www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Hello, Boinker here (a newbie to this board) with a topic for discussion: Your BS Radar. Just how strong is it? Has it ever failed you? We all think that we have a strong BS Radar and we probably do. You know what I mean - when the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention when you are asked to "pay up front" or when you hear "please send money", or "must go home now, Ch*ld is sick" etc. etc.. We have toughened ourselves up to the point that even a simple taxi ride becomes a closely watched excursion into the DMZ.

We are overly cautious, almost to point where everyone we meet is a liar and everything we encounter is a scam.

But lets admit to ourselves, sometimes it still happens: Your BS Radar Fails. I'll go first, and I will try to be brief. I had a GF in the Philippines. She was a non-pro with a legit office job in a city NOT known for mongering. We corresponded for a good while before I went to meet her. I spent 3 weeks with her and met her entire family. I spent quality time with her whole family. I did all the supposably right boyfriend-type things. Letters, small gifts, being nice to momma etc.. Madly in love. Yada, yada, yada. After I returned home, she fell off the map for two weeks. No emails, no phone calls. Well you know what comes next right? The dreaded phone call "Boinker, I am pregnant!". By whom I ask? Some other American named "Victim #321" she says. Oh really...I reply. The lies flowed and flowed and I still believe them. She tells me "Oh I got drunk and...then he took advantage...". And on it went. I admit it took about 3 weeks until I finally came to my senses.

For those that want to know, sure I wasted money on her (but that is not the point of this post). But trust me I got off cheap compared to what this could have turned into. She did me a favor by telling me she got pregnant by another man (which I have verified to in fact be true). So all in all I am lucky to be freed from the situation.

I finally walked away from the situation, but only after I realized that, in fact: My BS Radar Failed Me. I hate it when that happens!

Lessons Learned
Lesson #1: Some girls are tremendous actresses.
Lesson #2: Regardless of what I do, what nice things I do, what nice presents I give or what nice acts of kindness I display - none of this changes who the girl really is. (Meaning I cannot make a bad girl become good.)
Lesson #3: I am too trusting.
Lesson #4: It is entirely possible that every word that came out of this girl's mouth for the past year has been an absolute fabrication.
(Note - I have since learned that #4 is not too far from the truth. Heck she even made up elaborate stories just for the fun of it, to see how much crap I would believe.)

#4 above was the best lesson to learn of them all. Words are just words. Talk is cheap. Unless you see something with your own eyes, it may be completely bogus. Even then we must still be careful.

Lastly, another bright light went on:
If it was possible that I was so completely taken in by this girl, lie after lie after lie over this year-long affair, then surely it is possible that someone else could also lie just as boldly to me. Sure, it is easy to say "Be careful". But it is another to come to your senses while you are actually talking to someone whom you like and trust - to again discover "Yikes, it is happening again right now as we are speaking, every word that she is saying is 100% bogus". Beep, beep, beep. Put the truck into reverse quick! High-tail it out of there!

Thus I have added:
Lesson #5:Someone else will lie to me just as boldly.

This was not a one-time incident, so I need to watch out for the next situation because it will happen again if I am not much more careful!

To the board, I know my BS Radar failed me, and obviously I have only shared a very abbreviated version of this ridiculous and often-repeated tale. I am NOT asking for advice on where I went wrong (although I am sure some will feel obilged to offer it). I know where I went wrong: Darn near every step of the way!

What I would like to know is: Has Your BS Radar Ever Failed?
If so, what did you learn from it?
Now is the time to come clean!
Ticas? Girlfirends? Hotels? Tours? Taxis? Scams?

- All Boink'd Out

My BS alert failed a lot when I was younger, definitely. I like to think I am a lot wiser now, in my 50s, than I was in my 20s and 30s. This was in the USA, with 'regular' girls, not working girls.

Over the years I have found that generally the clues are always there and getting fooled is a matter of believing what I WANT rather than believing what IS.

I still get fooled, but it happens early and I get out before too much damage is done.

