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Helium was up
Paper was stationary
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading
Knives were up sharply
Cows were steered into a bull market
Pencils lost a few points
Hiking equipment was trailing
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline
Weights were up in heavy trading
Light switches were off
Mining equipment hit rock bottom
Diapers remained unchanged
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel
The market for raisins dried up
Coca Cola fizzled
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit
Sun peaked at midday
Balloon prices were inflated
Scott Ttissue touched a new bottom
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

BUT what is the news about Rubbers??

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My best friend was the clock on the wall, and he turned out not to be much of a friend in the end

This report is a work-in-progress--feel free to add to it.

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

They took the shaft after the open?

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Why settle for just one woman when you can enjoy them all?

See, now that's what I'm talkin' about. Step up gents--we got more wits than these here

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED