Let me see where to start for both of you losers. This year, I am going to two different countries. Both take an absurd amount of time to get there but unlike you two pussies, I man up and take the flight.
As for the prediction that I get drunk, give money, and don't get laid well that is damn near impossible in Pattaya. I was doing 3 a days and it damn near killed me. Even the day I got sick over there and hit the pharmacy I went out and pulled this hot little Cambodian with huge D cups (natural) out of a gogo that I had barfined the night before. Sadly the previous evening I was slightly incapacitated (hammered drunk and I blame Midnight Rider for that) so my performance wasn't up to par. Since I could not drink that day.. well I rocked her world.

Now, when Big Daddy and Alanchar reads this they can attest to me having to do the walk of shame the next morning/afternoon with her carrying "doll". Yes, sober monger of the year award goes to me because I laid out like 500 baht for a freaking 3ft tall teddy bear so her and her roommate didn't have to share "doll" anymore. "Doll" had to sleep at the top of the bed in a place of honor and doing the walk of shame through a English Pub full of mongers while your girl from the previous evening carries out a freaking 3ft tall bear just sucks.
Does that qualify as a trip report now Paco? PR, I also have pictures of what others liked to call my crack whore. She was the ultimate spinner who actually fit into my suitcase. So while you two continue to return the HDR and various MPs around San Jose, I'll be enjoying some of the finer ladies of the Philippines and Thailand.
