Chi_trekker wrote:
I MARRIED A REAL TICA, WHO IS NOT A PROSTITUTE... from a middle class family of engineers and dentists. Whats different? I don't shell-out money to her and her family all the time. In fact, her family has never asked me for a penny. Does that sound different here? Honey, we need to buy diapers and milk. Thats it!!!
Chi, that's fantastic. You've got a good woman and from what we know of you you've got a great life in CR. I'd like you to consider for a moment if you haven't already how fortunate you really are. Here's some thoughts that you and other members may consider:
How many of us have jobs that can transfer to CR? Furthermore, who has a job where the business you work for has international offices? How many of us if we decide to date/marry a foreign bride, would have to live in her country? As you're aware, the laws in the U.S. favor the women in most divorce/custody cases. So even if I married a Tica and brought her to live with me in the States, it would only be a short time before she realizes the ease and availability of laws that support her gender. This means that my greatest chance for marital success means living with her in HER country. Her family and native support system remains intact, making her more secure in her marriage to me. In contrast, I'm less secure given my lack of Latin cultural and social background. Let's not forget who is making the greater sacrifice in that arrangement. Me, a gringo living in CR or her, a Tica living where she's always lived, with family she's always loved, speaking a language she's always known? Exactly.
This forum, ex-pat blogs and other sites catering to Costa Rica are filled with horror stories of men who been unjustly mistreated by the Costa Rican legal system. Tales of woe abound. Gringo's are presumed wealthy even though we know that's not the case! Think you're gonna get a fair shake in the CR family court system? I don't. I can recount one story of a man who married a Tica and the marriage fell apart. It happens. The thing is, as part of the separation he had to pay her alimony, Ch*ld support, and a bevy of other expenses BEFORE the divorce was even decreed. The judge forbade him from leaving Costa Rica for years and the Tica was satisfied in knowing she made out like a bandit. Why do we as men not consider the legal ramifications of our decisions when it comes to "love" and marriage?
Lastly Chi, you make reference to your wife's family of dentist and engineers. Now understand I'm not attacking you or diminishing what you have in ANY way. That's not in my heart, man. I respect and cheer what you've been able to accomplish. I just find it interesting that you unintentionally recommend men making a marital choice based on CLASS. I don't even know if you're aware of it, actually. You see, Latin culture is much more class conscience than gringo culture as you're aware. The fact that you mention this is a strong indicator that you've assimilated into the Costa Rican/Latin way of life. That's a good thing because you live there. However, we in the monger community who decide to cross that line and marry a Tica don't have the same resources that you have in time, effort or resources to enjoin ourselves in the upper classes whereby we can find "good" wives who will treat us well and not decide to burn us financially when the bottom drops out in the marriage.
You were a monger once. I'll ask you, did you gain respect and validation from your wife and her family because you were a monger or was it because you were a gringo who had already established himself with a good job in CR? See what I mean? You got the girl because you met her in a supermarket shopping AND she found you desirable as a mate because you had your shit together. Since I don't live in CR, I don't speak fluent Spanish and I hang out at HLH on a week long vacation twice a year, I'm persona non-grata to the "upper" class system in CR. This proves the rule that most men don't stand a chance at snagging the good girl unless they LIVE in CR and have COIN to make her dreams come true.
I'm in the monger class. No K*ds to care for. No wife to please(as if that's possible). No "oopsies" or "uh-oh's" from the women I get with. No birthdays or anniversaries to remember. No, "where is this relationship going?" type questions. I don't have to plan trips or weekends with her. I don't have to pay a babysitter. No runny noses, no sleepless nights, no nagging, and no period panties left in the sink. No K*ds to pick up from daycare. I get all the freaky sex that a wife would NEVER allow. Anal?- Sure, for a $20 propina. BBBJ? Standard rate. Most importantly, all my money is MINE. EVERY. SINGLE. DIME. I can live like a pauper or live like a king. Marriage to any women whether Tica, Puta, or Gringa is a tough, tough sell for me.
Or maybe I'm wrong...