www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Realman K.......bottom line, what would you tell your 20 year old son to do?

I bet you would tell him to get some 'distance' and FAST! I will let you figure out why you would tell him that. As an ex-cop I am sure you are street wise enough to figure things out.

R-K
She obviously is giving you something that you need/yearn for. You should either play it out or kill yourself. Or maybe do both.
What you are going thru is why us GFE guys go to CR. We live for the drama that we only can get from young beautiful women. The pain is so sweetly removed thru our penis' and everything is good.
If you over-analyze, you lose.

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Why Chicas Come to CostaRica:

"Predators gather where prey abounds"

If you like the drama, as Scubabum seems to, then hang in there and play this out. I've been there and have also watched lots of guys live through it. Pretty much always ends the same way.

These types of economic differences create an imbalance in the relationship that is very difficult (don't jump me...I didn't say impossible) to surmount. Very similar to trying to have a relationship with your secretary. Can be fun for a while, but the power differences eventually take their toll on the relationship in one way or other. The 2 of you are just not playing on the same field and that nearly always catches up to you sooner or later.

I've been with a Tica for 3 years now. We've had serious ups and downs, as in any relationship. But she has never asked me for money or even once given me a sob story. She's a professional person, owns her own house free and clear, and earns a good living for CR. She has needed money a couple of times, but she has gotten a loan from parents or a brother and then just told me that she did it, never even seeking anything from me. And she takes me out to dinner nearly as often as I take her out. The only problem I have is that I occassionally have to tell her that she's acting too much like a gringa!

If you like drama, cool. If you prefer to live without it, just search out someone that is a bit more your equal who can share life with you instead of suck it out of you.

FWIW,
CRFan

I have always believed that there is a fine line between love and hate. In relationships of love...many of us cross back and forth many times. I have the time and the distance to play this to the end and I guess I will. At this point it is only "looking" bad. As in todays other posting about letters from chicas asking for money.....I hope that at some point I will evolve until I see the humor in it. Like when she meets me at the airport on my next trip....I kiss her hello and goodby and then walk away with a different beauty. Haven't gone that far yet...but I think you can tell that my wheels are turning. What do you think...should I buy the college uniform for her roommates 18 year old daughter. She went nuts when I gave the girl 5 mil as a navidad gift.

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My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming...." MAN....WHAT A RIDE!!!!"

What good is a Chica if she can't

" Suck the life out of you ??? "

Just , Nucknfuts

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Throughout the history of mankind there has never been one shred of evidence that supports that life is serious..........
Don't believe everything you think ............

SCUBABUM: Can you meet me under the Snake Creek bridge down in Islamorada. We can dive for some "bugs" and then cook em over an open fire while we talk this thru. I have an extra appliance carton for you to sleep in.

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My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming...." MAN....WHAT A RIDE!!!!"

I thought the point of this thread was to learn something. No offense my friend but if you have to ask us the answer to such an obvious question then you really are just asking for trouble.

Why should you pay for anyone other than your chica? Hell why should you give your chica money? doesnt she work? Yes i do understand that in this life with poverty not every job can pay enough to make ends meet but for the love of god man! It seems like you give and give, have you really gotten something back for all your investment?

It seems like your the type of person who hopes things will work out. Well hope doesnt make the world go round. I could hope that i won the lottery so i wouldnt have to bust my butt working but im not going to hold my breath.

Like i said earlier. Either you make a solid commitment to this girl or you wash your hands.

Let me give you another word of advice from someone who has dated latinas all his life. These women are used to forcefull men. Men who put their foot down and wont be taken advantage off. Not assholes (although they do often confuse power for abuse). If you show weakness they will eat you alive. If their is an advantage they can take belive me they will take it.

Im not saying they do it purposely (although some do) but subconciously they are trained from an early age a savage sense of survival no matter the cost. So you have to decide are you a Lion or are you lamb waiting to be slaughterd.

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I am only trying to inject a little humor into my own pain. Yes I care deeply. Yes, she knows it. She knows that I am 5 years from early retirement age, and that I plan to move to Costa Rica and want a permanent relationship.That I dread the walk of pain from taxi to airport entrance where we both cried together. Yes, she asked if I loved her very early on and I honestly responded that in my culture ..you wait until you know someone better before you declare love....but that I like her very, very much. I explained that I can tell you love or show you love. Which do you prefer? She said that she prefered me to show her love. Once we were a couple, as she had asked, I have refrained from seeing other girls especially at Del Rey. OK..I went to ZB one day while she was at work and regretted it. I have treated her and her Ch*ldren with the utmost respect and kindness always inquiring of the Ch**drens welfare in my calls and emails. When I am with her Ch*ldren, I pay attention to them and play with them. Yes, I compliment her on her beauty and am just as attentive after the love act as before. Yes, she knows that I love to give her pleasure when we are intimate. And last but not least...I am intending to take a firm hand with the situation. It will be her choice.

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My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming...." MAN....WHAT A RIDE!!!!"

RealmanK...your situation is something many of us has been able to relate to at one time or another. Where I relate to you is your obvious trend of being a "caretaker" in this relationship. You care about her, you want to rescue her, you want to make her happy...and probably selfishly...you want her to adore you and be grateful...after all, YOU have to get something out of this also. I have 2 ex wives I did this with .

