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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:41 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Perhaps you missed this other article from Travel Magazine:

Battery Operated Dildoes Prohibited Past the Security Checkpoints

In response to a provision in The Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act of 2004, TSA has added all dildoes to its Prohibited Items List – which means they will be prohibited past the security checkpoints at the nation’s airports.

TSA put ALL Dildoes on the Prohibited Items List to reduce a security vulnerability after it was reported that many single men traveling to Costa Rica were reported by baggage handlers and luggage inspectors to be packing dildoes. These devices did not appear to be for personal use and no other innocent reason could be determined for why these men would be carrying them. It was speculated they might be used on the female flight attendants in some bizarre attempt at taking control on the flight.

Dildoes will be treated as any other prohibited item and passengers will need to surrender them to the TSA or leave them in their vehicle or with someone who is not traveling.

Dildoes are still considered contraband and thus are not allowed in checked baggage. Passengers are strongly encouraged to leave these items at home to avoid delays.

Edit: Ooops, I forgot to include the smiley :D. ITS A JOKE GUYS (just in case ya didn't get it)


Last edited by Prolijo on Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:05 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!
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I wonder if the female security guard that Hand Solo embarrassed recently has friends in high places and has arranged this simply as a pay-back to our amigo Handy?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 10:09 pm 
I can do CR without a wingman!

Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:27 pm
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Location: City of Angels
Hmmm , this Dildo thing won't deter us mongers , everyone know's the chica's love " Pocket Rockets " , the Supreme Court may have to decide the difference of this one... :wink:

Bing 8)

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:25 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Another interesting followup article on TSA our fab federal security agency. Here's what they are doing with all the obsconded lighters and nail clippers they are confiscating and selling...

Excerpts from...
http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article ... 5009990003
Quote:
WASHINGTON (April 20) - The Transportation Security Administration allowed lavish spending on a $19 million building for its crisis management center, including $3,000 refrigerators and about $500,000 to acquire artwork, silk plants and other items, an inspector general's report said.

A review of the project's expenditures uncovered evidence of suspicious purchases, improper use of government purchase cards, and unethical and possibly illegal activities by federal employees, according to the report released Tuesday by the Homeland Security Department.
Separate government investigations described Tuesday found that airport screeners employed by private companies do a better job detecting dangerous objects than government screeners and that the screeners' performance apparently had not improved since before the 2001 terrorist attacks.

After the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks, Congress ordered all commercial airports except five to switch from privately employed screeners to a government work force. The five exceptions - in San Francisco; Tupelo, Miss.; Rochester, N.Y.; Kansas City, Mo.; and Jackson Hole, Wyo. - all have private workers supervised by TSA officials.

In its classified report on airport screeners, the Government Accountability Office found statistically significant evidence that passenger screeners, who work at five airports under a pilot program, perform better than their federal counterparts at some 450 airports, said Rep. John Mica, R-Fla., chairman of the House aviation subcommittee.


I wonder if the GAO tracks the income and expenditures from all those confiscated items? Let alone all the Cuban cigars confiscated at customs. At $700 a box, maybe they could hire more educated, higher functioning "screeners" and find better ways to process securing the baggage?


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:41 pm 
I can do CR without a wingman!

Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:27 pm
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Location: City of Angels
I quit trying to figure out what the f*ck those " salad tossers " 8) in D.C. are doing with our dough , and I just paid 2K for 04-taxes to those ST'ers , they prolly spent it on crap already :evil:

Bing :cry:

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:54 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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and I just paid 2K for 04-taxes to those ST'ers


Thats not much, it wouldn't even pay for a TSA refrigerator :evil: :evil:

Quote:
WASHINGTON (April 20) - The Transportation Security Administration allowed lavish spending on a $19 million building for its crisis management center, including $3,000 refrigerators


and the government expresses surprise when people "fudge" on the amount of taxes they owe. :shock: :shock:

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:13 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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:)

Prolijo,

I laughed aloud when I read your joke posting about dildo confiscation. I immediately thought of the Feds re-training dozens of drug and bomb sniffing dogs to also sniff for poon or KY. :LOL:

However, I have a post-911 story to relate. Some friends and I were traveling to Elko, NV on a "Casino Express" charter flight. We planned a weekend of gambling and mongering in the town's four legal brothels (don't bother...) While boarding the plane, a woman who we later discovered to be a working girl had her case opened by a TSA inspector, and literally a dozen various sex toys rolled out of the bag and onto the screening table. She was not embarrassed, but the TSA guy nearly blew a fuse, and incidentally, all the sex toys were indeed confiscated as contraband. The TSA inspector explained that the dildos "could be used as weapons, like a blackjack or sap" and then fabricated a Federal regulation.

Bet the sucker spent his next break sniffing and licking... :P

As a smoker who is blind, let me tell you. It takes some doing to light a cigarette with a paper match, if one can't see the process. I am good at it, most of the time, but for me lighter use is safer. Fewer burnt fingertips, ya know. And yes, the idiot with the shoe bomb was indeed using paper matches.

There is not sufficient butane in a Bic lighter to cause any sort of explosion. Ask any 12 year-old who has drained a lighter into a balloon and ignited it, just to see what happens.

This rule, like so many others in the post-911 era of fascism, makes very little sense.

Possible weapons to use on airplanes, which are not prohibited:

Shoelace garrotte
Ballpoint pen dagger
Frozen water bottle club
Heavy book club
Fists/strangling hands
Umbrella club/dagger/shortsword or epee'
Dildo blackjack :D

And the insanity continues. BTW, a ruling last week makes it legal now for Federal officers to detain/arrest anyone who is _suspected_ of being a terrorist threat. As this arrest is covered by the patriot Act, the detainee may be held indefinitely without charges being brought and without legal counsel or possibility of bail. Clear violations of the Constitution...but i'm not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV. :)

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 Post subject: Confiscation redux
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:30 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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I am unsure if this is true, because eBay is nearly impossible for me to navigate using my screen reader software.

A friend of mine recently found an eBay auction. The seller is the TSA, the item was a lot of confiscated items. Presumably, the money goes back into the Government coffers to help fund the War on Liberty....er, Terror.

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