One attitude that keeps the BS away is the one I see often expressed here, the 'all women are liars and whores' type of thing. It's not MY attitude at all, but I see it here in this forum. I admit that if you believe that you will be quite immune to the BS factor. The problem is that you will also be immune to most of the non-sexual pleasure a woman can give a man. I feel that if all you want is an orifice to deposit sperm in, then why bother with humans at all? www.realdoll.com.

I try to navigate the middle ground between total cynic and total romantic. I have met nasty, conniving bitches in Costa Rica and I have also met some sweet, nice, generous ladies too, and many (most) who were somewhere between the two extremes. For those who aren't comfortable with shades of grey, perhaps it's best to be a cynic and a misogynist. You are safer emotionally and economically. Personally, I enjoy the game of separating the bullshit from the truth.

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"The only normal people are those you don't know very well." Joe Ancis

Boinker, welcome....

what can be more powerful to shut down the BS radar than that magic pu*sy, attached to a girl who otherwise pushes all the right buttons, says the right things, pulls the right strings of your heart...

A force to reckoned with, no doubt, even for the most cynical....
I almost got my ass kicked for allowing my BS radar to break down...

I had a girl from Panama come to my town, to come for english classes for 9 or 10 weeks... I was the lucky guy who she chose to date first, and until close to the end, I was the only one. I know this because outside of her classes, she was with me constantly. She was fine as hell, a true spinner, with almost no sexual experience, but a willing student. Not too far in to our time together, she began to profess her love for me. Not just I love you etc.... but stuff like... You are the only one on the earth for me, you are THE one, and if I can't be with you, the rest of my life will be a disappointment. Wow. she gave me her all, and she was so hot and sexy towards me, its enough to make a grown man cry. I was 34, she was 24. She was also a great girl in many other ways, absolutely adorable.
After years of being with an unappreciative, cruel, bitchy, overweight gringa, I was an easy target for her latina magic.
My BS radar should have already been going off, but honestly, I have heard this love stuff before. In fact, I would have been surprised NOT to hear it, since after all, I AM a sexy bitch.
I am thinking to myself, I already determined to go to Latin America to seek a suitable mate, here I have this little goddess eating from my hand, I should not let her go! Only a fool would let this girl go.
Problem is, she would either need a direct commitment from me, or she would have to go back to Panama after the schooling. So, commit to marrying her in less than 2 months, or lose her.
Well, I decided I could not make that call under that circumstance. Something just told me, it was not cool. These things can work, but there was an intangible red flag I could not ignore. Finally, I sadly had to break her heart, and send her on her way. Tore me up! I must be a fool, I think. But, though the heart may influence me, my brain must also have a say, and my brain could not line up.
With a heavy heart, I say goodbye, forever grateful to this little vixen, for giving herself to me, for the glorious sex, the sweetness. She cured me of many things still tormenting me from my marriage / divorce. I still am grateful, after all, she gave me the most erotic moments of my 35 years.
Her last week or two, she stopped coming around, and that was fair enough, after all, I rejected her. Shortly after her departure date, I get a call from the lady she had been living with. Lady says that one of the other students has spotted her, downtown with another guy. No doubt it was her, she says.
This girl was gringo hunting.

You can't blame her, I would do the same in her shoes. She is certainly not the first. But what will happen to that poor guy? will she "love him forever" genuinely?, or will she vanish after her SSN comes.....? Will she place demands that he send money to Panama family, or even ship them up here? Will she take half his stuff?
If I ever marry again, I do not want a gringo hunter. Their motives are not love. If I wanted a conniving bitch, I would have stayed with my ex.
Though my BS radar was MIA, somehow I dodged that bullet.
So few of us, though, are truly immune to their powers, and I don't know that I want to be immune, totally.
I think in the end, time tells all, and if I have to make a snap decision, it will always be no. If a guy falls in love, foreign girl or not, there is NO advantage to rush, for him. Everything tends to come out in the wash.
The heartbreak that comes occasionally, and the game of "spot the bullsh*t" is an interesting one, and keeps me playing....
VB still has a fair approach.... "fall in love with a new one everytime", and curing heartbreak with "go phuck 5 other girls real quick then see how you feel"
There is still a part of me that may take the plunge, especially for a certain Tica at this moment....hey, you only live once, right?

