www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Tman wrote:

"TO get out of that syndrome, you really need to move up in class, age and education. Just no way around it for long term romance and relationships."

Even considering what Tman has stated, that only narrows some of the selection criteria. I have written in prior posts on the Board that I have worked off and on in Colombia since 1981, and have had three long term GFEs. They were 45, 43, and 40; and at the time I was 50, 52, and 54 respectivey. I am 56 now, so the experiences are not that historic. I will list common criteria that they all had, and I actually wish that I could have started the pursuit earlier in my trips to Bogota in 1981; however, I was married to a nasty gringa then, and while we got divorced in 1984, I made a bigger mistake and re-married within one year (my mistake). I should have focussed on South America instead. I was in my mid-thirties then.

1. All three spoke excellent English.

2. All three were University educated, one a Medical Doctor, the
second a Psychologist, and the third worked for the family business.

3. All had U.S. Visas and had traveled the U.S. previously.

4. No Ki*ds for any of them.

5. All were very cultured, and all thee had lived in Europe at one time
earlier in their lives.

Th credentials mentioned above probably sound pretty good to narrow down potential mistakes; however, believe me, it is still an extreme up-hill battle to establish a permanent long-term relationship. Independent of their social-economic status they will still view you as an affluent gringo; although, only one of the three that I was involved with was overly blatent about that. There will always be significant cultural dfferences, and primarily this will be with the immediate and extended family. When it comes to their family, you will always be "second." There are many other things that I can bring up that will be hurdles to overcome.

The bottom line is, independent of their status and background if you establish a long-term relationship with a latina be prepared for a lot of maintenance. I broke off all three releationships, and the reasons are listed below:

1. Latina one wanted a K*d, and having one daughter that was 22 and
had just graduated from college, I did not want to start a family.

2. Latina two was the chica that tried to separate me with as much dinero
as she could possiby do, most was siphonned off on the pretext of
helping family, until I found out that it was going to a secret "stash"
that she was building for herself.

3. Latina three, and I am still trying to completely figure this one out. At
the time that I walked, I was under a tremendous amount of pressure
from other sources; and I think that under different circumstances
this situation could have worked out.

Anyway, those are some of my previous experiences, and I had mentioned they were long-term for me. Each was over one year, and two were over eighteen months. PM me if you want any more details.

Even considering the previous experiences, I don't think that I have given up the long-term latina relationship.

Like Little Feat sang in the song Mercenary Territory, "Fool that I am, I'll do it all over again . . ."

Denver

Denver...thanks for the personal examples. Well put and provides good insight for a lot of guys here.

ON a personal note, I would have to categorize my Colombiana GF as an answer to your 3 situations. She has no K*ds (very rare at 40), never hits me up for money accept to pay MY bills (well, a couple of hers too), and she never presses for marriage. She is typical latina to the extent that she always worries about me going out with other girls who she "knows" are always hitting on me. But, as long as the paranoia doesnt get TOO out of hand, I can handle her concerns as "she cares about me and the integrity of the relationship". I cant blame her there.

OUtside of that she has all the other ingredients you mentioned. Many US visas and trips, better traveled in Europe than I am, and comes from a family of educated professionals. These are things you will NOT find at the Delrey or Key Largo...sorry.

I too have learned from some prior Latina relationships...

TMAN's post on page 2 of this thread really boils it down very nicely. Probably the best summation of the real deal in these relationships I have ever read.

I have gotten to the point that I will never engage in a LTR with a woman who does not live in the US. While the excitement, exoticism & intrigue are plentiful...the odds are just so stacked against these relationships that I will not put myself in such a position again.

Rather, I will seek out latina that already lives here. Sure, it becomes exponentially tougher, but you are also taking out alot of the bigger risk factors. These women would have already found work, have already made the adjustment from being with their families, speak English, etc. And most importantly, if you can get one here, you will be reasonably comfortable that she likes you for who you are, not what you are.

Of course I am fortunate that I live in Dallas where you can find women of just about any nationality if you look hard enough.

In summary, I will look for LTR's up here which takes alot of time and effort...but if I want to play with some of my hot little brown sisters, I will go down south and lease them.

_________________
"Jizz Long and Prosper!"

JunFan

We should go hunting together for Latinas in the big D

I wish you guys luck trying to find Latina GFE;s stateside...even Dallas. I still maintain that whether you take a latina there, or find here there...she is at LEAST 50% gringa almost overnight! I remember trying to date Mexican ladies in Chicago after moving back to the states from Mex and getting divorced. I swore that I spoke better spanish than most of these "chicanos"...and the attitude was definitely more gringa than latina. Not saying it cant be done, but I would still rather MOVE to latin america and have a native latina. It might even be something in the water...

