7 Reasons Not to Send Money
Our playmates in Costa Rica understand that many of us are lonely, love-starved...or simply want to function as a father figure or Daddy for someone. Perhaps, like me you feel their life struggles and sincerely want to help. Maybe you think your $300.00 sent via Western Union or Moneygram will save her life. It's an admirable impulse, if not just a little misguided...but it is a pure and charitable impulse nonetheless.
There are a number of practical reasons why you should avoid sending money to your "novias" in Costa Rica. These are presented in no particular order of importance.
1. Lies and Liars: The most obvious reason not to send money is that, she might not be telling the truth. In my numerous experiences of receiving RFM's (Request for Money), more often than not the girls are telling the truth about whatever need or emergency they have, but many will work RFM's like a big fishing net; most gringos will refuse to send money, but a certain percentage will believe her and send money. Others try to work "long cons" on a single gringo mark, looking for the big lifetime score, which might include marriage and a ticket north.
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There was famously, a gringo resident of CR who was exchanging pre-written RFM e-mails in English for free sex, money or both. Girls would buy a dozen different form letters from him, and he would help them fill in the names. One woman reportedly sent RFM's to sixty different U.S. and Canadian gringos using one of these form letters.
2. You Can't Save Her
Unless you have virtually unlimited financial resources, you will not be able to save her in the long term. You might help her over a rough spot, but there will never Be an end to emergency needs.
There's no such thing as permanently resolving a problem for her, because every day will bring her new survival challenges and needs. I guarantee that once you have paid for her light and gas bills, she'll remember next week that the water bill is due...and on...and on...
3. You Don't Owe Her, Karmically or Otherwise
You really don't. She knew the risks, uneven earnings from night to night etc. when she got into the business. If you've paid her fairly, and the service was fine...that's it. Paying/phucking her does not imply any debt thereafter
4. She Doesn't Really Love You, She Loves Your Wallet
She might even think of what she feels for you as real love, but in the end her declarations of love are survival reflexes. You are not, if you are like most hobbyists, her sexual ideal. She is programmed by evolution and her biology to seek men with physical characteristics that make them viable sperm donors. What she wants from you, gringo is resources. ; she'll get love from the young, muscled dude who is banging her every day before she leaves for work and getting a BJ from her when she comes home. That is who she "loves," because he can provide healthier, more viable sperm (back to basic biology and evolution) And she "loves" him, even though she knows that there is a high probability that he will leave her, once she becomes pregnant with his offspring. .
5. She Might Not Even Really Need your Money
This will surprise some readers. While it's true that most of our playmates come from relative poverty, some do not. Either they have good earnings from a straight job, family support, financial generosity from other gringos or a combination of all these.
I will name her, because I know her to be a scam artist, although I haven't encountered her in five years or so. Her name is Diana. At one time, she had a husband with a fulltime job (yet swore she was unmarried). She had a job working in the administration office of a large private clinic, and her mother still owns a beautiful home right behind the Mexican Embassy, a few steps from the Casa Amarilla. Pretty exclusive neighborhood for the mother of a whore. She was able to attend university at least half time, where she was (verified) studying industrial process engineering. Yet at one time she was reportedly receiving at least $2,000.00/month from an Indian dude in New York, had seven active phone numbers and was still asking me for money "for her starving little boy." She obviously enjoyed the sexual part of her job...but really didn't need to work. This might be why I haven't seen her around the hotel in several years. (See "lies and Liars" above). In the case of little Diana, this information is solid. Some of it came directly from her real novio/Sancho (not husband). This is the same girl who no-showed, but a family member called to convince me that Diana was in the hospital with a collapsed lung. Oh, and she also claimed to suffer from lupus.
6. You're Not the Only One...Period, End of Story
Sorry. She's not your novia. I laugh my ass off at the misguided, lovesick, adolescent fantasies spun by some guys. Fact. If you don't live in C.R., she won't be your novia. In fact, you might be part of a "stable" of novios. If she's clever about it, she will make sure that she is available exclusively to you, when you visit the country. But as soon as she weeps the sad goodbye at the airport and the last tearful kiss is shared, she'll walk around from Departures over to Arrivals and wait for the next novio to hit town. I once ran into a guy who was being met by the same girl who had dropped me off with tears in her eyes, swearing dramatically that she would be faithful until my return. Dude #2's plane showed up fifteen minutes early... When she wasn't waiting for him outside the Customs queue, he wandered over to the Departures side of the airport...
Busted!
7. The final reason for not sending money is purely self preservation. We live in good economic times for the most part, but you *could* suffer a setback in the market, have a financial emergency of your own, lose your job or be sued by someone...who knows? Your generosity over time might well drain your savings to the point where you can't handle your own financial emergencies.
another important part of self- preservation is avoiding problems with the law, either at home or in C.R. Efforts to stop trafficking in drugs and human beings, and to prevent money laundering mean that Western Union and Moneygram are both severely restricting sending money to Costa Rica in particular. There are Federal laws in the U.S. that limit how much money you can give as gifts, and money sent abroad is included under these limits. Exceeding limits like these will attract the attention of the authorities over time, and you might find yourself in front of a Federal judge, trying to explain why you gave a relative stranger thousands of dollars.
In the end, you cannot save her. She might be lying or exagerrating her needs, and she probably has other suckers sending cash to her. And even if you're her only one, her needs are real, she's telling the truth etc., it is unfair to make her dependent on you, especially as you won't be able to support her for life.
How do I know? I'll let you guess.
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