www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I was fortunate enough to win Post of the Month in July, and my prize was a two-night stay in one of the Hotel Presidente’s new spa suites. The suite I enjoyed, number 307 is located in the new section, and is spacious, spotlessly clean and as cold as a meat locker when both air conditioners are running.

First of all, let me say that the staff at the Presidente is excellent, and I never wanted for service. From Jonathan and William at the front desk at check-in to Jesus who helped with my baggage upon checkout, everyone at the Presidente treated me very well. I have plans to marry Andrea at the News Café (don’t tell her yet, it’s going to be a surprise).

Everything in the suite worked perfectly, from the keypad-locked security box to the televisions (two of them) and the hair dryer. The glass-enclosed spa is wonderful for lounging; one can even watch the sitting room TV from a vantage point in the spa tub.

The single-glazed windows open, allowing fresh smog and street noise to enter the room, a real plus for a city boy such as I.

What didn’t I like? The lighting is horrific. Recessed fluorescent fixtures yield plenty of cold, greenish light. The color scheme of the paintede walls and furnishings would be fine, but under the extremely harsh fluorescent lighting, the gold painted wall turns a sickly mustard, the sage-green sofa plastic leatherette turns a snot green. Also, this hotel is noisier than my old college dormitory; thank the tiled floors. The effect of the lighting, hard surfaces and reflected noise makes sitting in the otherwise comfortable sitting area of the suite a lot like sitting in a nicely-appointed garage. The least they could have done is to put diffusers over the fluorescent lights.

The bedroom is slightly warmer, as the bed softens the ambience quite a lot. The bed is perhaps the best hotel bed upon which I’ve ever slept. The European linens are luxurious!

The bathroom is large, but is strangely laid out, due to the spa tub. One fun side-effect of the design is that your chica will have the pleasure of watching you take a dump, looking from the living room through the glass walls surrounding the tub. Now that’s erotic. Also, do not attempt to enter or leave the spa tub while drunk. The tiles become dangerously slippery with even a small amount of water. We found it easier and safer to sit on the top step, pivot and enter the tub gingerly. A tub design like this would violate every building code in the U.S.; it’s just plain hazardous.

Would I stay again in the Presidente? Absolutely, particularly if I could replace the nasty fluorescent lighting with low-watt halogen PAR bulbs, could bring a half-dozen throw rugs to soften the floor and dampen sound, and could attach safety strips to the steps leading to the spa. I would also need earplugs.

One would think from reading this that I don’t like the Presidente; the opposite is true! Service, facilities and comfort are unmatched by any other Gulch hotel, and there is something to be said about the newness of the facilities. I only wish that they had done something to soften the sound and lighting in this otherwise excellent suite. Also, some decoration beyond the single metal sculpture on the wall would be welcome.

Grades:

Facilities: B plus

Service: A

Provided goodies (bathroom, chocolates at night,ice, etc.): B plus

Comfort level: C (nasty lighting, noisy, hard surfaces, but great bed)

Overall = B/B-plus

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.

Welcome back, El Ciego!!

underdog

I was wondering what happened to you, glad to see your back.
Muhahaha

dude...I plan on going on a really low rent, shower/gutter crawl next trip...want to come along...?....hahahaha...we love you dude...."Assholelito Juancito"

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

The clipityclop (sp) of high heels walking on the tiles in the hallways at all hours of the night makes me feel right at home. No doubt the Presidente is noisy but it is my home away from home.

El Ciego-- Wlecome back to the land of the living (and miserable!). So the lighting bothered you, eh?...

So when are we meeting up in paradise again??


Ruffnutz

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EVERYONE'S A ROCK STAR IN C.R.!!
"Just when I thought I was out... They pull me back in." -- Ruffnutz on trying to quit CRT

Yes guys, I'm back. After the Anniversary Party (what a great time!), I met up with wing-lady for some serious tourism, and just returned to the States late Tuesday 9/20.

Yeah, Ruff...the lights bothered me. I can still see light/shadow. The comments regarding color were actually made by wing-lady.

