Zippy wrote:
how they perform can be like night & day depending on their respect they have for you as a good guy
You're still not hearing what I'm saying. What you just said is ABSOLUTELY true. But what I just said is a girl that you decide isn't going to be worth the deal you just made and therefore decide to back out on isn't going to be performing with you ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. She's not going to be performing for you AT ALL both now and most likely never in the future. And even if she did, in cases like these, you backed out because you felt you had good reason to think she WASN"T GOING TO perform well ANYWAY even BEFORE you backed out on her. Finally while I don't think just sneaking away and leaving her hanging at the bar is a noble way to deal with this situation either, how does it build respect for you if you treat her overly extravagantly by tico standards? Couldn't you argue that will just make her see you as a sap that can easily be taken advantage, if you ever did try to make a deal with her in the future? "I'll act all hot and interested and agree to 25K again and then pull my pouting act and hope he just gives me a lot of walking money again." Isn't it best to just deal with this honestly and respectfully, but FIRMLY by saying something like "I'm sorry, but I think I've just made a mistake and have changed my mind and thought it better we both just forgot about this before we both got too far into it. Thanks anyway" or even like Bob suggested "You know on further reflection I don't think this was such a good idea after all, let me buy you a drink for all your troubles and lets just leave it at that." (assuming she hasn't already been hitting you up for top-shelf premium drinks all evening).
I'm sorry. I can appreciate different approaches or baiting one's hook differently, but I can't appreciate what I consider to be illogical arguments. I can't appreciate the point of trying to impress a chica with your honor when she is ALREADY showing a clear lack of respect for you. Feigning interest in you is expected and understandable but dropping that act the second she thinks she has her hooks set into you and before even delivers what you thought you'd be getting is not and shows a clear disrespect of us as gringos. Bending over backwards to be honorable to such a chica is like throwing gasoline on the flames. It doesn't breed respect. It just further erodes it. And in any event it is completely pointless since, if you were smart, you'd be steering well clear of those types.
As for the larger audience of chicas, How is this any different then when a chica tells all her friends that we're cheapskates because we don't want to pay cien or otherwise fail to agree to something that they feel they're entitled to? They're going to talk and say whatever they want. If a chica asks you about it you can explain it to her from your side and let that be a lesson to them. If they treat us right, we can be the nicest guys in the world. If they treat us like saps, they shouldn't count on anything. Respect has to go both ways. If she doesn't mention what she heard, you can still show what sort of man you really are by your actions towards her. The better chicas are going to be able to judge for themselves what type of guy you are when you spend a little time with them.
I can appreciate that different guys have different compensation levels that they feel is appropriate in different situations. But I also think there is a reasonable range and that some amounts are clearly excessive (In much the same way that some vets manage to pay $40 while others pay $60 but nearly all vets agree that cien is too much). I can appreciate showing some respect for women that though they're basically hookers are still human beings too. But I also think there comes a point where some of them lose their claim to respectability, such as when we catch them trying to scam us with outright lies in a RFM (or when they act like our novias right up to the second they think they have us hooked for our dough). I think for many of the guys around here their wimpy preconditioning by gringas rules the day and think that being respectful means being overly deferential and subservient. These aren't gringas. What LATINAS respect most, and many gringas secretly too, is a guy that they CAN'T wrap around their finger, though they'll still try. A guy who is strong and can take charge. One can be respectful yet also still be firm. Don't be a sucker and don't put up with any shit.
BTW, where the Phuck is Tim Bones when you need him? C'mon, Tim, please chime in here.