Infidelity & Latino Culture

Junky11 · **Posted:** Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:01 pm

When I discuss chicas with a lot of Latino men, it seems like they just talk about cheating so incredibly casually. Some Asian cultures are the same way. Except for Jerry Springer, non-latinos in the states, generally, don't admit it so easily.

There was some big macho man society in Columbia that gives an annual award for the macho man of the year. Once they gave away the award to the first ever and only non-Columbian --Bill Clinton. You got one guess why.

A friend of mine from Argentina used to rant on about her father and Latino men in general when she found her father had a mistress. At one point her father invited her to go out with him and his mistress! She was pissed.

It seems like Latino men have a code about not telling no matter if they're friends or enemies. Or does the secret get out too often and then the wives just put up with it? Among the Thai, if the man was cheating just for the sex, the wife tends to tolerate it --but if he cheated for love the wife might kill her husband.

I don't pretend to be an expert on Latino culture. Am I off the mark?

JazzboCR · **Posted:** Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:35 pm

From what little I know, Junky11 is on the mark not just about Latino or Asian culture but histoically at least of the upper classes of Western cultures and may be the reason (I'm getting into deep water here) Muslim's are permitted multiple wives. That bit about "for sex, it's OK; for love, NO-K" rings true.
Higgamous hogamous, women are monagamous
Hoggamous higamous, men, polygamous
There have been only a few cultures where polyandry is the norm and usually due to peculiar local conditions; there have been many, many where polyamy was the norm.

Cujo's · **Posted:** Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:51 am

Telling on a guy who's having an affair is a no-no. It can be your best friend or mortal enemy it doesn't matter. This extends beyond the latino culture and should be a defacto rule among men abroad.. :idea:

I'm not married and don't have a gf, but still keep most of my stuff on the DL. It's not about lying to the girls as much as getting them to be ok with it..

Cujo

Jazz Musician · **Joined:** Wed Aug 27, 2003 8:22 pm **Posts:** 1188

George Reeves (the original Superman) had a lover, Toni Mannix. Trouble is, she was married to MGM executive Eddie Mannix, a thug of sorts, and it may have cost Superman his life. Some say it was suicide, others thought it was Eddie, and still others think it may have been Toni after she learned of Reeve's new lover, Lenore Lemmon. In the early days Reeves and Toni Mannix would join Eddie and his Japanese girlfriend for double-date dinners. What it all comes down to is what is communicated, how, and when.

I think latin men are probably more egregious in their crudeness, but many societies including American society has its fair share of brazenness. The question is how is it handled and how do the two people involved define cheating. That is open for negotiation before you get too serious.

My girl has 3 requests of me; no love or bareback, and nobody else in our apartment. But separate traveling is wide open, as are threesomes. I suppose advertising that here is not so much different from those latin men you speak of. Then again, I would never entertain rubbing her nose in it.

What's the point?

BigBambu · **Posted:** Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:31 pm

Jadcujo wrote:

I'm not married and don't have a gf, but still keep most of my stuff on the DL.

Jazz Musician wrote:

Then again, I would never entertain rubbing her nose in it.

A man can live a life on his own terms with a minimum of BS by simply following this advice.

JazzboCR · **Posted:** Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:04 pm

To further demonstrate the point Brother JazzMusician was making about George Reeves, see the excellent, reasonably accurate 2006 movie, Hollywoodland, starring Adrien Brody, Ben Affleck and Diane Lane with Bob Hoskins playing the thuggish Mannix.

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:32 pm

Infidelity is much more openly accepted in Latin cultures than in the US. That is not to say that there is more infidelity, just that they are a lot more accepting of the fact that it will happen.

It seems that the basic understanding is that you don't embarrass your spouse. Keep it on the down-low, so to speak.

It is a power game. Women don't want their friends running to them telling them that their man is being indiscreet. Latinas relate love and jealousy: If I love him, I must show it by being insanely jealous of any and all other women he comes in contact with. Telling them that if they really loved him and were confident in his love that they would haul in the jealousy is a new concept to them.

In summary, there are three ways to go:

- Be faithful (yeah, right).
- Be a lying cheat (the most often chosen path to destruction).
- Be completely honest from the git-go and be very clear and firm about your expectations and hers.

