Ahhh…those loveable Newbies … we laugh from afar and sometimes we cringe … either way we know that you only learn from experience so at times we let them find out on their own … and other times…well we know we have to save them from themselves.
Another TRAVELING TOP TEN … This time it is for the Newbies. It's not meant to be an all-inclusive as there are many things not listed, but simply a few nuggets of advice from my experiences for newbies to chew on a little from the lighter side
Travelings’ TOP 1O NEWBIE TIPS
THE HONORABLE MENTIONNegotiating in the Punani – Many will not admit to this, but I know newbies that have done this plenty of times. They meet a fine chica head back to the room and the negotiation or upsell begins as she is Deep French Kissing them or massaging their nuts … at that point she could charge anything and they’d agree to it. It’s a man thing … something about having your nuts in a vice and a tongue down your throat … never negotiate when a woman has her hands down your pants OR your finger in her well.
Exhausting firepower - For many, the days of packing a six shooter are over … it varies between all you Captain Studs out there … but we should all know what kind of pistol we are packing and how many rounds we can fire.
I’ve seen a few newbie friends come in guns a blazing and next thing you know … there was the big deer in his crosshairs and the chamber was empty … no reload till morning (or at least much later)….or on a 5 day trip they are down for the count by day 3.
Don’t shoot at the first thing you see! Assess the big picture and then ration yourself to 2 a day, 3 a day or whatever you’re equipped to handle.
For many, the days of “rapid fire†are over. You just can’t waste one on something you will not be satisfied with.
Keep in mind, no matter what you see before you … there will always be something just as special or more special to cross your path sooner then you think.
Better to carry one bullet to the next day then to be unable to take down the prize Buck when it is in your crosshairs.
Learn the Language. Habla Espanol. It’s a pain in the ass to most that you have to do work before you go on vacation, but trust me…you will have a better time by leaps and bounds if you know even the basics (but don’t stop there).
I have seen many guys feel like they are on the outside looking in because others are having a little small talk based on just bad “spanglish†and they feel the 3rd party.
Feeling the outsider is never fun anywhere and constantly relying on someone to speak and interpret for you can be frustrating over the long haul. Sure a good wing man will never let his brother down, but atleast be equipped to handle the basics … sooner or later you wingman will be on his own mission and you will be left to fend for yourself.
Learning the language goes far past just having a better time with the chica’s it enhances your eating experience in restaurants, getting around the city, knowing who, what, where, when…and of course because many chica’s know atleast some basic English…the 2 of you trying to piece it together promotes that GFE thing and better ables you to size up whether she is worth a trip back to the room… and they of course respect your effort to try.
No RFM’s – Similar to NO Cien. I can go on and on about this, but simply put “Friends don’t let their Newbies honor Request for Moneyâ€. Sure Newbies can be and are a hard headed bunch, but with the proper mentoring maybe…just maybe we can prevent this from happening.
We all know they will lie and state they would never consider such a thing as you see the receipt from Western Union as they open their wallet.
This is there sweetheart and for all the great romance and jungle sex they have shared… why shouldn’t they help out their friend, their sweety, their love?
To the top 10 ….NUMERO DIEZBeware of “The Sitter†- You enter the Del Rey and your head is on a swivel watching one fine chica after another parading around or posting up at the bar. You already understand that you have to hold on to some patience and not jump at the first thing that looks good to you (rookie move) …
You then find an empty table (rookie move if you’re alone) or post up at the bar for a drink. Some chica with an engaging smile, surely half-decent English and OK looks comes to join you…you share small talk, but you know this isn’t the one…she may or may not ask for a drink or being the nice newbie you offer…
Now you are locked in … she is asking you all the annoying questions taking your time and focus from checking out the scenery (…and what fine scenery it is). Like a zone defense…she has taken you out of the game. She gives the aura that you are her meal ticket and that nobody dare come over to you or make eye contact.
She is a sitter. She will basically sit there, occupy your time, divert your attention away from all the sweethearts that are circling the joint…
You will spend 5 minutes enjoying her casual conversation and then the next 20 trying to think of ways to get rid of her (you can only go to the bathroom so many times)
Simply put … she is there until you tell her that there is no way in hell you are going to the cama with her. She will waste your time and make you lose your focus and possibly lose out on the one you have been wanting...and then most of all…she will stalk you with her eyes the rest of the evening and when she sees you talking or departing with someone else…she will give the stare and face of death as if you are cheating on her….you no good bastard you!
As a side note …It’s always easier when your posted up at the bar to walk away then it is to get rid of a sitter at your table.
NUMERO NUEVEPay after. Know these two words … PAGAR DESPUES !!! It’s the only “obvious†leverage you have for uninspired performance or against the Bait & Switch. It by no means guarantees against poor performance or anything else but it will damn sure keep a chica “somewhat†focused on her job.
