Call me an opportunistic bastard if you must, but (1) I’m desperate to write off my trips as a business expense; and (2) hey!! those girls need assitance too. Therefore, I’m proud to announce that on my next trip I will be starting a service for some of the Del Rey working chicas called:
PagaPapi, S.A.
PagaPapi will be a tremendous collection tool for the girls with no fuss, hassle, or headaches from trying to write in English in a possibly vain attempt to get us to send them money…..WAIT!!!…..hear me out:
NO FEE... All the chica must do is get the email address from her Papichulo de la semana and come to the PagaPapi office. Give us his name, where he lives, and a couple of intimate details, AND LEAVE THE REST TO US…..
Once our retainer contract is signed, PagaPapi will immediately set up a file for the working chica including a bogus san jose address and phone number, a hotmail or yahoo email address, and client trust account. Me and my team of experts will then begin the stream of email messages to Papichulo to get him hooked. WHY ARE WE EXPERTS? because we've all been there received the letters, and some of us staffers have even sent money before....
NO WORRIES…..PagaPapi guarantees that all email messages will contain the necessary typos and grammatical errors to render these messages genuine. Here’s a sample:
“hola cariño como estas espero que bien yo pensandote mucho , tu cuando regresar a costarrica para llevarme para [PAPICHULO’S HOMETOWN] ok muchos besos tu [COLOMBIANITA, TICA, NICA, DOMINICANITA, ETC.] ok baby espero que me recuerdres como yo a ti quiero que me envies mas fotos ok chaoâ€
Once me and the other PagaPapi experts determine that the wide-eyed Papichulo is hooked, PagaPapi will then make the pitch on the working chica’s behalf: hit by a taxi and can’t work, baby needs medicine, mama is sick, whatever we can think of….
Any and all payments from Papichulo will then be deposited into PagaPapi’s client trust account and distributed to the working chica accordingly. IS THERE A FEE? All PagaPapi asks for is a small contingency percentage of Papichulo’s payments. HOW MUCH? It’s a sliding scale depending on certain Papichulo characteristics including, but not limited to, age, weight, attractiveness, marriage, economic status, etc.
THE BEST THING….if the working chica doesn’t get paid, we don’t get paid. In other words, to borrow an expression from some abogado friends:
“SI NO GANAMOS, NO COBRAMOSâ€
THERE’S MORE….The working chica will get use of the PagaPapi telephone for Papichulo’s calling-card calls…..a free calendar of all her Papichulo visits, and free file debriefings prior to all Papichulo visits to catch up on all Papichulo’s life events….
PagaPapi, S.A.
Ayudando putas desde 2004….
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