Good luck.

Haywood Jablommi · **Posted:** Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:34 pm

I lived in Japan for four years and the men are similar to latinos. The wives and girlfriends generally have no major problem with their man sleeping with other women. An affair that involves feelings however is grounds for extreme trouble.
The interesting thing is that when Japanese women date foreign men they tend to expect you to be totally faithful since they believe that is our culture. I simply responded by saying " we are in Japan now and I intend to follow your customs while here." That was generally followed by yelling and me showing them the door. They watch too many of our movies and expect that fictional chivilrous behavior.
The japaness are the least monogamous people I have yet encountered in my travels. The men tend to phuck hostesses in clubs and bars and the women phuck their.....oh I dont know.....English instructor!

JazzboCR · **Posted:** Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:37 pm

And if you believe this one Japanese porn clip I saw recently, the head nurse will demo the proper BJ technique to her students on a guy in a coma.

Puro Party · **Posted:** Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:25 am

For bringing to light "cheating" on a friend of course never but for an enemy hell yes but only under the condition that they provoked it in some way. Say flaunting something to me and/or discussing my personal matters or insulting me even via a 3rd party with someone else then the flood gates a open. I won't bring it on but if it brought on to me the Karma will pay itslef back easily.

So moral to the story is the wonderful Golden Rule. jajajajaja

I have a co-worker who is my friend and he is hell bent on cheating on his wife as often as possible but no way I'd ever bring it up at work even if he crossed me a little. Now to cross me a lot a different story altogether. I still wouldn't bring up until provoked. Anyways on a side note he was in Vegas recently and even was trying to score while his wife was around the corner with the slots. Amazing!

Sandino · **Posted:** Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:06 pm

One thing I've noticed about Latinas is that when they find out their novio is cheating on them, they are usually much more pissed off at the other woman than they are at their novio.

El Ciego · **Posted:** Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:00 pm

Sandino, I suspect that is because latinas accept the nature of men, and as Jazzbo quotes above, men are polygamous by nature.

I think there is a sound biological reason for men's tendency to seek multiple partners. We are fertile 24/7/365, while a woman is only fertile 5 days per month. Think about it. We can better propogate the species if we can mate with multiple females.

In practicality, most educated people I have met, men and women are capable of distinguishing between an outside affair for sex and one for love. Most couples will tolerate emotional cheating without sex, or sexual cheating without emotion...but never both.

Nobody, regardless of cultural background likes to be made a fool. This is the principle reason that I monger. I will not rub Mrs. Ciego's nose in it, and therefore I will never again have a sexual affair in my little population 25,000 Minnesota town. I get the variety I need, the wife is cool with it both because I am away from home and because the liasons are about sex only.

Pacifica55 nailed it. If you want to play outside a dyad, your best policy is to be absolutely truthful and forthcoming with your partner. IMO.

Junky11 · **Posted:** Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:03 pm

Pacifica55 wrote:

Infidelity is much ...

- Be completely honest from the git-go and be very clear and firm about your expectations and hers.

Good luck.

That works if your woman is understanding.

There was a scientific study years ago that found that many types of sperm cells are dedicated to keeping other men's sperm cells form reaching the egg. You could see blocker sperm cells and killer sperm cells that act like antibodies on an electron micrograph. A sperm cell can live in a woman (if she doesn't bathe) for up to 5 days. Under what evolutionary conditions to this adaptation develop? Think. Humans are not naturally monogamous. Case Closed.

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:09 pm

Quote:

That works if your woman is understanding.

And that is why I say that choosing a woman is a sorting process. Too many men try to make themselves appear to be what the woman is seeking rather than showing their true selves and sorting through the women until they find a match.

Don't settle! :wink:

BigBambu · **Posted:** Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:42 am

Pacifica55 wrote:

And that is why I say that choosing a woman is a sorting process. Too many men try to make themselves appear to be what the woman is seeking rather than showing their true selves and sorting through the women until they find a match.

Amen, brother. I will be back at the SL tomorrow to reinitiate the sorting process! :wink:

And it sounds as if opportunities abound in this economic climate!

www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Infidelity & Latino Culture

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