Tman is absolutely correct. Nearly all of the chicas that migrate to the US
do indeed become 'Americanized' in a very short time. They observe the culture and the relationships between the sexes, talk and interact with many Gringas, etc. It can be done, but the odds of finding a chica that has lived
in the US for, say at least six months, and has NOT become 'Americanized' are extremely low.

_________________
"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile, and the rest of us are phucked until we can put our acts together; not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely"...Hunter S. Thompson (RIP)

ok

T-man,

You make a great point. I think the best possible scenario would be for a gringo to make a comfortable living in latin america and have a girlfriend there rather than having a latina girlfriend in the united states.

Why do I think that ? Becuase in latin america we, the guy, is not as easily replaced as we are in america. There are many guys forming lines to roll out the red carpet for the attractive ladies in america.

Secondly, most ladies, no matter what country they are from, quickly start to behave like their pu*sy is worth its weight in gold and don't wanna give it up often. I know, there are some exceptions to this.

I gotta give kudos to the latino men that maintain their macho role in the latino culture. I also think that legalized prostitution helps the guys too becuase the ladies know if they don't give it up, then we can just walk down the street and get laid for cheap. All of a sudden, the women is easily replaceable, so she better have some appreciation and respect for the guy.

I would say if you bring a latina to the states i would advise against helping her find other latinas to be friends with. Latinas that are americanized have this phucked up sense of feminism which is to corrupt your woman into dominating you.

So i would recomend instead of introducing her to other latinas it would be better to make her close to your family. Latinas are huge on families and once they fall for your family its hard to just get up and walk away. Because she wouldnt be leaving you, she would be leaving her other family.

Just my two cents.

_________________

ok

I have actually been through this, brought a girl from Barranquilla to Dallas on a K-1 Visa (fiance), and married her.

I could spend all day writing about it, but I would still point you to TMAN's post on p.2 of this thread.

But there were 2 things mentioned here that I strongly disagree with:

1) the idea that you should keep them out of the labor force to prevent allowing gringas to poison their mind

2) Keep them from making alot of latina friends.

Both of these seem to come from the idea that you will somehow install some "protective moat" around the girls once they are here, soas to preserve the type of man/woman relationship you enjoyed when she lived in her country.

But guess what? The second she gets to the US, she is members of an open society, and will be exposed to everything. The key is doing your homework, and putting in the time w/ the girl to really get to know one another. What you really want, is a girl who truly loves you for who you are, not what you are. You, in turn, will love her to the point where you want her to be all she can be....like having a job that gives her sense of purposefullness, and making friends with whom she can relate. The right woman will actually love you more for you having done this, while making the relationship not so "paternalistic" in nature (see also Tman's post on p.2)

I have done it, and know alot of other guys who have tried it....And I can tell you that I won't do it again. Doesn't mean it can't work, just that the risk/reward is really not acceptable at this point in time.

_________________
"Jizz Long and Prosper!"

In 1986 one of my co-workers brought a Thai girl back to the States.
He told her she was an illegal (not true) and kept her sheltered for 9 years.
He said it was great while it lasted.

When she finally got wise it got real uncomfortable for him.

ok

Hung - Lo wrote:

"I gotta give kudos to the latino men that maintain their macho role in the latino culture."

Keep in mind Bro, it is the macho latino attitude that most latinas independent of their education, occupation, age, or other statuses want to avoid; and they percieve gringos as a favorable alternative to this. In other words the macho latino attitude helps drive them to U.S. gringos, and in this regard I hope that latino men do their best to maintain this image as it makes my conquests easier.

Also, there has been quite a bit of comment regarding sheltering latinas when bringing them to the U.S. This is an absolutely stupid concept. Be open about everything, as it shows respect and trust for your latina. If you are not confortable with this then you might not feel confortable in the relationship, and definitely insecure.

I have had several latinas stay in my house for different periods of time with the intent of determining if this "shake down cruise" could turn into the real thing. Basically, I encouraged all contact with any other latinas, pariticularly from the same country. Even found a support group of Colombians here that met socially on a regular basis, as most other nationalities have in most major cities, i.e., the German Club, etc. Don't be concerned about "Americanization" because, in part, that is one aspect that they are attracted to you and want to move to the U.S.

Remember, it is their basic values that they have (their Latin Amercan upbringing) that it is important to you. These will last forever. If you have lived yourself for a considerable time in any foreign environment, or traveled for extended periods on a frequent basis, then you will assimilate a certain degree to the culture that you are in; however, you will never lose the values that you learned in the U.S. Any other changes are purely attribituble to the gender of the beast, not the environment.

Just a few thoughts.

Denver

ok