www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Bktuna,

There will always be those days of ominous dark clouds in any relationship. The good thing is to realize we all have our faults.

The ending of a long relationship has always been my darkest days for some reason. I guess I always saw the investment in time & realized the end really means THE END FOR EVER! At least if you are just friends with a person you can always call & stay in touch. Generally after love has been involved most people seem not to want to stay in touch. That really sucks IMHO because you were so close at one point & then this point forward with them seems like the death of them in my experience.

We seem to be such fickle little creatures. We want love & to be very special to a wonderful woman. We find this & are totally lost in it for a while. Many of us don't even look at another woman for a long time. I wish I could keep these feelings of the new love forever but for me no matter how beautiful & wonderful a woman has been to me I can not keep that newness alive.

After enough time I have tended to want to feel that newness again to the point I take chances. I just wish we could keep this new love feeling we find in women forever. It would sure make life less complicated.

I don't mean to be too cynical but I wonder if she was crying about her love with you or that her life was going to be so much more difficult without your support. I don't think many of us realize what an impact we can have on their lives. We solve so many problems for them (if we allow ourselves to get this deep). Most "normal" women I have known do not like being with a lot of different men. Once very comfortable they like building their nest. When we pull the plug & don't fulfill the dreams they have dancing in their head their whole world seems to cave in. They know it is back to square one & they lost all this time & effort on you. I don't like it either but I try not to miss lead them in anyway. Sometimes they just miss lead themselves.

_________________
"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

BK, I am sorry for your pain.

And I admire that as a southern gentlemen you stated right up front it was your issues.

I trust you buddy. And your always welcome at my house.

Wish you the best. Red

_________________
Take a walk on the wild side.

First, I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I have seen you quite a few times with your girl at the SL and you both always seemed to be having a great time. Too bad it has happened but maybe the future holds some clarity.


I would be interested in a discussion of why the jealousy and insecurity is present in people. Sometimes people's past experiences and self perception are too much to overcome. In a way that person is living in the past when they should be living in the present. What they/we don't realize is the presence of that fear is what often eventually turns the other person away.

I hear you and can understand that. While we are all a little selfish, it's obvious you are not thinking only of yourself.


I understand how you feel. Sometimes in these situations it seems like we are the bad guy and we wonder what's wrong with us- why can't we just be happy. But you still have to be fair to yourself.


Sure, if you promised something or agreed to it then it's tough to back out. But when someone is pushing the boundaries further it can often be hard to draw the line in the sand because one, you can imagine it possibly working out, and two, you don't want to really crash in on their feelings when you know at the time they are feeling really good and optimistic. But the essence is still that they are the one trying to move you to a place they want you to be, not necessarily that you are ready for.


And if you had a heart to heart a few months back and told her you might not be in the same place she is it would have been equally devastating and the last few months would have been even more jealous and suspicious.

You had two options, go through this situation now or "settle" to make her happy then find yourself eventually unhappy and perhaps devastate her and yourself on many levels more down the road.

Thanks for the good thoughts guys.

Basically, for the last four months I had been having almost daily discussions about our need to change a few things. In the end, she truly was incapable of doing that and I was incapable of dealing with it anymore.

The last week has been the least stressful in quite a while. Just getting out for a few drinks with Papichulo and Dr Mario helped immensely. I have not taken the VB cure yet. Quite honestly, I am enjoying dealing with no females of any sort at the moment. I am sure this will change soon enough.


In the last six months, I have missed out on a lot of great nights out with the guys, and I am looking forward to upcoming trips from the Goodfellaz. That comraderie is one of the more important aspects of my life in Costa Rica.

BKTUNA
I am never going home

BK,
As I stated before, you were definitely missed during the Superbowl festivities this year. Look forward to sharing a cold one with you soon.

By the way... if you're feeling a little froggy, come on over to Flamingo Beach this weekend, and you can come fishing and party with Barrachito Bombero and I. Hell, we might even find you some company !!!

Now get back on the horse and ride!!!

MG

_________________
You ALWAYS have an option ....... "NEXT" !!!

Thanks for the offer MG, but I have the Sunday poker tourney to run. We just hit our 1 yr anniversary of having the game. Are you two going to hit San Jose after the weekend or do you have to go back to real life?

I do not intend to miss any major gatherings again.

BKTUNA
I am never going home

An interesting aside to this is the fact that CR must be among the easiest places to find female company after a breakup. Normally, you factor in the difficulty of getting laid into breaking off a long term relationship.

The information highway is flowing down here. I have already had two former pro favoritas call up (I have no idea how they got my number) and offer replacement services. It will take a while before the SL girls will talk to me for fear of retribution and/or me getting back together with K.

In addition a nice tica from work has already heard and is making her interest known as well as the girl that works in the ice cream store in my building.

I think I will survive,

BKTUNA
I am never going home

Bktuna,

I just read the boards and am sorry for the breakup. I will give you a call in the next few days to touch base and see how you are; I might even be able to arrange a trip down there.

I don't really have much to add because others have expressed excellent points and you already know you have made the right decision.

