advise please - newbie to novias

JBntex786 · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 1:32 pm

I hesitated to post to this forum but it seems to be most appropriate - didn't want to admit that I might have fallen for the novia thing. Ihave to admit that I am no GQ stud - just a 50 y/o successful businessman recently divorced

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 1:41 pm

My advice is to have fun, but maintain realistic expectations. She will test you to see if you are man enough to tell her no and mean it. Do it the right way, with a little humor and no negative emotion, and she will gain respect for you. Capitulate and you lose her respect and become a doormat.

Guard your heart. Take nothing on face value. Remember that you cannot remove the wildlife from their native environment and you cannot have a "novia" unless you are here fulltime. You can have a hot friend in CR who is delighted to see you whenever you are here. What she does when you are not here should be of very little concern to you.

Good luck!

Chilimike · **Joined:** Mon Feb 07, 2005 1:27 am **Posts:** 2693

you are dating a whore = trouble for you !!! let it go !!! if you enjoy time with her pay for it and move on ....or better yet go back and read the 100's of posts how this dosnt work out !! this whole e-mailing and calling on the phone seems great at first (most of us have been though this) but when you hear the key largo band playing in the back round ...maybe you will come to your senses ...you are trying to date a whore and when she looks at you all she sees is money ....

Mucho Gusto · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 1:57 pm

JBntex,
My dos colones.....

Have fun, but don't take it seriously. It's nice to be flattered by a beautiful chica, but they are very good at it because it's their job. Enjoy your time with her while you're in CR, but you've got to understand (and accept the fact) that she'll be taking in miles of c*ck while you're not in CR.

I don't mean to be blunt, but you are probably not the only gringo that she's got on the hook. Don't send her money, and don't surrender your heart to her. See her and pay her for her services when you're in town. And when it starts to get old, move on to the next one.

I know you might think that "this one's different". But chances are - she's not! Never forget where you met her, and that it all started as a "business transaction".

MG :wink:

Spanky · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:16 pm

Mucho Gusto wrote:

you've got to understand (and accept the fact) that she'll be taking in miles of c*ck while you're not in CR.

Damn. Could you be more honest? :shock:

Mucho Gusto · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:19 pm

Spanky wrote:

Mucho Gusto wrote:

you've got to understand (and accept the fact) that she'll be taking in miles of c*ck while you're not in CR.

Damn. Could you be more honest? :shock:

My bad. But I didn't want to sugar-coat it. Maybe I should have said Kilometers instead ?!?!?! :shock:

Spanky · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:20 pm

Mucho Gusto wrote:

My bad. But I didn't want to sugar-coat it. Maybe I should have said Kilometers instead ?!?!?! :shock:

That is better since most can't convert kilometers to miles anyways it is not as painful to think about.

Just for the record, my girl is different! :lol:

Mucho Gusto · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:34 pm

Spanky wrote:

Just for the record, my girl is different! :lol:

Her adam's apple doesn't make her different. There are many others like her! :shock:

Sorry for the hijack JBntex. :oops:

Spanky... go back to work!

Now, back to Jbntex's quandry..... :roll:

Spanky · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:35 pm

Mucho Gusto wrote:

Her adam's apple doesn't make her different. There are many others like her! :shock:

DAMN PACO! He lied to me. :shock:

Witling · **Joined:** Sun Oct 12, 2003 4:50 pm **Posts:** 3822

JBntex786,
A couple notes before I go into my spiel.
1. You said she is Colombian, that means she is NOT a Tica. Ticas are girls from Costa Rica.

2. If she is from Colombia and working as a prostitute in Costa Rica she didn't get into the business by accident. She had to make a decision to leave her family and country to work in CR.

3. If she is not married to a Tico (a man from Costa Rica) there is a good chance she will either leave the country or be deported eventually.

Now for the spiel.
Many of us have made good friends with working girls. I have a couple in San Jose, a couple in Medellin and one in Bangkok. Yes, they are fun, loving and make you feel like a million bucks (I'm a few years older than you). Trust me when I say there is very little chance of it ever going further than a GFE/business relationship.

No matter how great it is in the beginning their true nature will show through eventually. Now it might not be that bad but you also have to ask yourself how long you want to tolerate it? If you can keep it in the proper perspective then there is no reason not to continue.

You have to decide what your level of "tolerance" is. When I say that I am talking about many things: Her job, her "needs" (financial, emotional, etc) or her family (they will ALWAYS come first). Sooner or later she may start taking you and your relationship for granted. Just be aware and be sure and read the signs when things start to go south.

These things might be when she will NOT be the sweet girlfriend you remember. She suddenly doesn't answer her phone. She can't see you for your entire trip. She needs a little extra money for one thing or another.

One of my lady friends in Colombia told me last week she wasn't seeing any more gringos. Last night we chatted for a few minutes on Yahoo. She asked me what the meaning of the word "overthink" was. Now I wonder where she came across that word? I asked her from who or where she read that word and all she said was (in Spanish) "It's only a question". Yeah, right, sure. The funny thing is, she does "overthink" things so I know it had to come from someone who knows her pretty well.

Probably just as well that she brought me back to earth since I will be seeing her in a few weeks (she doesn't know I'm coming yet) . We can go out, enjoy each others company, have great sex then I can leave without the emotional baggage. Yes, that is the hardest part but you will survive.

