It's like this and like that...

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:50 pm

Observations from the battleground: A great gathering of mongers was on hand over El S B-Day Bash Weekend. It was a great opportunity to observe, contrast and compare and that is what I did.

A salute to The Brotherhood who make up the majority of the party goers, in my opinion. These are the guys who know each other on sight from previous bacchanals and who meet to have fun with friends and friendly partners, new and favorita alike. Salute!

Then are the guys who have been there, done that, and have slipped into a mellow groove of frequent trips and known partners here in San Jose. Not that the other groove is somehow inferior, party on Brothers! It's just that this particular groove is a comfort zone with a little more stability and history. I bring it up because it is one attainable option for many who have the time, disposition and desire.

One of my monger buddies, for example, has found a girl who suits him. No, this is not another "love story", you can relax. He does not get all starry-eyed at the mention of her name and she does not dominate his conversations. He just likes her and likes the time they spend together and so does she. They are not "exclusive" but treat each other with respect by not flaunting their freedoms in front of each other.

He would find the idea of an RFM laughable. No, he is not some macho stud. He is a nice guy who looks good for his age, obviously takes care of himself and always comports himself as a gentlemen. He pays for TLN about what most would pay for an hour, on the nights he pays.

You might think this is an anomaly but I know of many who have similar arrangements, some change partners occasionally and some have had relationships for years. Yes, there is still money exchanging hands but not nearly as much as attempting to lasso a new ride every night and there is something nice about a girl who already knows what makes you crazy.

Caveat: This is not for everybody. It might be for you if you have had success getting good performance from the ladies but would like a little more intimacy along with your nut and a little stability, however fleeting.

It is not for you if you don't spend probably a month a year at minimum in country. It is not for you if you can't deal one-on-one, mano-on-bruha, with the finest phuck you ever met without puking cash. If you are "looking for love" you eliminate yourself as a candidate.

However, if you can deal with a-day-at-a-time without falling off the edge and can clearly communicate your expectations and, most importantly, you understand the importance of "no", it may be feasible for you.

Oh, and you probably won't hear from most of the other guys who are partaking as described. They don't want to waste time defending themselves. That does not mean that other options aren't available for the right person with the right motivation, attitude and time.

Livincr · **Joined:** Tue May 29, 2007 10:58 pm **Posts:** 839

good read

Livincr · **Joined:** Tue May 29, 2007 10:58 pm **Posts:** 839

good read 55

Mucho Gusto · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:24 am

Pac55 - Well put! :wink:

DrForm · **Joined:** Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:03 pm **Posts:** 1651

Pacifica55 wrote:

One of my monger buddies, for example, has found a girl who suits him.

He pays for TLN about what most would pay for an hour, on the nights he pays.

You might think this is an anomaly but I know of many who have similar arrangements, some change partners occasionally and some have had relationships for years.

Caveat: This is not for everybody. It might be for you if you have had success getting good performance from the ladies but would like a little more intimacy along with your nut and a little stability, however fleeting.

Oh, and you probably won't hear from most of the other guys who are partaking as described. .

Pac that pretty much describes what i like to do on my trips.....I have a favorita in many ports....I find a great chica(wingwoman) and explore the city i'm in....I'll always sample other chicas but i prefer to spend a great deal of time with one!

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 1:35 pm

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I know most of us see a "progression" in monger activity, phases that are typical for most mongers. First, we try to phuck 'em all. Then we find a niche and explore that for awhile, a certain venue suits us or we seek a certain type of girl.

When we find that pure quantity wasn't getting it and "the perfect girl" or "the perfect party" was great fun but we've done that and just hanging with the guys lacks challenge. There must be other avenues to explore.

Pursuing a "standard" relationship has about as much appeal for many of us as Eel wrestling. It is self-defeating in that our freedom is probably the most hard won and valuable thing to us. That leaves us in a bit of a quandary since there are no clearly defined roles and rules between "dating", P4P or otherwise, and a "relationship" (shudder). So, what is it we want?

When I was with a girl I liked for more than just her beauty and skill in the rack (I would say 4 in 300, roughly) I didn't want her to leave just because the sexo was over and the sun was coming up.

More later, gotta make a run to escuela......(I'll 'splain later).

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:29 pm

Had to run her 6yr old to school. Not a burden as he is a gem. Sorry for the interruption...

So, I was happy hitting the top girls but wanted more and less: More intimacy, more time, more depth, more like a friend and lover and less like a "session", less time spent looking and interviewing, less down time and less outlay.

I found what I wanted: I won't list her attributes. They work for me but might not work for someone else. There is no need to state our arrangement. The important part is that you communicate clearly what your expectations of each other are and review them constantly. Aside from that, try to remain flexible and listen to what she does a little more than what she sez.

