www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Okay, once again, its snowy in Southern New England and I am getting cabin fever, so too much time is being spent on the board, but I am wondering what is wrong with the would be Novios that despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary still insist that they can turn water into wine, make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, turn a Republican into a democrat or make a wife out of a puta? So, I am interested in your opinions on the matter.

I really think that there are two completely different types of Novios. There are the tourist novios who come down to visit every few months and wind up falling for a girl. Then there are the resident Novios who live down here and wind up falling for a girl.

Of the two, the residents have the best shot. They seem to come into the relationship with their eyes more open than the tourists. Also the chicas aren't as easily able to scam them as a tourist because 1) they know the game and 2) They are around all the time. My bet is that a different class of chica, behaving in a different manner, hooks up with the resident novios. This doesn't mean that those relationships are garunteed successes either. They just have a better shot.

I haven't yet heard of a tourist novio situation that actually worked out (not saying that there aren't any). My bet is that CRT probably only hears about 0.1% of all of these relationships. There are girls getting monthly Western Union payments from multiple guys.

Here is a question: It seems to me, from reading the boards, that CR mongers are more likely to have current/former working girl novias, yet Colombia mongers are more likely to have non-pro novias. Is this accurate, and if so, why is that?

I am not so sure about your mountain of evidence. I know alot of former mongers from other boards that have "retired" and are living quite happily with former pros, some for at least 6 years now. I did it myself for a year then we went our seperate ways but are still good friends. There are circumstances that can make it work. I would consider living with a former pro again. Civilians I can definately do without. I would be happy to outline my theory of which circumstances can make it work, if you want.

Outline away, my friend.

I have one Nica in particular...yes, a working girl, who I would say is "genuinely fond of me".....and likewise, I am with her. I think our relationship is somewhat "special" to both of us. I treat her well, and she treats me well. She never asks me for money...but I do enjoy helping her and surprising her with nice gifts from the States.

Would I marry her?.................No
Would I live with her?............ No

We both keep the relationship in its proper perspective.

Zebra

quote="Counte Dante"]

Outline away, my friend. [/quote]

Ok. Based on my own experience and those of several amigos I know who have settled down with former pros and done well. I had this discussion oddly enough with a few amigas from the DR and SL this last week. Most agreed with my theories.

1) It must be a "realistic" situation. If you are pushing 65 and she has yet to see her 21st birthday, that is not real. If you are in your 30's and she is around mid 20's and up, that is real. See the difference?

2) Communication. You absolutely must be able to speak her language. Even if she speaks flawless English.Why? Because in the long term game she is not the most important player in your future. A little Latina 101. Aunties, uncles, cousins, Dad and especially MOM. Not to mention her K*ds,
are the ones you need to win over. You already have her, but if you do not get these family power players on your side, they will keep looking for an upgrade for her.You will not accomplish this by flashy gifts or throwing money around. And you will not accomplish it in English either. Sort of a cultural knowledge necessary that runs counter to many monger instincts.

3)Where is she at? Does she really want to quit? These are things to think about. I find that things go best for a potential relationship when she is relatively new to the game, or has reached a sort of personal crossroad that tells her she cannot do it anymore. Either due to age or just not happy doing it anymore. She is at a point of transition and ready to make the necessary changes for things to work. If she is at her prime, no K*ds and making good money each week with all the perks that go with it, why would she want to make the necessary sacrifices?

4) How do you see her?I will credit this point to Haidy at SL. She brought it up when we were having a drink at SL and discussing this very topic.

Most guys at some level cannot get past the idea thier live in lover used to Phuck for money.If you want to make things work the occupation of the past cannot be the first thing you see in her each day. You need to think about what she does for you, in and out of the bedroom. How she is a great mom, caring person, beautiful woman, etc. And everyday her former occupation, or even if she is still working, needs to drop a level on how you identify her, till it is basically out of your mind. If all you see in her is a freebie and not a person, it will not work. As Haidy put it, "you need to see her as a good girl with a bad job. Rather than a bad girl with the perfect job".

These are just a few points. Will post more later if there is interest.

Its a pure fantasy world whether the guys see it or not. A good number dont even fit with the chicas they are with. They are trying to make something happen. I saw it last night. A 50 something trying to entertain a 20 year old. They are sitting at the table, nothing to talk about. And if you add a hooker to the mix. What the hell do they talk about.. cartoons, texting techniques, etc.... Then dealing with her tantrums and immature demands... The poor guy doesnt even realize how silly he looks to people around him with this person that he has absolutely nothing in common with.

MrLasVegas,
One of the best, most thought-out posts I have read on CRT.

mr. las vegas.
please continue.

Okay. A few more points to think about, for those considering taking the plunge into settling in with a pro or former pro.

Support-
This comes in many forms. Money is one of them.Are you capable of supporting her and K*ds? There is a certain financial reality that kills the fantasy in this. If she was just working a few nights a week at Del Rey and kept a day job, the financial hit is not quite as bad. Nor is the transition. But if that is her only job, and you tell her to just stay home with the K*ds, are you really ready to pick up the tab? All the CRT training, the do not send money policies, have to go out the window. You have gone from president of ME, Inc. to a co-president of WE, Inc. And your fellow president has real bills to pay.Plus you need to see how you will keep income rolling in. Are you going to try to work in her country? Does your job allow for a commuting position where you could reside in her country and travel to your work in the states for a short period of time. Then return to her country. This needs to be thought through very fully.And long before you ever consider playing house together.

The other is very realistic emotional and family support. Are you going to kick in with raising the K*ds? Help her out with very real issues that come with K*ds and a family? Or are you just going to say "screw this" when the realities of a relationship come to a head, and go to ZB? Do the last option and she will react accordingly, like any female really. Do the first two and she will care for you and about you on a level most men cannot comprehend. I think it is both a cultural and a wiring thing.

Ho to housewife/ monger to perfect hubby-

Some will say both statements are impossible. I will respectfully disagree.
I have seen way to many former pros that have become excellent housewives. And mongers that have turned over a new leaf. It is easier for her to change than it is for the monger. She never defined herself by her job, as a general rule. In her mind she was a single mom doing what was necessary to put her and the K*ds ahead, and still get to spend the time she wanted to with them. Just as she transitioned in to the job, she can transfer out, with the proper motivation. The monger becomes a different story. If he has been living the free lifestyle that comes with this hobby, his world is about to change radically. I have had former mongers tell me they went through withdrawals going anywhere within a few miles of thier favorite mp or strip club. But head back to your old life and you will get found out. She still has contacts checking up on you, after all. Then it all ends. So are you really ready to retire? REALLY?

Keep in mind I am not trying to be Dr. Phil of monger/pro relationships.
But I lived with a pro for a while and had as close to normal a relationship as possible. And I have alot of friends who have done very well in thier settling down with former pros. So all these ideas I have posted come from that. And as I mentioned, conversations on this topic with a few favoritas at DR and Sportsmans. As well as ongoing conversations with bar girl amigas in Tijuana. Take it for what it is worth to you. But should you come across the perfect lady in CR at your favorite hotel or bar, look up this thread, read these points, and think hard. Good Luck to all and Pura Vida!

Very interesting thread. I think MrLasVegas is spot on. I have not done it nor do I live there but I think the communication and workability are key (age difference must be in the 10 to 20 yr range).

I do travel monthly to SJO and find the girls "different" than when I was down less frequently. YES I know for most it is a more consistent revenue stream. But also more of a bond/friendship/relationship environment evolves. I could see it happen with a puta. I could also see being scammed by a girl 5 times for every one time it would be real.

I also find myself agreeing with much of what MRLV has to say. It is difficult to put any absolute to any relationship and the situations we find ourselves in down here are no different.

If I may offer a suggestion: If you find yourself thinking in terms of "making it work", consult with a third party. Someone you know and trust who can see the relationship from a more objective perspective. If you are tilting at windmills, chasing an impossible dream, then your friend will respectfully tell you, if he is a true friend.

If you have a problem with the fact that she was or is a working girl, I don't give the relationship much of a chance. Your "preset" will be to throw her former status in her face when things get testy and reminding her that she is/was a ho' is pretty much the end of any perceived respect she might have felt you had for her. She will resent you for the slight no matter how much you apologize and resentment will surface in an ugly way when you least expect it, IMHO.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

agree 100% on the respect part. throwing her work back in her face is never a good idea and burns the bridge of respect immediately. it also is just a shitty thing to do and can only come from the meanest recesses of your person. whats the point anyway. only trying to make yourself feel better by putting her down.

quote="Thirdworld"]Its a pure fantasy world whether the guys see it or not. A good number dont even fit with the chicas they are with. They are trying to make something happen. I saw it last night. A 50 something trying to entertain a 20 year old. They are sitting at the table, nothing to talk about. And if you add a hooker to the mix. What the hell do they talk about.. cartoons, texting techniques, etc.... Then dealing with her tantrums and immature demands... The poor guy doesnt even realize how silly he looks to people around him with this person that he has absolutely nothing in common with.[/quote]

AMEN!!!! On several occaisons, I have seen a puta in her 20's with a gringo in his 40+'s in establishments in my hood. Harken - GUYS ON THIS BOARD THAT FALL INTO THIS CATEGORY. I can say with 100% certainty that the locals view the gringo as a sucker and a fool. I am not saying that its overboard to "hire" a girl by the hour. But, when you are clearly mismatched and you are treating her to a fancy meal or something.... you just look stupid.

If you are not clearly mismatched... meaning you are not 20 years older than her, then you might stand a chance generally, but I have seen exceptions here too. In otherwords, she is WAY HOT, and YOU ARE NOT.

BTW... isn't it more important how we perceive ourselves? Take a look at yourself. Are you and her just physically on different realms? She is young and hot. You are perhaps older and way out of shape. I don't care how much cash you have, she sees you as you are. And, if you do have cash, it will be "mined" and "extracted" by her. If you don't have a lot of cash, then its only a matter of time, before she adds things up and says "phuck you" and dumps you for her next john.

If you are younger, and have game, and are falling into any of the above, get out by all means. Stop calling her. Dump her. Fast. Dude... you have such an easy chance of hooking up with a non-hooker in CR... just give it some time. And, I mean a lot of time. You need to at least spend a shit load of "real" time here for anything to work out.

Shit!!! I was at Parque Sabana the other day. I ran into a gringo who was retired and living here. He liked my dogs. He eventually crumbled and told me about his week. A week earlier he had a minor heart attack. His Colombiana GF, with whom he had met in the DR, was not to be found during the attack. He almost got worse calling 911, speaking in english, asking for help. The operator knew he was having problems, but didn't understand his english. His neighbor eventually heard and busted-in. He was just trying to get his pills on the counter, but was weak on the floor and couldn't move.

Anyway... went to the hospital and was stabilized (cheaply on the CR healthcare system). When he returned to his home, his novia, had cleaned out the apartment and wrote nasty shit all over the place in spanish. He had someone translate.... roughly "phuck you old geazer. don't call me. i hate you."

What a sweeitie!!! The guy just had a heart attack!!!

More lessons for those uniformed, to come....

_________________
http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

MR LV...

I think you make a number of good points about positive possibilities in going LT with a current or former sex worker. "Love is a many splendored thing" after all. And maybe MONGERS and PUTAS are perfect matches at the end of the day. I'm still unclear about that.

As for me, I have not mongered my whole life, basically fell into the lifestyle after my divorce while living in Florida. Sure...had a "few" full service experiences in my single years with stripper girls and MPs...but not many. And I never got wrapped up emotionally in any of these women. It was always about sex and maybe friendship on top. But, I was always realistic about what I wanted and didnt want in a long term relationship...and dealing with the sex worker baggage that comes with MOST of these women wasnt it. Sure, they're cute, fun, entertaining and sexy...but in most cases they come from another side of life than I do...even if I AM playing around on their turf.

Which brings me to the question of "why would we CHOOSE to pursue a sex worker as a LT companion?". I mean, sure, they are human and in many areas of their life quite normal and they deserve our respect in many ways. Is it because of their lack of sexual inhibition that draws some of us to them? OR...are we trying to be "rescuers"? Come on now...some of you guys gotta fess up now.

Why do so many of us find it difficult to fine a "regular, civilian worker" chica to have a LT relationship with? I suppose mostly it is because we dont run in those circles anymore if we are too busy mongering and chasing pu*sy of the day. BUT...IMHO...there are many sweet, educated, and yes...even rich...Latinas out there who are/would be very open to dating and being with a mature, caring gringo. I dont think I got the last one out there guys...and believe me...if you live in this Latin culture...EVERYONE will know who is or was a "puta"...and in business or cultural settings...the respect and acceptance is not there. EVeryone understands why some of these women have to do what they do...but...they are not welcomed into the fold of "traditional" society. And sure...some of us dont give a phuck about that...but at the end of the day...most of us want a female partner who is going to be admired and respected by our families and circle of friends. Here in Panama, while most men play around on the side from time to time...they NEVER discuss details or bring it up with their business coleges. And a couple gringo guys here hooked up with current or former pros are not invited to parties or business occassions because they have flaunted their mistresses in public.

So...all this to say...mongering in SJO, PTY or elsewhere is all good. But...dont think you are going to assimilate these girls into a "normal" business and social life. Most of them will never catch on. Sure...there may be acceptions...but definitely not the rule. In Latin...much as in Gringa culture...hookers are not welcomed. Just the way it is. YMMV as always.

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...