Enjoy your time with these ladies but protect your heart and your money.

Good luck
Wit

Rainman3 · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:52 pm

JBntex786 wrote:

I hesitated to post to this forum but it seems to be most appropriate - didn't want to admit that I might have fallen for the novia thing. Ihave to admit that I am no GQ stud - just a 50 y/o successful businessman recently divorced

Well , I've just returned from my latest fishing trip to CR. We landed in San Jose on a Thursday eve and then got a ride to Jaco on Friday. We stayed Thursday night at the DR, and I was doing my typical mongering.

When we got to Jaco, we walked over to the BeetleBar from the CopaCabana - no one appealed to me , but it was early in the evening. Leter that eve, I met a cute Columbian girl at the Copa bar named Paola. We hooked up and I paid for an allnighter - went fishing all day Sat and she joined me for dinner on Sat eve. It was interesting to notice that her attire was less "working" and more subtle sexy/datelike as the time progressed.

Long story short - she spent the rest of my trip with me - as time passed I paid her less and less. When we headed back to San Jose, she rode with us - i checked her in as my guest at the DR monday night. We went dancing - had a fantastic time. We met some friends of hers that night - she was quite possessive of me.

So , Tuesday , she insisted on riding with me to the airport to see me off - tears on her part,etc. We traded emails addresses and have been exchanging emails for a couple of weeks- doing Yahoo Messenger during the days some. She gave me her cell phone number and asked me to call her - I have Skype on my PC and it's cheap to call her. She asks me to call her daily - its averaging about 4 times a week.

So - no request for money yet - she just begs me to come back and see her sooner that I had planned. She has agreed to meet me in San Jose to avoid the trip to Jaco if I do a 2 day trip there this next month. She is actively working and there has been no conversation about her stopping her trade - by either of us.

So - if I made the trip to San Jose for a 2 or 3 day meeting - where would you recommend that I stay ? I would not be doing any mongering on this proposed trip - staying at the Del Rey seems dumb. I know that there are hotels that might not welcome my Tica

I keep waiting for the shoe to drop - anyone recognize a pattern here that I'm missing (except that I haven't been able to "catch and release" this one)? I have to admit the experience was very flattering and mucho fun - but am afraid to think in terms of having a novia... so help me out - lets hear your thoughts!

Brother,

First of all you put yourself at great risk being in any P4P enviorment being a recently divorced guy. You have already shown how susceptible you are to a GFE from a talented Colombiana. Get away from P4P for a while till you reach a point that you are totally healed from your divorce and are in a better position to handle P4P in a way that you do not get yourself hurt or taken advantage of.

If you must have extended time with a single chica than find a good latina who has never been involved in P4P. Soooooo many guys here try to turn hookers into REAL NOVIAs/ESPOSAs and it just does not hardly ever work.

Rainman3

Puravidatransport · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:52 pm

Witling wrote:

No matter how great it is in the beginning their true nature will show through eventually. Now it might not be that bad but you also have to ask yourself how long you want to tolerate it? If you can keep it in the proper perspective then there is no reason not to continue.

You have to decide what your level of "tolerance" is. When I say that I am talking about many things: Her job, her "needs" (financial, emotional, etc) or her family (they will ALWAYS come first). Sooner or later she may start taking you and your relationship for granted. Just be aware and be sure and read the signs when things start to go south.

This is about the best advice I've seen on Novias. YOU have to decide what you are willing to do to keep a relationship going. There is no right or wrong in that equation. It's all up to the individual person.

The key is, don't let the FEAR of a failed relationship STOP you from trying. Sure, it may go south as probably 99% of these type do. But you can't win without playing and if she perhaps IS that 1%, then by giving up before you start, you are already doomed.

Just make sure you go in with a plan for the 'worst case' scenerio. In other words, play it smart. Don't let her get the upper hand and take you for all you've got.

I'm a big proponent of the 'novia' thing here but even I would not suggest you get into a real relationship with a working girl if you don't live here. Only remedy there is to accept up front she WILL work when you aren't here...

Good Luck!!!

JBntex786 · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 2:58 pm

Many thanks to all of you for your frank and very true advise. This was a new experience this trip - spending all my time with one gal. I guess I expected the other shoe to drop and was waiting and wondering when it would happen. I'll just enjoy the experience for what it was and look fwd to having a "good friend status" there in Jaco for future trips.

BrownCow · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 3:10 pm

to be perfectly honest, you're good to go on enjoying a great time...

just be sure to keep that heart (and more importantly the wallet) guarded.

In order to answer your original question. I truly enjoyed Hotel Freebird to spend time with the novia...

If you want to spend megabucks, you can go to the Marriott, it's awesome, and not a monger in sight...

Another option is to just go out of SJ, and you can have a great non-monger time...

Hotels I've stayed at that were very pleasant were:
Oasis, Freebird, Clarion, and a few by the airport...

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 3:11 pm

Good attitude, JB. No need to limit contact or live in fear as long as you keep your head on straight. She really loves you....and me...and Mucho Gusto but we don't mind you tagging along. :lol:

Keep a good sense of humor and a firm grip on your heart and enjoy it for what it is. Believe all her lies but don't pay for the telling and maybe she will believe yours as well.

Good luck and keep it fun!

www.CostaRicaTicas.com

advise please - newbie to novias

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