www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I hired a Spanish language tutor at the Home Depot the other day in anticipation for my upcoming trip to CR. Here are the phrases I have been coached in so far and I wonder if I am on the right track:
- Do you want to party? = Tengo que viajar muy lejos para tener relaciones sexuales.
- Would you like a drink? = Soy viejo y calvo.
- You are very lovely = No sudas mucho por una perra gorda.
- You are very pretty, do you like to dance? = Estoy buscando una puta barata que no me va a robar.
- Would you like to get something to eat? = ¿Tiene cangrejos?
- Can we go somewhere quiet and talk? = Tengo cincuenta dólares que dice que usted no me puede hacer un orgasmo.
- Please take me to my hotel = Por favor, llévame a un callejón y la taza de mí.

Ahhhh....no, not even close

_________________
The only thing that matters is happiness in all it forms...

You are learning a lot and your translations are pretty good, but I want to make a few suggestions to improve your Spanish and to have a more accurate meaning:

-Do you want to party?= Quiero follar
- Would you like a drink? = No sé qué hacer.
- You are very lovely = Estoy desesperado.
- You are very pretty, do you like to dance? = No tengo amigos y estoy solo.
- Would you like to get something to eat? = Tengo filo
- Can we go somewhere quiet and talk? = Hace mucho que no chingo
- Please take me to my hotel = Soy gringo y tengo mucho dinero

LMAO!

_________________
"If you think that I'm half crazy your wrong, I'm at least seventy-five percent gone. I was born this way and I'll die this way so I probably won't be changing today." - Richie Allbright, South Texas Singer/Songwriter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftvsq3mX0Ow

Ah, yes the Big Clue that this was gonna be a hoot. Would somebody go through his list and tell us Spanish-ignorant what those sentences really mean?

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

Do you want to party? = Tengo que viajar muy lejos para tener relaciones sexuales.
I HAVE TO TRAVEL VERY FAR TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS/GET LAID

- Would you like a drink? = Soy viejo y calvo.
I'M OLD AND BALD

- You are very lovely = No sudas mucho por una perra gorda.
YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT BITCH

- You are very pretty, do you like to dance? = Estoy buscando una puta barata que no me va a robar.
I AM LOOKING FOR A CHEAP WHORE THAT WON'T ROB ME

- Would you like to get something to eat? = ¿Tiene cangrejos? (The Spanish word for body crabs is Ladillas).
DO YOU HAVE CRABS

- Can we go somewhere quiet and talk? = Tengo cincuenta dólares que dice que usted no me puede hacer un orgasmo.
I HAVE 50 DOLLARS THAT SAYS YOU CAN'T MAKE ME COME

- Please take me to my hotel = Por favor, llévame a un callejón y la taza de mí.
PLEASE TAKE ME TO AN ALLEY AND ROB ME

_________________
"If you think that I'm half crazy your wrong, I'm at least seventy-five percent gone. I was born this way and I'll die this way so I probably won't be changing today." - Richie Allbright, South Texas Singer/Songwriter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftvsq3mX0Ow

-Do you want to party?= Quiero follar
DO YOU WANT TO Phuck

- Would you like a drink? = No sé qué hacer.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

- You are very lovely = Estoy desesperado.
I AM DESPERATE

- You are very pretty, do you like to dance? = No tengo amigos y estoy solo.
I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS AND I'M ALONE

- Would you like to get something to eat? = Tengo filo
I HAVE A KNIFE

- Can we go somewhere quiet and talk? = Hace mucho que no chingo BETTER is (hace mucho tiempo no he cogido/follado) Chingar is seldom used outside of Mexico
A LONG TIME I HAVEN'T phucked

- Please take me to my hotel = Soy gringo y tengo mucho dinero
I AM A GRINGO AND I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY

_________________
"If you think that I'm half crazy your wrong, I'm at least seventy-five percent gone. I was born this way and I'll die this way so I probably won't be changing today." - Richie Allbright, South Texas Singer/Songwriter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftvsq3mX0Ow

Thank you Brothers so much--I was fixin' to trot out some of these with a Latin hottie at Walmart--they'd put what was left of me under the damn jail.

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

- Do you want to go to party? = te quieres ir de fiesta

- Would you like something to drink? = te quieres algo beber

- You are very lovely = eres hermosa/bonita

- You are very pretty, do you like to dance? = eres bonita, te gusta bailar

- Would you like to get something to eat? = quieres algo de comer

- Can we go somewhere quiet and talk? = podemos ir a algún lugar tranquilo para hablar

- Please take me to my hotel = por favor llévame a mi hotel


Try these Jazzbo

(not perfect spanish, but I try)

Somebody has moved from very beginning to super intermediate...Good on you brother!

_________________
I said hey baby, take a walk on the wild side.
Lou Reed

Te quieres ir a la fiesta = Is asking if she wants to go to a party/event that is planned or in progress. Fiesta is a noun meaning Party/Gathering/Celebration but has no significance as an act of going to party.

"Quieres salir conmigo" is simply asking her if she wants to leave with you and will make a lot more sense to her. If you ask her to go to the fiesta she will most likely ask "Cual Fiesta/What Party. I'm sure she will understand any of the above but since we are on the subject I will just inject my thoughts here.

Also, "Quieres ir otro lugar" = Want to go somewhere else. That leaves it wide open and will get her in the street with you.

_________________
"If you think that I'm half crazy your wrong, I'm at least seventy-five percent gone. I was born this way and I'll die this way so I probably won't be changing today." - Richie Allbright, South Texas Singer/Songwriter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftvsq3mX0Ow

Thanks amigo, but I am FAR from intermediate Those were kind of simple (and thx for the corrections)

Working on it every day Colombia has that effect

Well that bastard at Home Depot better give me my twenty bucks back.

_________________
"If you think that I'm half crazy your wrong, I'm at least seventy-five percent gone. I was born this way and I'll die this way so I probably won't be changing today." - Richie Allbright, South Texas Singer/Songwriter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftvsq3mX0Ow

Damn that was funny