Many chica’s will not object to this especially if you took the time to build some rapport, good feeling and comfort level with her by a little conversation or maybe a drink. If she feels comfortable with you and feels like you won’t try to withhold payment or the like it won’t be a problem…but also, don’t take it personal if she prefers not to accept the “pay after†terms as some just hold hard and fast to their convictions due to possibly a bad experience or two but they will eventually relent realizing it is a get something verse nothing proposition for them.
Of course there will be some who will stick to their guns and say no deal to this, but that’s OK . Keep in mind, You’re a meal ticket … not an American Express card…there is no buyer protection program should you not be satisfied with your purchase.
Remember…do what’s comfortable, but also do what makes sense. There are other fish in the sea.
NUMERO OCHONever Cien …Never and Always are strange words in the landscape we play on. According to the dictionary they are absolute, but here in monger world they seem to have built in exceptions … So I say this to someone just starting out … NEVER EVER PAY CIEN.
I can feed you the standard reasons why such as price fixing … keeping the general price for all down. Or that the market value dictates that you can probably get at $50 or $60 what you can get at $100 given the time or place, but I am strictly going to say NO CIEN EVER (and yes it could be a little self serving for all of us).
Why do some pay Cien?
o CONVENIENCE (Path of least resistance, don’t feel like haggling over price).
o I HAVE TO HAVE (This is the girl in my dreams…I’d pay DOS CIEN)
o CIEN IS STILL A DEAL (This based on what they might pay at home or elsewhere for similar)
o BECAUSE MONEY IS NOT AN ISSUE (They have a pretty good size bankroll or they have saved up for this…they aren’t sweating the small stuff).
Remember you pay Cien and she is a dud you are Cien times more pissed then the guy who spent 50 or 60 and it happened to him…and there are no guarantees that paying more will guarantee you better service…though it might… There are a million stories in the naked city that beg to differ … just know that there is no guarantee.
Also, remember, you are a newbie, nobody can manage your wallet but you … so after you have paid for drinks and partied the night away, maybe brought a little snack for 2, and maybe in the end you dish out a tip and cab fare … plus the negotiated rate … you may be at or above CIEN anyway.
In this sport, where taste and the size of one’s wallet varies greatly…it is to each their own…But I am here to tell you …. NEVER CIEN ïŠ
NUMERO SIETETraveling at night (alone). It is not a wise thing to do. Like many things in this sport … many people take different types of risk … some never encounter any issue while others … they are the one’s who will have the story told about them.
Traveling at night is like that … even for a few blocks … sure you grew up in the mean streets; sure you can handle your own … but why tempt fate. Some of these idiots out there are young punks who scare easy at the thought you might challenge them … others are hardcore and are not against inflicting bodily harm with a weapon. It’s a crap-shoot to know which is which.
You’re a target always remember that … and the most dangerous person anywhere is the one with nothing to lose …. These assholes have nothing to lose and as an American (foreigner) they believe you have it to take. Why chance being a statistic on your vacation when you don’t have to be.
Be smart. If spending 70 cents to a dollar for a cab late night gets you to your hotel safely, then that should be your mode of transportation … don’t be a cheapskate or a tough guy when it comes to safety … especially in a foreign country.
NUMERO SEISChica Proofing your Room before exiting. Everyone is anxious, giddy, and excited and can’t wait to hit the bars, streets, MP’s once they get into town, but slow your roll…
Always understand that you will never know when or with whom or with how many you will be returning back to the room with (at anytime)… and to return with lets say a Dupla and you open your door and MP3 player is here, Lap-Top is there, Money/Change is there, Jewelry over there, more valuables and crap over there .. you get the idea.
And surrrrrrrrre … they seem like nice chicks …. Don’t believe all the hype … granted they are there for what you will pay them, but some have been known to pick up a few extra’s if given the chance.
Out of sight, Out of mind is the mindset. More often then not if its not there for them to see then its not there for them to take or contemplate asking for.
My personal suggestion is every time you leave your room make sure you chica proof it … and always have 2 hiding places for your money/valuables if your not using the safe. The first place is for anything that you won’t be accessing on a regular basis like large amounts of cash, passport, etc … this can be buried somewhere where it may take you sometime to get through multiple locks to get to it (typically when your alone in your room). The second location is more of one not directly in sight, but within easy access so if you come to your room with a chica and you need to quickly grab a few bucks for a tip or something its there … no big deal that she knows where this is because you will keep a minimal or nominal amount there.
We all can get caught up in the moment thinking of how good this azz is going to be in just a few minutes, it is really easy to become complacent on what things are left out and about in your own room until after the fact when everyone is gone and you look for something and it is not there.
NUMERO CINCOUnderstand the Currency. OK you don’t know Spanish, but that is not to stop you from knowing/learning the numbers…you can accomplish this on the plane ride down.
Understanding there currency and knowing at least in a “ballpark†sense the conversion of their money to dollars and dollars to their money. It is critical to how much of a good time you will have verse how much a good time you should have had.
