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A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition,
he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew
you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight
Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not
only the passion...
Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer
in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a
dream of having many more Ch*ldren. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and
trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy
we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She
sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love, your son, John.
P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted
to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in
my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home."
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_________________  Pura Vida Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. Alex Levine 
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