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Sleeping Bag –

If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head.



The Walk Of Shame –

When all of your buds see you walking home in the morning from the house of the nasty bitch they begged you not to Phuck the night before.



Upper Decking –

The act of removing the lid of a toilet and taking a deep shit in the tank. Every time the toilet is flushed after that brown, shitty water comes out leaving the owner wondering "what the Phuck is wrong with my plumbing?" The trick is to wipe and throw the toilet paper in the bowl forcing them to flush. Perfect for parties and bars.



Suicide Bomber (see also "Traveling Salesman") –

Go home with a skank on what you know is a one night stand. Phuck her good a couple of times, go to sleep and when you wake up Phuck her again. Soon, she will fall asleep again. When this happens take a shit in her bed and get up real quiet like so that she can't tell. Get the hell out. When she gets up and notices that you are gone she will think, "where did he go?? oh well he was a good lay." She will return home after a hard day at work and climb into her bed to find your friendly gift with her toes.




Sud N' Fud –

When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't Phuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to Phuck that instead.

Stranger - The act of sitting on your hand until it falls asleep, then you jerk off with it


Silent Alarm - You are banging a girl and you hear her husband pull up in the driveway.


The Moped - A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.


Hannibal - Drinking 151 all night and waking up to you riding an elephant that you took home the night before.


Going For A McShit - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the shitter. If challenged by a pimply staff member, just tell them that you'll buy a McShit with Lies afterwards.


Freudian Slip - Shitting in your pants while farting. Farting is what you are doing, but shitting is your subconscious wants.

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

Deep.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

subconscious



hahahahahahahahaha

_________________
The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

I like the toilet bowl one, I must try this over at my brothers house.

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"You can only keep a secret between two people if the other one is dead." Ben Franklin