Okay, you're about to make your first trip into the land of milk and honeys. You're excited about dipping into a little Latina action, trying local foods and beverages, maybe even getting out of Gringo Gulch and looking around this beautiful little country, which is only about the size of the state of West Virginia. You've got your passport, your lubes and condoms. You've voraciously consumed post after post here on CRT.
Now please heed the following warning.
DANGER
I don't care who you are, what kind of sexual experiences you've had in the past, how street-smart you are or how good your game is.... after this trip,
YOU WILL be phucked forever.
The addiction takes hold the minute the doors close and the jet bridge is pulled away from your plane leaving C.R.
You'll get home, filled with great memories that will prompt you to tell everyone you know about. Don't do it.
You will sit up nights, unable to sleep, thinking about the hot spinner that ground your beef to a Reggaetone tune. You'll smell the perfumes the girls wear. You will suddenly crave an Imperial (which IMHO isn't very good beer, but it IS Costa Rican).
You'll start looking at your bank accounts and work schedule, trying to find time and money for a quick return.
You'll become agitated, restless, bored. A mild but persistent depression may set in, as you look at the gringas around you.
You will lie to your spouse or girlfriend, or at least to your boss. If you smoke, your consumption will double for awhile. You may drink more, trying to drive down the longing.
In short, you will behave like any addict in need of a fix.
I make this warning not as a joke, but as a serious caveat. Know before you even take your first trip: Even if you only have a marginally good time, you will be addicted.
Don't think it will happen to you? Yeah, so did I. I thought I'd be immune; a quick and fun experience, and then I'd move on. In a couple very short weeks, I became addicted to Latina poosie, Centennario rum, Pilsen beer, gallo pinto, ceviche and the companionship of good fellas of CRT.
Five years later, and the addiction still hasn't eased. If anything it's gotten worse.
So, please go into your first trip with the knowledge that you're flirting with a lifelong addiction here.
I wish you luck and safety. Enjoy your trip.
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