NBC is banking on strange remake here of 'Gilligan' By the A.M. Costa Rica staffThe U.S. network NBC plans to send 10 so-called celebrities here to brave the Costa Rican jungle and be afflicted on command by various tribulations delivered long-distance by viewers.
This was the show that was supposed to star the defrocked governor of Illinois. But the judge would not let him out of the country. So his wife has been nominated. It's called "I'm a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here!
It's not quite clear to what jungle they are headed. Not many places in Costa Rica are more than a 10-minute walk to a cold Imperial.
Presumably maurading bands of white-faced monkeys will torment the visitors while they keep on the lookout for lions and tigers and bears.
The fact is the most dangerous animal in the country is the crackhead cell phone street robber. But they mostly are not in the jungle. NBC must have been thinking of the upper Amazon or Africa. Or maybe our own Jurassic Park.
A little more than three years ago the then-environment minister was assaulted and mugged in the Parque Nacional Corcovado by a mama danta or tapir. She knocked him into the middle of next week when he approached her K*ds, and he was lost for three days.
That jungle is so dangerous that nothing else happened to the stricken politician.
The NBC crew could choose the high Talamanca instead. Then the celebrities would have to watch out for members of the Syndicato Nacional de Productores de Marijuana who kind of dominate that section of Costa Rica. And it may turn out that after sampling some of the local product the celebrities may not want to be gotten out of there.
The celebrities: Stephen, Sanjaya, Torrie and lovebirds Heidi and Spencer. Costa Rica's mosquitoes are anxious to meet Torrie.
Of course, an evening swim in the RÃo Tarcoles is not recommended. There are dangerous areas and four-meter crocs. But most are so well fed from tourist guides that a bony celebrity would not be inviting.
Seven participants already have been chosen. They include, according to promotional material, World Wrestling Federation pro Torrie Wilson, American Idol wannabe Sanjaya Malakar, acting duo Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, model Janice Dickinson, former NBA player and full-time vegan John Salley and Stephen Baldwin, known for his 18-inch biceps.
You can't make this stuff up. Three spots still are open, according to the show
Web site. Gilligan and Mary Ann could not make it. The premier will be Monday.
There is a chance that a local television station is planning a competing show: "I'm a Tico! Get me out of here." They are reported to be enlisting 10 Costa Ricans to drop them unannounced into downtown Chicago. What Tico could stand the icy wind roaring off Lake Michigan for long.
For that matter, why would anyone NBC sends ever want to go back to Chicago in the first place. Maybe they should rename the show: "I'm happy as heck. Just leave me alone."