Monger Psychology behind the novia desire

Puravidatransport · **Posted:** Wed May 14, 2008 3:21 pm

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Nucknfuts · **Posted:** Sat May 17, 2008 10:06 pm

Prostoner, totally agree with you...
And as for,

Quote:

Try walking a mile in her pumps before you come down so hard...

I have

And man-O-man they kill your feet.

But hey, they make my calfs sexy as Hell :shock:

The Nuck

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Prostoner wrote:

Four years at Harvard and you still write like a 6th grader??? LOL

As for your comments, these girls are for the most part, decent people who find themselves in an impossible financial situation and are trying to make the most of it.
There are others (two chicas from Brazil come to mind) who simply enjoy the work and the benefits it provides.
I just don't like the attitude of 'we are better than them' and referring to them all as bitches and whores. There are some like that and a lot more WE have made like that when 'bad apples' rip them off or treat them badly.
Try walking a mile in her pumps before you come down so hard...or at least get to know some of them outside the bedroom!
My personal experience, which has been well documented here, was falling in love with a working girl I met at the end of my first trip. Yes, her sex work has taken a toll on her. Made her hard with a fence around her heart like you wouldn't believe. But inside, she is actually a very good person and I'm still in love, married and live here now.
Will it continue to work out?? Who knows but after some great lessons from Pac, Ken, VegasBob, BKTuna and a host of others, things are improving as I take care of my business, keep my balls for myself and act like a MAN!
Way to many guys focus on what the girl did to them. But did you let her get away with it little by little? Did you turn into a love sick puppy?
What I'm trying to say is the MAN has to take care of his business. Don't let her have the power (and your balls). You do that and NO WOMAN can do a thing to you you don't give her permission to do to you in the first place!!

WOAHH!!! You ended up marrying a working girl from the BM who you met on your first trip???? I had to read that twice. :lol:

Puravidatransport · **Posted:** Mon May 26, 2008 12:27 pm

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Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Prostoner wrote:

Chi_trekker wrote:

WOAHH!!! You ended up marrying a working girl from the BM who you met on your first trip???? I had to read that twice. :lol:

Yes, and quite happy about it thank you... Why'd it take you so long to figure that out...must have posted that info at least 20 times by now. Been married over six months now.
Despite your opinions, it is possible to have a relationship with an ex-working girl. If you play it smart, keep your balls and at least give an effort to work thru the problems, you might be rewarded. It's definitely not for everyone but for me, it's worked out very nicely.
IMHO, it's a lot better than a non-working girl that now has your balls in a vice thanks to a little 'accident' :lol:

Sorry man.... have not been following your stories. Anyhow, I learned my lesson over 2 years ago. I also listened to senior members on the board about taking hookers beyond P4P. Its bizarre how there is this new generation of mongers that believes the novia concept is the norm, not the exception. What ever hapenned to the group of mongers that just wants to bang pu*sy and pay and be done with it?

I'm glad you are happy and wish you success.

The part I don't understand is how a non-hooker tica puts your balls in a vice and a former hooker doesn't. Can someone enlighten me there???

The other part I don't understand is where you need to have a giant set of balls in a relationship. You must be learning that from other guys who have promoted hookers and use kind of a "macho" attitude with their women. Yah know.... "Keep that bitch in her place" attitude. Maybe that works with ex-prostitutes, but I don't think that system works very well with a tica with an education, from an upper class, with a career.

Thirdworld · **Joined:** Tue Nov 09, 2004 11:07 am **Posts:** 4858

YEah, couldn't see that working with chicas in Escazu.. Always wonder what guys talk to the ex working novias about when not having sex... cartoons, cell phones, tantrums???? sounds like fun

Puravidatransport · **Posted:** Mon May 26, 2008 1:00 pm

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Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Prostoner wrote:

Chi_trekker wrote:

[What ever hapenned to the group of mongers that just wants to bang pu*sy and pay and be done with it?

