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In most cases, I really dont blame the Babi*s as long as the parent they are with are doing everything possible to calm them down or just do something to keep them from constantly crying/screaming. I understand its not the Babi*s fault.

The ones i can't stand are the parents that have total disregard for others in the same cabin. Those parents that continue chatting or watch movies while their Babi*s are out of control.

When I see this scenario with these clueless parents It makes me want to sit next to them and shit myself and pretend to be sleeping. Lmao!

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I can't help you with the trampoline but for Babi*s crying/screaming there is an easy solution: noise-canceling headphones with foam earplugs if the headphones won't do the complete trick. Just flip the little switch. You'll be amazed at the difference. You can block out most ambient noise and actually hear the music or movie.

One time I was listening to my own music and an irate FA told me to "TAKE THEM OFF" as I had missed the low-volume announcement that we were on final for landing.

I love mine. Got a refurb and they were just like new. Come in their own little kit with a pocket for extra batteries, adapters, etc. Best $90 I ever spent (3 years ago). Now they're down to $74 for NEW ($46 for a refurb).

http://www.amazon.com/Sennheiser-Active ... 146&sr=8-4

As for where to sit, having elite membership also gives you access to "Preferred Seating" (i.e. up front in coach or exit rows or aisles) even if you don't get an upgrade. As soon as I make a reservation I go online and select the seat I want. I also check the seats a couple times before the trip "just in case" there has been any changes.

When I get to the airport I also double-check the gate assignment and again when I get to the concourse. ATL has a bad habit of changing gates and it can be a long hike to get to another gate, especially if they change concourses on you.

The other side of the coin., and a comment about crying little ones:

First off, even a ch-star-ld without any ear infection will be adversely affected by cabin pressure changes. Their little ear canals, Eustachian tubes etc. cannot accomodate changes in inner-ear pressures. The answer is to gently stroke downward on the neck below both ears, thus pulling open the ear canal a bit. I have actually demonstrated this to weary Moms with crying little ones, and mostly have been rewarded by a quieter ch*ld and a grateful Mom. Secondly, I always praise the k*ds for being good.

Sometimes it's not youngsters who are the problem. I have been repeatedly assaulted over numerous flights by inconsiderat fellow travelers, seat kickers, elbow-crowders, non-stop talkers, and the worst...people who don't give a damn about personal hygiene. You can always ask the flight attendant to move you elsewhere (if a seat is available.

Hint: You're more likely to be moved into First or Business class if you wear a jacket and tie, good shoes, and non-denim trousers. Even if you're not flying on business, appearances matter both to the airline and to other passengers in the front of the plane.

As a last resort, you can always start a conversation like this:

"Boy, am I glad to finally be out. I'm going home to see my Mommy. Yeah, the hospital wasn't so bad...they have crats. Do you know about crafts? They let me out of my cell long enough to weave a basket (demonstrate basket weave with fingers, grinning psychotically. Allow a trickle of drool to fall from the corner of your mouth).

"Airplanes scare me. If I start to twitch, you might want to remind me to take my medications. I love my medications. The voices aren't so bad...." You get the idea. Trust me, your seat mates will get real quiet, real quickly.

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Pura Vulva! Wandering through the dark, I am El Ciego.