Talk to you soon and let me know if you need anything,

Harvoolio

I just rented an apartment for mine to get her out of my house. It is a damned if I do, damned if I don't. I am much happier now. At my age , I enjoy a little time alone. She (they) can really go on with the mind games in the form of jealously , sadness , etc. I have a new since of freedom now that she is not on me all the time. I never wanted her to move in in the first place.

BK,

Im sorry to hear of you and K's difficulties. It seems that once the "Pandora's box" of mongering has been opened it can cause problems in maintaining a more conventional relationship.

I have not been in CR since last April due to my ongoing romance in Medellin. I could not agree more with you that we underestimate and downplay the hurt that we inflict on many chicas. I see this all the time in Colombia. I am mainly speaking of normal chicas not working girls . The pros IMHO have already had a monkeywrench thrown into the system and are not the same as a regular chica.

The Pasitas in MDE are often victims. These are really sweet chicas for the most part. They are faithful and hardworking with traditional values. They have a deep respect for the sacredness of marriage. This is a notion that is not shared by the males in their society. Latinos in general seem to feel that they should "get all they can, while they can".

What I am basically saying is that their very nature sets them up as "easy prey" for any gringo with un poco espanol and a little game. It is really sad to see how some of these very swet Paisitas can have their hearts broken and there fondest dreams destroyed by someone just looking for a piece of ass.

I received word last week that my Petition for fiancee visa had been approved and forwarded to Bogota for processing. If all goes well we will have our interview at the Embassy in Bogota sometime in April.
Im doing all I can to wean myself off of mongering and will make a full effort because my little Pasita is so sweet and I would not want to hurt her because she loves me so totally.

Will I miss mongering ? Yeah, Im sure I will. But I know for sure I would rather have a devoted and beautiful life partner instead of making trips to mongering destinations 20 years from now. For those who have never had the experience of getting to know and be loved by a regular Latina I can only offer my testimony that even the best experience with the hottest HDR honey or LDV vixen does not start to approach the experience you receive when a sweet Paisita gives you her heart and soul.

Sorry for the preaching,
Rainman3

Rainman,

I hope your marriage to a Colombiana works out better than mine did

_________________
Old and retired but still bang, and bang, and bang!!!

BB57,

I hope so too!

I would be interseted to know more about your failed marriage to a Colombiana;

Pro or regular chica?
What estrato?
Education?
Ch*ldren?
Paisa, Costena, Calena ???
Age difference between the two of you?
Where did you attempt to live with her? USA or COL ?
Length of the marriage?

My girl is a 32 yo middle class Paisa from Boston barrio in Mde.
Never married and no K*ds. She lives at home with her family. Completed secondary school but no Universidad. She works as all members of her family do. I am 10 years older than her.

If you are willing to share I would be curious as to a little history of your relationship with your Colombiana.

Sorry for hijacking your thread BK!

Rainman3

Rainman3,

To answer your questions without going into too much detail here (I will PM you with more details if you want more):

She was a non-pro if there is such a thing when it comes to females, especially Latinas looking for a way out of their country and into the states.
She was one of 2 Ch*ldren of an unwed mother and was borned and grew up in Cali (Calena).
She is a very intellegent person with the ability to hide the fact that she had almost no education. I honestly did not know till she was in the states and I tried to enroll her in english classes that she could not read above a 2nd grade level. At that point I realized that I had just never put 2 and 2 together. She had an autistic son, and everytime there was something to be read, she would give it to him to read. I just assumed she was doing it to help him, not because she could not read.

As for age, I was with her 24 hours a day for a week when we first met. Had been told she was about 40 (I was 60) Everyone that knew her and everyone that has ever seen her or a photo of her say she looks about 30. She had to show me proof when she told me she was 58. She is a skin specialist and her own best advertisement.

The autistic son was 18 when we married. She had never been married.

We were engaged for almost a year and I spent much of that time in Bogota (she had lived in Bogota for 20 years) Married in Bogota and took 11 months to get her and her son's visas. We lived together less than a year in the states.

She change in almost every respect (and I have since heard of this happening quite often) once she got to the states. Was in no way the wonderful person I had known and fallen in love with in Colombia.

She is now married to a Doctor and I only hope he has enough money to keep her happy--I sure didn't. Actually she cost me $175,000 in 2 1/2 years.--very embarrassing that I was sooooo stupid. And yes there were a LOT of signs, even before we married; I just was so blinded with love that I refused to see them till it was too late.


As I said, I hope you all the best and hope your's works out differently. JUST BE CAREFUL AND READ ALL THE SIGNS.

_________________
Old and retired but still bang, and bang, and bang!!!

BK, it's all been said already. . .

You are a gentleman and a scholar, and you will get back on the proverbial bike and ride again. Relationships come and go, and it sucks. . . With that said however, I also believe that we only get one ride on this earth, so don't waste a single day, LIVE LIFE AND BE HAPPY.

CMAC
Latinaland, MIA, FL, USA

Hey BK,Sorry to have picked up on your new single status so far behind.I did see a post by you telling about your single status,but was not sure of the break up between you an K.
You are as good as they come and have always offered good advice to many including me.I remember you stating your only problem was the jealously issue.It was a very hard decision,but most probably the right one.
Hopefully you can be friends,and will both be happier in the long run.
Hope to see you next month for some drinks and good times.
All The Best Mi friend.
Roberto