The part I don't understand is how a non-hooker tica puts your balls in a vice and a former hooker doesn't. Can someone enlighten me there???

The other part I don't understand is where you need to have a giant set of balls in a relationship.

1) I was a monger like any other with 8 trips to Amsterdam under my belt. My first month here, I banged a LOT of girls. I was NOT looking for a relationship. Never even crossed my mind till I met my now-wife. I liked her a lot but also liked the country and the opportunities it presented. Returned for two months of Spanish school and spent the whole time with her. Fell in love and made a decision to return for good.

2) I was very smart about how I did this. No assets in my name, nothing she can use against me etc. I can walk away today and wouldn't have to do more than make a phone call to my lawyer to finish that off. She has absolutly NO power over me I don't give her (with my heart). A non-hooker gets pregnant and you are as screwed as you are with a working girl pregnant if not more so...

3) You need a giant set of balls because if you don't you will end up her dog, doing what she wants you to. You have to keep that power to yourself because if you give it to her, she will push you as far as she can and dump your ass because she has NO RESPECT FOR YOU.

There is a reason Ticos have evolved to treat their women in this manner...

4) I talk to my wife about everything. We are very well matched for interests, things we like to do etc. Just because a girl is an ex-working girl doesn't mean she isn't intelligent, well rounded and able to be as interesting as some high class, educated, career-minded Tica.

IMHO, all girls are basically the same despite differences in profession/education. If you think having a professional, educated girl is any different, I know a TON of guys who had that in the states and didn't work out so well.

In closing CT, your opinions are your own. Do what you want. But DO NOT try to run down others because their thoughts don't match your own. To each his own and no reason to come down on people because we don't agree with your views...

Okay this is directly towards you:

I don't need to hear any justification for taking p4p beyond what it is. 9 times out of 10, it ends in a disaster. This is practically a scientific fact not confined to CR, but Thailand, Brazil and just about any other monger destination. On this account, I have my opinion and you obviously have yours. I wasn't trying to come down on you, personally, and you may be the exception to the rule.

Concerning the "big balls" issue... I'm still confused. Isn't this chica the one that cheated on you with other gringos, prior to you and her living together. Wasn't that a warning sign? I don't get where your "big balls" attitude is even working???? If a girl cheats on me, I dump her and move on. Its that simple. In this case, I agree she is treating me like a dog. But, isn't the "big balls" move to kick her ass out to the curb and not let her back in?

You are being very public about your relationship and are stressing that "keep that bitch her in place" attitude actually works. It may be working for you now, but I don't see that working universally with every chica in CR. You are also stereotyping ticos by saying they all treat women the same way by using the "big balls" method. This is NOT PHUCKING TRUE. Although there is more machoism in CR than the states, that does not mean that, in every tico household, the man is keeping his bitch in place. This is especially true in upper class couples. But, it is also true for lower class couples.

Dude - you are posting publicly some generalizations about CR that are just way out of wack with reality. You have been here a whole year? Big deal. You are still new and exhibiting major "honey moon" signs. I flew down perhaps 20 times over the course of two years and finally found a way to live down here for two more years. So, I have a total of 4 years of experience in CR. Big deal!!! I have gone from loving CR, to hating CR, to feeling somewhat in the middle. I also listen and learn from people who have been here much longer than me.

Anyway, I don't know anything about you. I haven't read all of your stories. I have no reason to like or dislike you. I'm trying to put perspective on some of the bullshit you are saying, so the average reader understands fantasy versus reality in CR. Is not a virtual paradise where you can just snatch-up and reform working girls and live happily thereafter. The reality of CR is a completely different story.

TheMadGerman · **Joined:** Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:28 pm **Posts:** 705

I agree with some of what Prostoner has said.

Tica's do need a firm hand. Not a "keep the bitch in her place" hand, per se, but if you treat them like an equal they typically will not respect you for it, but will consider you weak and take advantage of you.

