www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I would like to solicit the membership for thoughts and opinions on who has a better chance of successfully reforming themselves and moving on to a healthy monagomous relationship.

As some here are aware I am bringing my pasita novia here very shortly. Our K1 visa has been sent to Bogota for final processing and in the next few days I anticipate receiving an interview date at the embasy for sometime in April.

Now my sweet Pasita is not nor has ever been involved in P4P in any way. She is a sweet, educated and works. She lives at home with her family and has no Ch*ldren and has never been married. I am 42 and she is 32. Women like this are plentiful in Medellin.

My Paisita has no reforming to do, but I on the other hand do! FYI, I have been involved in a happy marriage before for 10 years that came to an end when I discovered she was having an affair. I was a faithful husband and had no desire to cheat on my wife. We had a son together and to me cheating on one's spouse was kind of like cheating on your Ch*ld. I say this because the Ch*ldren are generally the ones to suffer when the parents cannot make a marriage work.

I have no desire to be mongering and married both. Yes I will miss it but I just do not believe regardless of the arguments put forth on this board that it is the healthy or right thing to do. I love my Paisita and she is so very sweet and I would not want to hurt her. I had a period where we had a spat and I hit a couple of casas last trip but the truth of the matter is that I regret it. Luckily for me I was not found out. It was a mistake I hope I can avoid in the future.

Once she arrives I will have 90 days to get married or she has to return to Colombia. Her family is great with the possible exception of her K*D brother. But what 19 yo K*D these days really is not a punk! I've enjoyed the comeraderie of CRT and I have enjoyed my mongering trips. I will still check in from time to time and update everyone about how it is going with my Colombiana transplant.

So there you have it gentleman! Darth Vader is making an effort to leave the "dark side" and come back into the light. Please no flaming and any real heartfelt advice on how to overcome the "sexual cocaine" habit will be appreciated.

Rainman3

Bro - my sincere congratulations and best wishes on your decision. As I've said before, you are one of the few who has actually put in the time and effort to "do it right" and hopefully that will pay dividends in the long run.

But speaking from personal experience, I can tell you it is definitely tough trying to make the transition from the "dark side". For me, it was especially hard since my ex-novia worked at a popular gulch hotel, so almost by necessity I was still exposed to that scene when I came down to visit her. And despite my best intentions, it's tough to ignore all that when you'd been so deeply immersed in it prior. Fortunately for you, that won't be an issue.

My best advice would be to ween yourself off of the board (though we'll miss your contributions) and just try to put mongering out of your mind as much as possible. Above all, don't make any of the details of your relationship public here or anywhere else - that would definitely show a lack of respect for your fiancee.

Once again - good luck - and keep in touch!

GR

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Check out http://weluvlatinas.com/ for the web's best info on the latin american monger lifestyle...

Rainman,

Good luck with that. I recently got a marriage proposal from a woman who I really like. I have been thinking about it hard, although I confess; my first thought was about all the future pu*sy I would have to give up.

But in the approximate words of Wilt Chamberlain "it is better to have one good woman, than 20,000 lousy ones..."

-PA

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-PA*

I am starting to suspect that there are a lot of guys who enjoy mongering, but really are looking to be in a relationship/marraige with a quality woman. No matter how much they try to jump into the no-strings-attached 3 different girls a day everyday monger lifestyle they inevitably find themselves gravitating more toward a novia type relationship. Being with one woman is much more natural for them. Some may ocasionally hit an MP for a BJ once every few months, but that is about it. The great thing is that these guys do that because that is what they want, and they don't feel like they are missing out on anything.

Then there is the other type. The type that if they found the most beautiful woman in the world, who was perfect in every way, after about 2 days of resisting, they would be thinking about ways to bang her sister. These are the guys that look at the idea of only phucking one woman for the rest of their life as being almost like a life sentence in a maximimum security prison. The only way marraiges can work for these types is if either the wife never finds out, or she can tolorate her husband's indiscretion, or they have an open marraige. I happen to fall into this catagory myself. Maybe some woman will come by and I will change my ways, but at this point, I don't see that happening.

Just because you monger doesn't mean you are a lifetime monger (and maybe that's a good thing).

Excellent post - which pretty much nails the two extremes from what I've seen.

However, I do feel it's possible to be a "hybrid" - so to speak - of each type. Which is what I regard myself as. I want every encounter to be more than just a standard "get your rocks off and out the door" affair. I place a high value on kissing and foreplay, and will push the envelope and get as passionate with any one girl as I possibly can. Maybe that's why I took to Rio so easily, as the girls love to kiss and generally will call and even raise whatever passion you bring to the table.

In all my recent trips (yes, even CR in October), I've gotten involved in something of a "temporary novia" situation, where I'll hang out for extended periods of time with one girl and generally treat her like a girlfriend. If you've got something good going, why not exploit it for all it's worth? But at some point, my "Monger #2" personality always kicks in. Meaning, no matter how hot she is or how good the sex is, after I've phucked a girl a certain number of times, I need a change. Physically, I just can't respond anymore. And that's where Rio can be problematic, as the girls thrive on passion and get pissed off when you suddenly direct it elsewhere.

Of course, all this presumes a "lifetime monger" existence, as Counte Dante so aptly described it above. Meaning that I'll just have to continue to enjoy the fantasy of falling temporarily "in love" on a repeated basis, knowing that as soon as I jump on that plane to come home, it's all over and I go back to the same mundane existence as before. Which at one time may have seemed weird, but now seems completely normal.

