www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Here are six reasons why you should think
 
before you speak -the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that
 
you could immediately take the words back...  
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....  
FIRST TESTIMONY:
 
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three K*ds in tow and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
 
SECOND TESTIMONY:
 
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes,  I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'
 
THIRD TESTIMONY:
 
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.  
 
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.  
FOURTH TESTIMONY
  :  
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.  
 
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
 
Have you ever asked your Ch*ld a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
 
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said 'No' ..
I kept thinking
'Oh Lord, that Ch*ld has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said,
'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
S oooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks
and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
 
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
 
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
 
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
 
promised me last night?'  
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
 
Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember
we all say things we don't really mean!
 
 

 

_________________
Rainman3

LOL

Thanks for sharing. U made my day

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk

_________________
I die on the day I can't nut 5 times a day.

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of deposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

THAT'S WHEN SHE SHOT HIM!

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.....

Good Stuff THX 4 the laughs !!

Funny, especially the second one!