Why the Donald gets all the girls
The new Mrs. Trump may very well have been attracted by all the money. So what?
By Dan Savage
Why do beautiful women keep marrying Donald Trump?
Most people -- at least most people who aren’t billionaires or supermodels -- will answer that question with an insult directed at the latest Mrs. Trump. It’s an insult that probably can’t be printed on this Web site, but it rhymes with “Because she’s a bore.â€
We know why rich men marry beautiful women: for the sex, naturally enough, maybe even the love, as well as the companionship and perhaps the social status that marriage confers on a companion. (Grown men, particularly wealthy ones, can have mistresses, but there's something childish about a billionaire with a girlfriend.)
No one cuts women who marry rich men the same slack. We refuse to believe they honestly find these men attractive -- after all, the men they’re marrying are usually decades older, and long past their looks-good-naked-in-the-daylight expiration date. Models and actresses who marry obscenely wealthy men, everyone agrees, must be interested in the money alone, and the power and the status it brings. They get through the sex by gritting their teeth or thinking of other, more pleasant things. (Like, say, their new credit limits.)
Maybe I’m filled with the milk of human kindness, or perhaps I have a soft spot for supermodels -- I’m a gay man, so I have at least one soft spot for supermodels -- but I actually believe that it’s possible for a beautiful, young woman to fall in love with an obscenely wealthy older man.
Come for the money, stay for the love
Women are sex objects, the old saying goes, and men are success objects. Women, fairly or unfairly, are judged on their looks, and men, fairly or unfairly, are judged on their money, their power and their status. If Mr. Donald Trump were a dishwasher, it's a safe bet that supermodels would not clamor for the opportunity to be the next Mrs. Trump. But The Donald is rich (although how rich is in dispute), and he’s famous, and he is powerful. That makes him more appealing than a dishwasher of similar age and build and comb-over.
Is this latest Mrs. Trump in it for the money? Will the next Mrs. Trump be in it for the money? Yes and yes -- and you know what? That's OK. And you know what else? That fact doesn't preclude the possibility that Mrs. Trump is also in love with Mr. Trump
But can a woman fall in love -- truly, deeply in love -- if she was initially attracted to a man for his money? To show how ridiculous that question is, let me alter it just a bit: Can someone fall in love -- really in love -- if he was initially attracted to a woman for her legs? No one doubts the answer to the second question is yes. A physical attraction can bring two people together and, if the pair is compatible, lead to a lasting love.
It’s our problem, not Mrs. Trump’s
Insisting that it's simply not possible for a woman to really love a man whose wealth caught her eye is very deeply sexist. Our culture celebrates romantic love and equates physical desirability with sexual prowess and romantic self-worth. This is a male-centric view, an elevation of the surface beauty over other qualities. But it's male-ish to say that only the size of a man's pecs or the shape of woman's rear end can inspire a genuine attraction, whereas obscene wealth always and everywhere inspires only money-grubbing gold-digging.
Yes, yes: Wealth can inspire money-grubbing gold-digging, but that's not always the case. Determining whether someone who was initially attracted to you for whatever reason -- because you’ve spent the last three years in the gym doing crunches, or because you’re Ronald Perelman -- sincerely loves you requires emotional insight, the advice of good friends, and a good pre-nup lawyer.
So let's say a beautiful young woman of modest means falls in love with a rich and powerful older man. Will the love last? Maybe, maybe not. There have been many Mrs. Trumps, and Ronald Perelman is soon to be single again. People fall out of love for all sorts of reasons (Slideshow: Billionaire divorces); whether it was wealth or looks that brought two people together, there's no guarantee that it will last. Wealth, however, does have one thing over looks: beauty fades, interest accrues. This works in billionaires' favor, but not, alas, in the supermodels.
But it is possible that this Mrs. Trump really loves Mr. Trump -- and heck, it’s even possible that she may be the last Mrs. Trump.
Dan Savage is the author of "Savage Love," an internationally syndicated sex-advice column read by millions every week. Savage is the author of "Savage Love, "a collection of his advice columns, and "The K*D," an award-winning memoir about adoption
Zippy says play your Donald trump card that we have in CR & enjoy the fantasy because this is what it is, at least among the P-lady crowd.
_________________ "Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!
Last edited by Zippy on Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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