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Check out http://weluvlatinas.com/ for the web's best info on the latin american monger lifestyle...

Counte Dante Wrote:

This is me. I have about a 95% ratio of being with a woman one time in CR. No matter how good they are, how good they look, or how good we are in bed, I know that I'm really a dog at heart. It is much like going to Avis to rent a car. They have a thousand different models and colors, why would I rent the same model time after time. I want to get the feel, and ride, of a different model, since I'm paying for it.

GetRhythm Wrote:


This is also me. If a lady, whether P4P or not, does not have multiple orgasms, I haven't done something right. H*ll men just need friction, women need what they want, where they want, how much of they want, and when they want it. It's like a puzzle trying to put all the pieces in place. When it is finished what a wonderful sight to see. A lady who couldn't bitch about anything, even if she wanted to.

I was married and faithful for twenty years, after a single life of living through the sexual revolution. Wasn't the 70's a good time to be young. It was a time before women wondering if they were equal, but wanting to show us they thought they were. I was just a very fortunate soul to allow them to use me, without today's attitudes.

Being older than most on CRT, I do consider myself a monger for life, or at least until old Wide Willie doesn't stand up to the test.

For me CR is like going to Baskin-Robbins, I want to try all 31 flavors each trip.

Happy mongering, no matter what your preference.

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It's not the size of the wand that put the rabbit in the hat, it's the magic in it!!!

I too will be taking the plunge soon and will be getting out of the mongering "game" for good. I know that I can change and my novia is enough for me, and I have no doubt she will continue to be after we get married.

I don't think mongering is that difficult to give up. It's more mental than physical. At least for me it was, but maybe I have deep psychological issues...

I gave up jacking off for a day once. I was back at it in no time!

Everyone mongers for different reasons. Some are addicts... like those who can't resist alcohol or drugs... a habit not easily broken. Others are like those of us who enjoy a cold beer... we stop at one or 2 and that's it. We enjoy the taste, but it never rules our lives.

Only you know Rainman where you stand. Best of luck.

Berk.....

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FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

"It's better to want something you can't have,
than it is to have something you don't want."

Many of us spend a healthy portion of our lives in search of the mythical "perfect partner." We think we want "it" but after a year or two we lose appreciation for what it was we found so irrestible in the first place. They say we changed. We say they changed. The truth is we often forget the real reason we were so attracted to each other and the concept of everlasting companionship.

Yup, it's about companionship and sharing lives. It's not abot sex. When you are in a committed monogamous relationship it's no longer a question of getting your rocks off. It's about sharing intimacy and a true desire to demonstrate your love. (Like pac55 does with his magic wand? )When you are happiest giving..... and as a result, receiving more in return, you have discovered the magic formula. The real trick is not losing the recipe!

My parents were married for 62 years, with 3 K*ds. My Mom claims she only had sex twice. (I have a twin brother) My Father died in '04. My Mom's only sorrow in life is having to live without my Father. In those 62 years they were apart fewer than 30 days. They loved each other. They loved being together. They became one heart and one mind. Their joy came from giving joy to each other.

So, IMHO, it's not about sex and mongering. It's about finding real happiness by giving and sharing lives.

Many of us who crave the GFE want to experience life the way my parents did. The only problem is we've only found a way to feel it by the hour. But, it's better than not feeling it all. We want to feel like someone trully cares about us. We want it so bad we're willing to fool ourselves for an hour or two.

Don't believe me? Think about your friends who are passionate about their dogs. It's not because they like picking up poop! It's "man's insatiable desire to give and receive unconditional love."

FWIW, YMMV

I think it would be easier for the Puta. I can't imagine having the same pu*sy to Phuck for the next 40 years - not that it isn't a perfect pu*sy, mind you.....

But the chicas are not in it for the sexual pleasure - it is the money. So I think if they are assured of an easy ticket to an easy life, they could let go of hooking, while we horny bastards will still be itching to get a BJ from the next hottie.

How many times have these chicas been set up with cash flowing from the WU office where they don't have to work, but they still do?

Berk....

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FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

Rainman,

Congrats on the relationship. I have dated many Colombiana's here in the states, nonworking girls, and I find them to be the best. Sometimes a bit tempered, but great in everything else. As fo the mongering, I think it would be easier for the puta to give up then for us to totally walk away forever from it especially when easily available.

By the way, how did you meet your novia in Colombia?


PURA VIDA!

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Livin' & Lovin' in Key Largo....oh....And the one in The Keys, too!

Easy, a puta. Some of them hate it, and they are just for the easy money. On the other hand, once a monger you are always a monger. Just my opinion. :)

Once again...we here at CRT try to lump them all together....
For the hardcore girls, it'd be much easier for a monger to quit. These girls live on the 'high' they get from the money and good times they have in the profession. Two girls from Brazil I (and many other) know like to travel the world selling sex to pay for their adventures.
Others, like many Ticas I know, are in it for one reason, to support their families/K*ds. They would quit in a minute if they KNEW they were supported and didn't have to worry about money in the future. For them, it'd be much easier to quit than it would for a monger.
I've mongered for many, many years all over the world. Last count I've had sex in 8 different countries with girls from 19 different countries. However, right now, I have no problem giving it up as I'm satisfied with the relationship I have. And it's been the same for me all my life. When I'm in a realtionship with someone I love, sex with someone else isn't all that appealing.
I mean heck, I'm a ten minute cab ride from Del Rey and it's just not worth the ride (much less the $100) for me to have sex while the esposa is away...
Just two cents from a semi-retired monger...

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The only thing that matters is happiness in all it forms...