Sure you can rely on your wingman to negotiate your deals, but once a chica sees this occurring she quietly knows its open season once you two are alone and here comes the upsell and bait and switch, etc
Many a newbie has been taken to the cleaners because they were left alone to do their own negotiation and they couldn’t convert the currency accurately.
If a chica/waiter/cab driver sniffs out that you are struggling with the currency…be prepared to get robbed from the front by a smiling, unmasked bandit without a weapon.
NUMERO CUATROWrap dat Rascal.. If I have to explain then you should be out the game! Yes you will hear of others who have gone bareback and are proud of it. But take the advice of your mother when you were a K*D.
“If little Johnny jumped off a building, that doesn’t mean you have to do it toâ€
And of course for when it was wet out … She always said “DON’T FORGET YOUR RAINCOAT!!!!â€
I really shouldn’t have to speak on this … the pleasure could be immense, but the consequences could be deadly.
Playing with this type of fire could change your life on so many levels. Some do it, but you don’t have to.
PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
NUMERO TRESShe Loves Me! I Love Her! She don’t love you! She don’t even know you! LOL!!! … and the same applies the other way
Man if I had a dollar for every time I have heard a grown azz man say this after one trip.
It’s OK, to throw yourself into the illusion and the fantasy and live the dream … If you find a girl that floats your boat and rocks your world and makes the world a better place for you by all means enjoy her to the utmost (that’s what it is all about…enjoyment), but know at some time you will have to introduce reality and logic into all this and by all means snap out of it by the time you reach U.S. immigration and pick it back up the next time you arrive .
Again, there are a million stories in the naked city and regardless of how different you feel yours is … in the end it really isn’t different from most.
• MAN meets Girl.
• Girl gives GFE
• Man is continually fvcked by Girl like no other
• Girl realizes her Cash Cow is here. Mooooo
• Man announces girl as love of his life
• Girl announces love for man cause she knows she has him twisted. Moooooooo
• Man returns home to continue “love affair†over the phone and internet
• Girl ask for RFM (Request for Money). Mooooo
• Man says “Fvck that…I’m out†she only wants me for my money
• Girl and Family feel jilted
• Man is an asshole and dead meat to the chica community
LOL!!!!
In all seriousness, there can be had very many fun, romantic and sensual relationships…remember, for the good one’s that is just them doing their job well.
The best one’s want you to have great feeling for them, they want to be your chica of choice, they want to know that every time you touch down they are guaranteed some sort of pay day.
So, while it may be the best session you ever had … it may be simply someone just doing their job well and assuring that you come back for them. The fact that you are her cash cow to be and the fact that there is good karma, laughs, smiles and the nasty porno star sex…makes it easier for her to want to be around you as she collects on her periodic pay days from you. Stop the pay days and see where the “love†is.
I can tell you what she does know about you … that as long as she keeps that feel good “love†feeling present … she will always have some income.
Don’t be a sap … don’t fall in love off a first visit,
NUMERO DOSIt’s Business...know what your negotiating. Never forget that’s what you are. You are a walking open bar. You are the boob job. You are the new outfit. You are their livelihood. You are their Business!!!
To paraphrase the words of Former Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green “You are who they thought you were…and there not going to let you off the hook!†LOL!!!
In any business transaction it is up to you to negotiate the terms to be fair, equitable or in your favor … you do not leave it up to them.
Negotiations should be self serving. Always understand that you are equipped with the most powerful word in mongering known both in English & Spanish and that is simply “NO!†… don’t expect less then what you negotiated and don’t feel like you are taking advantage of some meek damsel. They will try to strike their best deal that’s why any old hag with one eye in the middle of her head will begin negotiation with Cien. It’s not a crazy price if someone pays it … and some people do …even for an old bag of bones you wouldn’t put before your canine. But not you (see Tip#
If a deal is too good to be true…then probably it is … there is no such thing as a free lunch … I read somewhere that “we don’t pay to get them… we pay to get rid of them†and there is an element of truth to that. If there is an opportunity for them to GFE you for your entire trip that is goldmine for them, but it will take you away from the whole mongering landscape and out of the game as others know it (If that’s what you want then so be it), your expenditures will be to one as opposed to many …so giving you some gratis nookie once or twice doesn’t bother them…you have just become her personal cash pipeline.
NUMERO UNODo the Research. You’re a grown man in a K*ds game at heart of chasing tail, there is always a good time to be had by all, but there are many land mines if you’re not careful. To be for warned is to be for armed.
Enjoy it the way you want to enjoy it … not necessarily the way others have. If your reading this then it’s a good start … read other commentary like this to develop your own knowledge base and questions and then rely on your wingman, brother, the cab driver, people who have been there before you or whomever to help you with direction or clear up the cloudy images in your mind and then go out to carve your own niche; create your own experiences and develop your own knowledge base that could possibly be different then anyone else’s
Looking back, being a newbie was fun. Enjoy it with the first timers enthusiasm that you have … you only get that once.
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