They like to complain about how the men treat them like shit, and by and large they do. There is some middle ground between treating her like you would a gringa and treating her like a tico does, and I think that middle ground moves around a lot.

Tico's in general will take advantage of weakness when they see it. It's not just tica's. You can see this everyday when you drive on the roads. Notice the motorcycles who skim around traffic. Notice how people will drive on the shoulders up to the toll booth and then cut in at the last moment. Notice how if you hesitate for even a second, people drive around you. This is indicitive of that mentality, and they see nothing wrong with it. A gringo thinks "Hey, I've been in line for 10 minutes, you can't just cut in" and gets mad, while the tico thinks "Oh damn, i gave them an opportunity to sneak in, my own fault".

This mentality also extends to personal property. If you allow someone to take your property, then they didn't really steal it. That's the way they think. That's why all the houses have bars on the windows (even in safe neighborhoods) and all the yards have tall fences with pointy spikes or barbed wire. If you were stupid enough to make it easy for someone to break in, it's your own fault in their mind.

In the tico mindset, whatever you can get away with is ok, within certain boundaries.

There are certainly a lot of honest tico's who won't take advantage as well. S\o while I generalize, i'm largely talking about a big subset of the population, not the entire population. I can't count the number of times i've had someone run after me with my change or an item i may have left behind at a restaurant, for instance.

There's just this big disconnect in ethics somewhere in the tico brain. Some things just don't route through the ethics center of the brain, while other things do

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

TheMadGerman wrote:

I agree with some of what Prostoner has said.

Tica's do need a firm hand. Not a "keep the bitch in her place" hand, per se, but if you treat them like an equal they typically will not respect you for it, but will consider you weak and take advantage of you.

They like to complain about how the men treat them like shit, and by and large they do. There is some middle ground between treating her like you would a gringa and treating her like a tico does, and I think that middle ground moves around a lot.

Tico's in general will take advantage of weakness when they see it. It's not just tica's. You can see this everyday when you drive on the roads. Notice the motorcycles who skim around traffic. Notice how people will drive on the shoulders up to the toll booth and then cut in at the last moment. Notice how if you hesitate for even a second, people drive around you. This is indicitive of that mentality, and they see nothing wrong with it. A gringo thinks "Hey, I've been in line for 10 minutes, you can't just cut in" and gets mad, while the tico thinks "Oh damn, i gave them an opportunity to sneak in, my own fault".

This mentality also extends to personal property. If you allow someone to take your property, then they didn't really steal it. That's the way they think. That's why all the houses have bars on the windows (even in safe neighborhoods) and all the yards have tall fences with pointy spikes or barbed wire. If you were stupid enough to make it easy for someone to break in, it's your own fault in their mind.

In the tico mindset, whatever you can get away with is ok, within certain boundaries.

There are certainly a lot of honest tico's who won't take advantage as well. S\o while I generalize, i'm largely talking about a big subset of the population, not the entire population. I can't count the number of times i've had someone run after me with my change or an item i may have left behind at a restaurant, for instance.

There's just this big disconnect in ethics somewhere in the tico brain. Some things just don't route through the ethics center of the brain, while other things do

I agree that the heavy hand is an absolute requirement for working girls and so-called retired working girls. But, you are talking about less than 1% of the female population in CR. To the non-sex-worker population, you are going to find that a heavy hand does not generally work.

To the tico population comments - I will agree that there is an absolute culture difference. Ticos do tend to be lazier and less preoccupied with money. To some degree, I envy this. They don' ever worry about anything. However, to come down as a tourist and hang out in monger spots and then to make a judgment of character, based upon the scum (both gringos and ticos) around you, is not a good way to judge the general population.

I also agree with the finders keepers, losers weapers rule. This is what you will find in poor neighborhoods, but not everywhere. I have left my iPOD or fanny pack several times on a machine at the gym. It is always in the lost and found behind desk the next day. I can't imagine that being the case everywhere, but it certainly happened in Escazu.