The 800lb Gorilla: As some of you already know, my novia and I are expecting almost any day now. This was the unexpected result of our getting sloppy with the condom after we had been together for a couple of months. I considered a vasectomy for years and just couldn't bring myself to do it. I am 57 and have no offspring and I guess that has always been in the back of my mind. I do not defend our actions at all. This Ch*ld will be loved and is wanted, but it is an unnecessary complication in a young relationship for both of us. Regardless of how she and I turn out, I will provide for my daughter happily, not even an issue. For me, this is not a catastrophe. I would never stay in any relationship for the sake of the offspring but it does help me have a little more patience.

If we could, I would like to keep this discussion about possibilities and outside-the-box relationships. Yes, there is a significant group who will be quick to say that I am being "played', that she intended to get pregnant, that I will end up alone and miserable without my stuff. Guys, you may be right. I don't think so and I have plenty of evidence to support my opinion. It would be a waste of time and bandwidth to list that evidence so, please, can we leave at "you may be right" and you can reserve the right to say "I told you so." Thank you.

Gringo Malo · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:20 pm

Senor Pacifica55: Congratulations on your anticipated new arrival. Mine was born in Alejuela in December 07. At 59 years old, the last thing I wanted was a K*D. Well, now some of my grandkids have an uncle who is 16 years their junior. He is here, healthy, people stop you on the street and compliment handsome and the happiest baby, I have ever seen. Also, as an american citizen and in the event of my death, he along with Social Security survivor benefits will insure that my girl and her other 2 K*ds will live a comfortable life. When she called and said, we are pregnant; I was 18 kinds of pissed off for the next 9 months. AT SJO, 12 days after his birth; he was plopped into my arms. Nothing has been the same since and I wouldn't change for all the world. For you nay sayers.....the DNA test was done in the US....and he is 99.9888888% mine. I tease her and ask....who's the other guy. For that, I get a "Gringo Malo ". I hope you embrace and enjoy. The cup is half full.

Nhhank · **Joined:** Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:32 pm **Posts:** 3399

Pac55
Now you got me all mixed up
I am becoming the guy in your first post and I like it
I may be wrong but are you now giving a nudge to go for more

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:52 pm

Gracias, GM. Like you, I see more good than bad coming from this. Wouldn't have wished it this way but wouldn't change it if I could at this point. My girls are my girls.

Cujo's · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:58 pm

Great post Pac-

Being part of the younger generation of this board I've thought of this very thing. Makes me wonder how my outlook on things(mongering) will change as I get older.

It also makes me wonder if my style would change if I were in Medellin or dare I say Rio. Time will tell I guess...

Cujo

LAdiablo · **Joined:** Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:48 pm **Posts:** 4583

sounds like you are a happy man pac. good for you and good luck with your new family.
as far as listing the evidence you see that others don't why waste your time? so a bunch of bittermen can dissect your words and her actions? besides its between you and her.
as far as not having wished for this, i have to disagree. somewhere down deep we always want what we get imho.

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:10 pm

Nhhank wrote:

Pac55
Now you got me all mixed up
I am becoming the guy in your first post and I like it
I may be wrong but are you now giving a nudge to go for more

No, me amigo, I am not nudging at all. My point is that there are many "shades of gray" in this game. What fits one may pinch another.

No, I was commenting on the way people change and the options that are available. I described my situation for clarity. Find what you like and don't be surprised when it changes.

It makes me wonder how many times guys change monger destinations when the change is in themselves as much as in "familiarity breeds contempt".

LaDiablo - I agree with all you said and Evelyn and I thank you for your good wishes.

Pidd · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:03 pm

I have to agree

For me, Quality always wins out over quantity.

There are benefits in having a shared history in a LT relationnship as long as both parties understand the "rules"...

For us.. never forget that it is an illusion, even though it may seem very real... the reality is like oil & water... 57 and 24 don't mix.... you can shake things up well and they appear to combine for a while, but given time... they naturally separate...

Enjoy it for what it is ...but don't loose sight of the illusion...

BTW... this isn't theory...just actual experience of an almost 2 years "relationship"....

Peace

PIDD

Gringo Malo · **Posted:** Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:48 pm

Well, Pidd is half right. Quality does win over quantity. It never ceases to amaze me that, no matter what the facts are; some think every woman in Costa Rica is only with a american for one reason; that being money. Individual experiences are just that, individual. In my case, we have now been together for well over 4 years. If anyone cares to go back into the archives, she gave me a ton of trouble. Over time she has matured and learned. She sees the love and devotion that her Ch*ldren and I have for each other. She knows where the rent and grocery money come from. She listens to the Ch*ldren everyday as they tell others, mi papi this and mi papi that.She knows what the Ticos want from her. We are very sexually compatable and love to talk with each other. I respect any guy that doesn't want any emotional commitment, but what do they have against someone that does. Just because it isn't for you, doesn't mean that it isn't for anyone.

www.CostaRicaTicas.com

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