www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Carry cash, less than $10,000 per trip, and open a foreign bank account.
Coffee cans buried in the desert.

Document your trip to Las Vegas, right after getting cash in hand.
It sucks that you always lose at the tables.

C''mon, think!!

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It is cheaper to pay now and get it over with.
It is also easier to get them to leave.

OK, but the problems with 1 and 2 are that there is a trail showing it coming into and leaving your accounts. Any half decent lawyer or accountant would ask, where did it go?

The vegas idea is good, but liable to be hard to pull off more than once unless you have habitually gambled with large sums in the past.

Any suggestions on a good foreign bank system to work with? I have some friends that use the Bahamas and have good things to say.

You don't need a resume or experience to lose heavily at gambling.
Besides, your wife will have already been mad at you for losing everything long before you ask for a divorce.

Good locations?
Bahamas
Barbados.
Singapore.
Channel Islands.
A trusted relative?

If you go this route, don't fly directly there.
That leaves a trail.
RT to point A,
from there RT to bank location, paid cash, not credit card.

This approach can be the difference in you being comfortable the rest of your life, or just struggling to get along.

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It is cheaper to pay now and get it over with.
It is also easier to get them to leave.

Brandda,

You talk about being stuck. Does she withhold sex from you? Do you argue & fight? Does she spend money like water out of a faucet? Does she undermine your authority with your sons?

These are the things that you will not miss if you go through the big D.

Brace yourself: most likely, she will be awarded primary custody and try to control you by withholding time from your sons when she can. She will bad mouth you to all your mutual friends. Her friends will hate you. She will get as much money as she can and bitch about you abandoning them.

If you are already a good Dad, you will have the opportunity to spend more concentrated, quality time with them than you do now with all your traveling. If you & your spouse fight/argue, the k*ds will not miss that.

Most k*ds would rather be from a broken home than live in one.

It's all painful... most guys don't regret... some do. Eventually a divorced man who first married young will feel like he has a new lease on life.

Just the view from my trench...

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Eu gosto de brasileiras...

Branda,
In an earlier post to this thread, you suggest that after the boys have grown, the wife will change/improve her behavior toward you. Won't happen, sorry.

Change in human personality rarely happens, and change in behavior happens only with serious and concentrated effort. Don't expect miracles.

I have been married for 17 years to the same woman. We are childless, and it seems to make no difference in my wife's treatment of me. She has numerous reasons/excuses for witholding sex, she is hyper-critical and has become a generally disagreeable person with whom to live. My financial situation is complicated by the fact that she is the principal wage earner in our household, and any divorce under Minnesota law would leave me without a pot in which to piss or a window from which to throw it.

Also, I continue to stay out of bulldog-like tenacity. I made a solemn and public promise seventeen years ago and want to see it through. I have only recently discovered the remedy for a lukewarm sex life, and I found it in play-for-pay. Local affairs with non-pros always turn out badly, local P4P would be illegal and expose me to too many risks, etc.

As someone else has suggested, perhaps you should consider maintaining the marriage and seeking pleasure outside it.

I'm afraid however that you've blown it. In the name of scientific experimentation, you've shown your hand. Your wife now knows that you're dissatisfied. Unless she's a total moron, she'll quickly figure that you're going to make some kind of move, and she'll be watching your bank and investment accounts with the dilligence of a good CPA. You may have, through your own ego and desire to improve your marriage, screwed yourself royally. But who knows?

My course will remain to be adulterous, in order to save my sanity and health while at the same time, trying to maintain this marriage and keep the very public promise I made in a church all those years ago. Maybe I'm nuts?

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.

Well, you can always take a lot of cash from the bank, come to Vegas for a vacation and "lose it all" in those damn slot machines

TV: Don't bury coffee cans. They can and will be detected by metal detectors. Use tupperware/plastic stuff that are air tight. Trust me on this. Wile Coyote (4 days and counting for trip #4!!)

I was speaking metaphorically.
I gave him more details by PM

I made my break long ago.
Cleanly!!

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It is cheaper to pay now and get it over with.
It is also easier to get them to leave.

A couple of points to consider, from the Rolex:

#1: Talk with an actual divorce attorney. I got divorced in Texas a couple of years ago, and what they told me was that if you are married for more than 10 years, and have K*ds and she has no way to earn a "decent living" (as determined by whom?) ... then you WILL have to pay alimony.