In my first years as a tourist and a little while after living here, I will admit that I thought they were mostly lazy thieves, and women beaters, because this is what all the gringos were telling me. You will also notice that this is what all the hooks say. Don't believe their crocodile tears. Its all a bunch of bullshit aimed at getting your sympathy.

In time, I've learned that they are plenty of good ticos in CR. Its funny, as time goes on, I'm begin to think that - as a percentage - there is a much higher percent of "good" ticos than they are "good" gringos living down here. CR tends to attract the scum of America.

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Prostoner wrote:

Chi_trekker wrote:

WOAHH!!! You ended up marrying a working girl from the BM who you met on your first trip???? I had to read that twice. :lol:

Yes, and quite happy about it thank you... Why'd it take you so long to figure that out...must have posted that info at least 20 times by now. Been married over six months now.
Despite your opinions, it is possible to have a relationship with an ex-working girl. If you play it smart, keep your balls and at least give an effort to work thru the problems, you might be rewarded. It's definitely not for everyone but for me, it's worked out very nicely.
IMHO, it's a lot better than a non-working girl that now has your balls in a vice thanks to a little 'accident' :lol:

I didn't even pickup on your meaning of this last sentence. Now I understand. HAHA very funny you little turd. After you spend more time in CR, maybe we will have another conversation about who is in a better spot, me or you. I know you think you found a princess and she is precious and special. Your history, which I have now read, shows the exact opposite. This women has treated you already like a pile of shit. You say you are happy, but I cannot even imagine what you consider unhappy. Must have been hell???

Moreover, you think you won some kind of trophy or something? Like you had to fight for her love???? Let me tell you Prostoner.... If I was a betting man, I would bet that your battle has just begun. Keep the board updated on your marriage. We are always up for drama and entertainment.

Puravidatransport · **Posted:** Mon May 26, 2008 11:34 pm

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Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Prostoner wrote:

Chi_trekker wrote:

If I was a betting man, I would bet that your battle has just begun. Keep the board updated on your marriage. We are always up for drama and entertainment.

We finally agree on something :oops:

No doubt it's gonna be a bitch because she does have some serious issues. She isn't perfect and yes, I've had some hell. But what I'm trying to get across to you and the rest of the board in general is Costa Rica is what you make it. You do NOT have to play it safe ONLY SMART.
You can walk the streets and marry a working girl. It will NOT be easy and it WON'T be fun some of the time. If you don't know what you are getting into and are not prepared, you can lose your shirt or life. But if you play it smart, prepare for the worst you do NOT have to let the fear of anything get in the way of the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know where this is gonna go and it could go bad in a hurry and I'll hurt for a while. It could be the ultima relationship I ever have, you just never know.
But I sure wouldn't miss the chance to find out simply because she used to be a working girl or I used to be a monger... And to judge people up front based solely on that with a couple of little :lol:

like you think it's so funny is crap IMHO.

Chi_trekker wrote:
WOAHH!!! You ended up marrying a working girl from the BM who you met on your first trip???? I had to read that twice. :lol:

Prostoner,

Like I said - I have no reason to like or dislike you. This will hold true providing you don't phuck up again and publish private information about me and a civilian (non-sex worker) on a public gentlemens site. Did that sink into your brain???

Okay - I seriously hope you have found the exceptional one. The princess. The one good and changeable working girl. The 1 out of 1000. And, its your life, not mine. However, I wouldn't pay a million dollars to be in your spot. You can call that fear mongering. I call it common sense.

IMHO she has already treated you like a weak piece of shit. You keep talking about riding her hard like she's some kind of young horse that needs "breaking-in." Let me try to phrase it this way... I'll quote a senior member of the board "In Costa Rica, these girls have the penis and we have the pu*sy." It took me several years during my tourist phase to figure that one out. You may learn that one when its way too late.