Those real dolls from the link on the last post are hilarious! If they could get one to say a few spanish phrases, I would get one and never leave the house. "fuerte, que rico"

Any single guy needs to do all he can to keep his BS radar at full tilt, knowing that right when we think we are invincible, it is then that we are at our weakest, because we drop our vigilant focus....

Funny post! Welcome Boinker! Anyone else got a story?

-KS

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check yourself before you wreck yourself

Well said. Excellent post. I enjoy seeing the "quality" of posts continuing to increase. Of course, just MHO.

dapanz1

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Paradise= Sitting outside the Bodega in Panama City about 1 am. Drinking cool Balboas with cool friends and blazin' hot Colombianas. I want to be there..RIGHT NOW!

King Solomon,

I too fell for the spell of a Cubanitha in the "glorious Havana".

The point is, they want to emigrate. Chances are, she could be faithful to me.

Some Latinas are like that. They will stay faithful to you even if their intention is to get out of dodge. I dint want to take a chance at rolling the dice. Some people did and ended up having a lifetime of "hot guilt free sex"

Se la vi....such is life.

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pablitho53

UT OH! My BS radar completely failed me 2 years ago.

I met the bitch on the internet and she was already married to a much older guy. She was 24 and I was 41 and her husband was older than me. She told me that she didn't love him and that he was oppressive - she was with him so her daughter was cared for. She didn't work because he wouldn't let her (oh yeah! - radar fail on this one big time). Eventually, he allowed her to come live with me (really) - oh my God this is embarrassing. (This girl was never an official working girl - she gave it up for support but never sold herself to my knowledge.)

After arriving in my house, she is free to work, she could conquer the world like he wouldn't "let" her so I said GO AT IT BABY!!! Freedom at last, because I had no problem with her getting a job. Suddenly, her burning desire to conquer the world faded. Suddenly she described herself as a latin girl who's cultural dictates that a man is the bread winner and that working is just not acceptable. She eventually said that it was embarrassing to work.

After realizing that I wanted her to work - I wanted her to follow through on what she said she wanted to do. After about 3 months, she realized that sitting around the house wasn't an option so she wanted to return to her old life. Freedom isn't so important anymore if it requires working. Luckily, he took her back and yes GOD WAS WITH ME because she didn't get pregnant. Sending her back.... it took one big argument at 10PM, I called Southwest to schedule a 6AM flight and then a van ride and she was heading back to Texas (yes, Texas!).

The sex was good so I tried to make the best of it plus I hadn't been introduced to CR yet so 24 in the USA was great.

She could lie so well. But, she didn't have to lie to an extreme. Her M.O. was to get me to feel sorry for her so she told about the Ch*ld abuse that happened to her and about the verbally abusive and oppressive husband and about the poor childhood (she is from Belize) and the father that drank too much. Some of it, maybe true, some of it total lies. Her husband was a little oppressive and verbally abusive, but girls without any self respect are able to handle this. If you respect them, they won't respect you, respecting them is their opportunity to screw you over in a big way.

Now that she is gone I can see so much better.

She went back to Texas, we talked on the phone after she went back. Of course there was talk of getting back together (still couldn't see quite so clearly yet... she was 24!). She told me how much she missed me, how much she loved me, how no one else could possibly give her better sex, how she was going to remain without sex for a long long long time to come (she said years).

We talked then stopped talking then started again - after starting again at one point she told me that she put a personal ad on the internet and went out with a guy! FINALLY, I can really see. What happen to years without sex? What, you fell out of love in just 2 months? You miss me so much, you want to replace me? Okay!

My opinion of working girls is that it isn't a good idea to have one as a novia - no way jose! Any girl that has the guts to screw a guy after knowing him for 15 minutes is sick beyond repair in 95% of all cases in my opinion. Good luck finding the genuine 5%. You better find a way to use them because the deal from what I've seen is - who can use who first and the most. If you have one as a novia, she is short on cash one day, doing a guy that she's known for 15 minutes isn't a problem for her, how could she possibly say no to it when she needs an extra buck?

I'm moving to CR in the April/May timeframe - my radar is wide awake. I really don't see the need to commit to anyone in CR, however. There are so many, what's the use?