We all have to make our own adult decisions in these situations, but your multiple comments on this thread tell me you are still confused about this relationship...where many of us probably arent...because we're not involved and can be more rational than emotional.

Living down here for 3 years has taught me some interesting things about our own sex...one main thing being how "emotional" we guys are down deep. Our culture teaches us to deny it, but yet most guys I have observed here are sensitive, caring guys who beyond sex are really trying to have a real intimate experience with women here. The only problem most of us run into is the lack of parity when it comes to finances, culture and communication. There are many barriers to real relationships with most of these women here even beyond the 3 just mentioned. In most cases there is significant age difference also. Any of us who have had long term relationships or marriages know the challenge of keeping things fresh and interesting with someone of our OWN culture or income level. But in my opinion, when someone comes from a completely different background, religion, income level or culture...it is next to impossible to have what we are really looking for. Most of these women just have no clue how to give it or be it. They dont have the education or background for it. So in many ways, these relationships become more "parternal" in nature where you are daddy (usually "sugar daddy"), and they are the needy little girl you always wanted to look up to and respect you. Most of these women we meet here have never had a reliable "daddy" growing up. NOw, if this works for you, thats great. But I think in the end, most of us want someone who stimulates us, challenges us, pushes us to be the best we can be. It is hard to get this from such a foreign culture and for sure with language barriers. I think many of us end up in these situations because it is just EASY to get involved and find meaning in it because they NEED us...versus biting the bullet, spending time alone, and remaining available for that which we REALLY want.

This is starting to sound like psychoanalysis , So let me just summarize to encourage you to look more inside YOURSELF at what you want and why you are spending time with this woman. Then, consider the qualities of the most glamorous, intelligent woman you have ever known or fantasized about...and ask yourself why you haven't or didnt pursue THAT. Not trying to discourage you if you truly want this situation, but I just cant imagine this situation being good in the long term....probably for either of you...

just my opinions here...

"TMAN" Landers (Ann was my great aunt )

RealmanK-
I hope it's a thick box. Nights have been cold lately.

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Why Chicas Come to CostaRica:

"Predators gather where prey abounds"

TMan..you know you are the man. But, on this particular issue, I must respectfully disagree. I have had 2 LTR's with Asian women. I was with a Filipina for almost 10 years. She was born and raised in Angeles City, married a Filipino man and moved here at age 27. He was USAF, they divorced and we got together thereafter. What I enjoyed most about the relationship was the differences in culture. I enjoyed going to Filipino restaurants, gatherings, parties and cultural events. It was all new to me. I think differences can be a big plus in a relationship.

dapanz1

PS. Don't think this is my last post in this thread! I just need to collect my thoughts.

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Paradise= Sitting outside the Bodega in Panama City about 1 am. Drinking cool Balboas with cool friends and blazin' hot Colombianas. I want to be there..RIGHT NOW!

Dapanz...I sit corrected . My intent was to say the COMBINATION of those factors makes long term relationships difficult. Yes, there are many successful cross cultural relationships...but if you add that to age difference, economic backgrounds and religious differences...my personal experience and observations have been an over 90% doom rate. Dont call me the "grim reaper" now ...

I concur. (Tman...excellent synopsis/analysis in your previous post by the way). RealmanK...are you a gambler or a more conservative person?
Tman is correct in his percentages. Over 90% of those kind of relationships fail. For every successful one, there are perhaps 11 or 12
that fail. Not good odds! Take it from someone who's 'been there and done that'...I was in much the same situation as yourself. Lasted over two years. I finally realized what an idiot I was and ended it. You will not be in a relationship with the chica, you will be in a relationship with her entire family. As Tman put it so succinctly, it will be more or less a paternal/'ch*ld' relationship. She may want to move to the US, but a
short while after doing so, may become homesick for her family and desire to return to her native country. The differences are not insurmountable, but the odds of a meaningful long-term relationship
are very low. If you like risk, have deep pockets, and have more patience than 95% of most Gringos, then 'go for it'. You have been warned.

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"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile, and the rest of us are phucked until we can put our acts together; not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely"...Hunter S. Thompson (RIP)

Realmank

I think yout post provides a look into the soul of a lot of guys that come to Costa Rica. They are looking for a lot more than setting the record on how many chicas they can bang in a trip.

Obviously, you are looking for more than that and you took the risk by asking her out on a date in the first place.

I have a Tica GF and I am very happy with this relationship. However, I must point out several major differences.

1. She never asked me for anything.. period
2. She does not hang out with DR chicas or other bad influences
3. Her home life is not disfunctional
4. We spent a lot of time together before we decided to make this
relationship exclusive.

In my opinion, she is in a desperate situation and will do what she has to do to survive. If it means, working at the DR or the same, so be it.
She also has come from an abusive background which is also a negative.

Your odds are extremely slim that you will be able to have a functional relationship with this women. As much as I hate to tell you this, you need to move on and try to find the right one.

TMan,
This is one of the best posts I have ever read on one of these boards. I too can speak from experience....I married an extremely young, hot, poor, uneducated girl from Barranquilla Colombia. It is so true about how taking on a relationship such as that becames a paternalistic affair, so much so that often it sucks the romance right out of the relationship.