#2: If you didn't have any K*ds, I'd say, "Dump the bitch" as I did and move one. However, you had the K*ds, now see it through to completion. Yeah, it sucks that you're tied into this... but welcome to the real world. LIfe sucks some times. IF you need more and better sex in your life, then take up fishing and come to Costa Rica every other month. Tell her it's for business, or start a business, or develop some friends here, or attend an "internet marketing seminar." Whatever. But you owe it to your K*ds to stick around. Divorce will not change as much as you think, it will just rearrange the nature of your relationships, and who knows what kind of fuck-nuts she'll bring into your house as her new boyfriend? Do you want a guy like Tommy Lee hanging around your K*ds? You're stuck buddy. Now it's time to make the best of it.

Although there's some good advice posted (especially KingCosta's),
Who in their right mind comes in here and (1st post) consults this group of male sluts for marriage advice? You must be phucking kidding me, thats like calling Michael Jackson for advice on raising your K*ds, (MJ)-"Yeah, just send them right over for a slumber party Brandda."

Maybe it'd be better to call Dr. Laura.

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Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Paco, I had the same thought. However, I do love this thread. Lots of good information.

Marriage is prison, I can't believe I actually entertained doing it again. I guess in my first I was "coerced by many external,social and monetary factors" into marriage. Long story..too long for this board. In my profession it just doesn't look good to have a live in and a natural Ch*ld. Some people really frown on that stuff. Let me rephrase that...it doesn't look good no matter your profession. However, in the social circles that I am "forced" to deal with, it's really taboo.

Now, boys, on with the discussion. I'm eating it all up. LOTS of good stuff on here. Hopefully, Brandda is getting his moneys worth here.

dapanz1

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Paradise= Sitting outside the Bodega in Panama City about 1 am. Drinking cool Balboas with cool friends and blazin' hot Colombianas. I want to be there..RIGHT NOW!

Marriage has it's place. I think all of us just need to filter through the pre-programmed bullshit we're fed as Ch*ldren (and in the movies) in order to find the type of woman who is happy and content treating us like the men that we are.

Grrrr.

It was my impression he was seeking advice on NOT BEING MARRIED.

Who better than us?

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It is cheaper to pay now and get it over with.
It is also easier to get them to leave.

No offense, but IMHO, Marriage (the institution itself) IS the very "pre-programmed bullshit we are fed as Ch*ldren (and in the movies)". It is presently nothing more than a ruse...a trick...a trap..."Buy now, pay later"; "Act in haste, repent in leisure": And "the type of woman who is happy and content treating us like the men that we are" has become a myth...she is, at best, past the point of being an "endangered species" and well on her way to complete extinction: Due to real or perceived selection pressure, she is, by and large, evolving into a skillfull, astute, and calculating master-manipulator, whether subtle or overt...and the "bitch" of it, if you will, is that one has only to marry her to activate these dormant/camoflaged traits in order to confirm this truth...and awaken a potentially formidable adversary!

This dilema, combined with our own innate desire for multiple partners in order to satisfy our desire for sexual variety (i.e. the lure of "strange" pu*sy and the GFE), bodes poorly, indeed irrationally, for the idealistic farce of "getting hitched" monogamously with any chance of truly satisfying "permanent" or even "long-term" survivability.

Hence, the standard "happy medium" for a man's comfortable survival has essentially become "NO CIEN...Y NO MATRIMONIO!"

CCP

Look, here's the problem: Men of my generation (War baby) were raised by a Dad who worked 10 hours a day (6 on Saturday) and a Mom who's only job was to be a Wife and Mother.
The Dad was the provider who did his job well. Mom was the Mom, nurse, chafuer, cook, cleaner, teacher and disiplinarian.
Our examples were "Father Knows Best", "Life of Riley".
When I first got married, I expected to work hard and come home to a hot meal at six.
Didn't happen. Wife was great for the first year or so, but then her "friends" told her the way she should treat me because I was treating her like an olger.
I'm sorry, I don't like it when the world changes and nobody tells me.
Two marriages and neither one worked out.
Is it me?
Probably, but its who I am. Sorry 'bout that.
LVSteve

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Just an old horney, fat gambler.