www.CostaRicaTicas.com

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.

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Why settle for just one woman when you can enjoy them all?

What does a gynecologyst, and a pizza delivery man have in common?

They can both smell it, but can't eat it....


Cujo

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"Pain is the fuel that fans the flames of my pyre. A battle plan is only as good as the general carrying it out on the field. This is my war son, and I have the biggest bombs and the smallest conscience"...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter

'What are you doing?'
She asked.

'Hunting Flies'
He responded.

'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?'

He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.

I single handedly killed this thread over a year ago. But its Friday and I am in a funny mood. So, lets see whats out there.


There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

...And to think I sweeten my coffee with blackstrap. I'll be thinking of this tomorrow AM, you betcha.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

where is your joke?????

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Japanese men says, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry." The waitress says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??" One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

Me too. And Walmart Wine should be posted on "what are you drinking now"

Do not feed the trolls" and its abbreviation DNFTT redirect here. For the Wikimedia essay, see "What is a troll?".
In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[2]

They got the right guy for the job. Where's that Phucking bad Azz ugly dog?

Yes Mastah? You rang? You call them trolls--I call them troglodytes. Turn me loose--I'll smoke them all...except that only encourages them. Best to ignore and not rise to the bait.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

I am not certain exactly who or what the comments by Jazzbr or 3f's , are about. But if there are about my opening line from yesterdays 1st joke, PLEASE, do not misunderstand my statement about “Killing this thread” It was nothing more then me looking at this thread and realizing that it has been over a year since the last Friday joke was posted and it happened to have been mine which was the last one. My reference, although, not very clear was an attempt to point out my joke from a year ago must have been so bad that it killed the thread. I was in a strange mood yesterday and perhaps this was just another bad joke in it self, I guess.

It was in no manner to try and derail or ruin this thread, or any others. I do not post very often and perhaps have made errors in other posts. But, none of my posts have ever been with malice or fore thought of acting as a troll or any other negative intention.

Again apologize if this was taken the wrong way.

Heckfire Goinsouth, I understood what you meant and I'm just happy that you revived this thread--there are some great jokes on here. Keep them coming.

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" Omit no happy hour that may give furtherance to our expedition."

Goinsouth,

On the contrary, much appreciation for reviving this thread. I had not seen it before and was LMAO .

I was joking on PR and his dog Perro Succio and their "attempts to reign in the trolls". As we all know they are often the instigators of such.

Thank you again for the posts.

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little K*ds to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period" reported Johnnie.

"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know" said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

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my first wingman sent me this, how true

" most of the girls down here, lie as a self defense mechanism and to not have to face the truth, thinking most men couldn't accept them knowing the whole truth. Simpler, they may just want men to think they are as perfect as they want to appear to them, trying to hide what they consider to be the ugly truth about themselves. And I may be reading more into it than is there, but I do believe they consider the basis of the lies to be justified."

My friend called the suicide hotline, and got a call center in Afghanistan. He told them he was feeling suicidal and they got all excited, asking him if he knew how to fly an airplane........

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Jaco is called little USA by all ticos

OK, I searched all week and I think I found the stupidest joke. I wanted to attach the wmv file for this as preformed by a bunch of monkeys, which I actually do find funny for some unknown reason, but, being only one nocth above the primates when it comes to computers, I do not know how to attach a wmv file to a post. Can anyone help me understand how or if that is possible?

Anyway here is the joke.

A penguin is taking a road trip when his car suddenly breaks down. Luckily
for him, he finds himself just down the street from a mechanic. So, he
pushes his car to the shop and asks the mechanic to take a look.

The mechanic tells him that it will probably take a little while to find the
problem and asks him to come back in an hour.

The penguin goes over to the supermarket, buys some frozen fish sticks and
some vanilla ice cream for lunch, and spends the rest of the hour hanging
out in the frozen foods section.

After the hour is up, he waddles over to the mechanic's shop. Seeing him
come in, the mechanic walks over, and wiping his hands on a rag, says,
"Looks like you've blown a seal."

The penguin blushes, wipes his beak with his flipper and says, "No, it's
just vanilla ice cream."