Hank mentioned the click of high heels. It was funny. Whoever was staying in 407 above us had a female visitor; we heard the heels on the tile, and so I set my talking stopwatch. To our amusement, the heels were stepping toward the elevator after precisely 59 minutes. Tico time my ass.

As to whether or not we'll meet again in Paradise...anyone's guess. As part of the 82% unemployed blind, my chances are slim for a return anytime soon. But one can hope.

Great to meet all of you! Muhahaha, welcome to the board, you freakin' newbie! Zap!

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.

Talking stopwatch ??? 59 minutes ???? ....... PRICELESS !!!!

El Ciego, You got me lauging my ass off with that one! You're truly one-of-a-kind!

Welcome back to the real (miserable) ph*ckin' world!

BTW...great trip report!

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You ALWAYS have an option ....... "NEXT" !!!

stayed in aud great place highly recommend it,didnt sleep so heels didnt bother me...love the a/c..stucknusa

Hey Stuckin USA,

I agree that the physical plant of the Presidente seems to work really well. I failed to comment on the wireless Internet, which worked flawlessly the two nights I stayed there.

Yeah, the air conditioning works great too; I especially found it useful for generating pink noise to help mask the street/bar sounds drifting through the single-glazed windows. You see, believe it or not, after 22 days in Costa Rica, I actually hoped to sleep. Well, not a lot of sleep, but when you hit a wall...you hit a wall.
The refrigerator, TV's, spa tub, phone and lighting all worked flawlessly, but again...them damn lights!

Let me explain: My remaining vision is limited to light and dark, so when there are lights on, my vision is drawn to them. So yeah, Ruff, the lights bugged my eyes. Bad enough that they were all flickering flourescents, but the fact the hotel doesn't seem to understand the need for light diffusers, the lighting is as hard, bright and garish as one finds in a factory, garage or sports facility. Not relaxing, not welcoming, and not necessary. Presuming availability of low-wattage halogen bulbs in C.R., energy savings and more pleasing lighting could coexist. Enough about the freaking flourescent lighting.

The click of high heels was more humorous than irritating; otherwise, I never would have stopped screwing long enough to trigger the stopwatch.

So now I'm wondering; After my experiences at both the Presidente and the Sportsmen's Lodge, which master suite do I want for my 50th birthday celebration?

Gotta think on that...

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.

YO Ciego:

BITCH, bitch, bitch and more bitching. Had to stay in a nice suite with all new toys. It was too cold, awwwww. Hell, they stick old Circu in the luggage storage when I stay there. Damn, last time I was there I called the front desk for a menu to order food to my room.......they sent me a photo of the dumpster out back. Most residents get two white bags in the closet for their dirty laundry. Not me, I have to throw mine in the orange hazardous waste can out back.

At least you took time to train me on the white walking cane last trip. I'm searching on Ebay now for one so I can check into the Pres and get a decent room next time. Okay, I don't look young and handsome like you but at least they could give old pitiful me a break.

And BTW, I'm sorry for the noisey heels sounds in the hall......I'll tip toe next time.

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Damn if I'm going to repeat this shit again. I need a drink.
I've been drinking vodka every day for 45 years and I have certainly never found it to be habit forming.

Yo Circus

What is this upgrade you have been granted ? Luggage storage indeed. Nice change from the dumpster-- I think. Surely the advantage of having all that scrumptious grub right at hand would outweight the small benefit of moving to the luggage closet.

BTW did you send LVSteve the change from that 500col bill he sent you toward the SCTCR fund?

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Y.N.W.A.

YO Koppite:
Everybody picks on poor old me. Hell no, I did not return change. Even I have my pride. Geezzzz, Canadians are so macho and quick to jump on old gringos. But I still love ya.

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Damn if I'm going to repeat this shit again. I need a drink.
I've been drinking vodka every day for 45 years and I have certainly never found it to be habit forming.

how much for the room and do they charge to bring girls to the room. I heard they charge $10 per chica and $65 for the room per nite.

Thanks

As I understand it, the Pres doesn't have a chica fee, just one girl at a time. I think you are refering to the DR for the $10 fee.