and I'm not too ashamed to admit it, even I've had my "doormat" moments. Denying one's cultural upbringing is much easier said than done, and our culture in the US includes 40+ years of women's lib brainwashing. So do as I say and not as I sometimes do.

BTW, Fandom, I appreciate your vote of approval but I'd have appreciated it more if you spelled my name right.

Phantom...you are crackin' me up, dewd! The last thing I am is overly sensitive. I am proudly an Alpha Male and she knows it.

What Pro said is spot on: It is a tightrope we walk balancing between caring and protecting our own best interests. "Nurturing" is for women. We provide and protect but we do not nurture. I am not the least hesitant to "lay the pimp hand down", figuratively of course, when she does something that is unacceptable. I may be on a tightrope but I am not alone on it!

"Success" is such a subjective and liquid term. To me, success is one day at a time and there is no "failure" because I have no preconceived "outcome" that must be met. We enjoy each others company today and that is what matters. As I have told her daily, this is a voluntary joining and it will remain voluntary. If either of us feels that it is not worth the trouble, we move on. We are together because we want to be.

Disclaimer: This ain't for everybody. Taking on a chica half my age who is smart as a whip and observant as hell is a supreme challenge. Start without complete honesty and she will find you out in a minute. She may forgive infidelity but she will never forgive lying to her (make note of that, guys, it is universal as far as I can tell...). If your "game" is not honed or if you are at all unsure of yourself she will sense it as weakness and lose respect quickly. "No" is probably the most important word in your vocabulary. If you can't tell her "no" with a smile and mean it, she will own you. If you have never been a "success" with women this is not the way to learn!

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Alpha Male / Shmafa Male. Bla Bla Bla ........ PROLIGO is the MAN!!!!

MG is a pu*sy too ....... LOL