You seriously also need to step off your soap box about CR. You don't know shit about this country. The people that have spent enough time down here ALWAYS go through the "honey moon" phase. They fall in love with the country and with the women (or a woman). This always wears off usually between year 1 and year 2. It did for me and it did for countless others. I don't see how or why it will go any different for you. Then you have to really decide if you like it and can live down here.

Don't tell me your not in fantasy land!!! You just married a working girl, whom you met on your first trip less than a year ago. You married a girl 6 months ago, who was cheating on you 9 months ago. You are phucking knees deep in fantasy. You've also gotten a lot of BAD advice, which I assume is from people on this board.

I guess I'm dissappointed in gringos down here, which is why I have reacted the way I did. Several years ago, when I was planning my move, my goal was NEVER to come down here for any specific girl. My goal was to come down, monger for a bit, then find civilian girl to perhaps settle down. My expectations were high and after a year wasted with a civilian girl (my ex nightmare), who made me miserable, I finally found a good one. An upper class tica who can relate to me as an equal. We treat eachother with equal respect. Its not a whole lot different than any relationship I had in the states.

Was this easy? Phuck no. I still have my ex-novia stalking me. She is doing some really bad and crazy shit to try to distract me. I have no way to get a restraining order, so I just got put up with the prank phone calls and her following me around town like a little psycho. Its been a long time and you would think she would give up, but she is getting worse.

I also had to take risk and be patient. I had to date girls. I had to put up with shit like the girl at Cemaco that I caught in my medicine drawer stealing my money. It was hard, but IMHO anything worth anything, takes some effort.

Prostoner - I've gotten PMs from people, that know you, saying to just give up. You'll never get it. However, I hope that the general audience has learned a shit load from this thread.

Over and out!

Puravidatransport · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 12:47 pm

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Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Tue May 27, 2008 1:33 pm

Quote:

Concerning the "big balls" issue... I'm still confused. Isn't this chica the one that cheated on you with other gringos, prior to you and her living together. Wasn't that a warning sign? I don't get where your "big balls" attitude is even working???? If a girl cheats on me, I dump her and move on. Its that simple. In this case, I agree she is treating me like a dog. But, isn't the "big balls" move to kick her ass out to the curb and not let her back in?

You are being very public about your relationship and are stressing that "keep that bitch her in place" attitude actually works. It may be working for you now, but I don't see that working universally with every chica in CR. You are also stereotyping ticos by saying they all treat women the same way by using the "big balls" method. This is NOT PHUCKING TRUE. Although there is more machoism in CR than the states, that does not mean that, in every tico household, the man is keeping his bitch in place. This is especially true in upper class couples. But, it is also true for lower class couples.

Let me try to shed some light on the BIG BALLS issue. I think you may have the wrong perception, chi.

It is not about being a macho a-hole. It is about being stable and consistent in what will and will not be tolerated and this holds for any relationship, US or abroad.

In my humble opinion, the US concept of "equal in everything" is fatally flawed for the vast majority. Somebody has to be the final authority and most women do not enjoy that role, but will take it if the man does not assert himself.

Women want a secure nest and a strong provider. They challenge their men constantly (and subconsciously in many instances). This is their way of checking their status in the relationship, the same way a dog will constantly push to see that you are still the dominant "pack leader".

It is much more about clearly communicating expectations and maintaining consistent accountability. Complacency is the enemy and US males tend to "fall in love" and give way too much in proving it. In so doing, while he thinks he is demonstrating "love" he is capitulating to far too many of her demands. As he capitulates, he thinks he is bring her more in love with him when in actuality, she is losing respect for him because he can't tell her "no" firmly, consistently, and without undue emotion.

It is about maintaining your manhood, the aspect she was attracted to in the first place. There is no reason to disrespect her or treat her in a demeaning manner. Just stay firm and consistent and hold her accountable for her actions while remaining accountable for your own.

Off my box....

www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Monger Psychology behind the novia desire

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