www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Fair enough. Just so we are talking the same terms, we are talking about a puta that you are not paying, right? That is what we are talking about when we talk about a Novio. Because if you are paying them, then you have no further obligations to them.

However, if you truly are their novio, it is reasonable to expect that their drama is going to effect your life. We are talking about women here, not robots. In the end, they are all a pain in the ass if you spend too much time with them, and most (not all) putas have more than their share of drama and problems.

However there is a difference between it effecting your life and letting yourself get swept away in it. This is where being firm, setting your limits, sticking to them and calling the shots for your own life is so important. Being strong in setting a stable course in your life is what ultimately Latinias expect out of their men. It is how you will earn their respect.

What you can not do is put her in a position where she is directing you and what you are doing. The man needs to set his own course, it is the woman's decision if she is going to come along or not. If she is calling the shots, dating a puta, she will run your ass into the ground. There is no question in my mind about that.

Right and for that matter any woman you are not paying. I simply think that the drama will come quicker when she is a puta. They usually have serious issue that lead them to the HDR and my take is that the HDR only adds more issues.

On average, this is probably very true, especially when you are comparing Tica to Tica. Comparing Gringa Civilian to Tica Puta, I am not so sure. Maybe, maybe not.

Posted in "Readers Digest, February 2008, page 77, in the cloumn "Ask Jeanne Laskas"

I quote verbatim: "Q: I used to have a ton of friends-then I got married. My wife can't stand any of my buddies. I've tried to adjust and only hang with our married friends, but I don't get invites out anymore. I love my wife, but feel horrible not having my old friends around. What can I do?"

Signed: Friendless

Jeanne's answer, in part, was: She is limiting you in ways that are bad for you and your marriage. Ask her to lengthen the leash_ _

Jeanne was way too nice. The answer should have been something like "Dear Emasculated Eunuch: Do you actually think that you are a man, asking your wife's permission to interact with your friends, letting her dictate who you socialize with, and then whining about her strict discipline" Grow up, take charge, and act like a man!

This letter blew my mind, but it really shouldn't have. A large number of contemporary American males have bought in the Phil Donahue/Dr. Phil philosophy that being a real man is fawning to women, kissing their asses, and, as Santas Bro puts it, handing your balls to your woman". To be a take charge resolute guy is to be a neanderthal. Being 60, I remember when it wasn't that way in America.

What does this have to do with the topic? When we are acculturated relentlessly in America to be Wusses, is it any wonder we sometimes have trouble acting like real men. I know I'm not talking about all American men; but guys, if some of this makes you squirm a bit, think a little more about what you are and how you relate to the "gentler sex"

Let me climb off my soapbox! Pura Vida, and buena suerte


CdrTom

You guys are striking right at the heart of it. American men have been emasculated by being raised by their mothers. There are very few male role models anymore. No strong father figures on TV like Hugh Beaumont (Leave it to Beaver) or Robert Young (Father Knows Best) or Lorne Greene (Bonanza). Instead, men are represented as bumbling morons (Home Improvement, etc) while the women are portrayed as highly intelligent and undervalued.

America is designed to reward compliance. Strong individuals are encouraged to be "team players" not strong leaders. The majority of advice men get comes from women (or girlie-men) telling them to bring flowers and candy and to place women on a pedestal. Mothers tell sons how they wish it was because they cannot bring themselves to admit that they need a submissive role and treasure the security that a strong male brings.

I have talked with many confused men in the last few years. The biggest tragedy in my opinion is that they try the way Mom told them and fail but are afraid to even try any other approach. Instead of trying a little different method and with a chance of winning and the risk losing, they stay with the old failed techniques and ensure that they always end up on the bottom.

American men are like linoleum: Lay them right once and you can walk on them the rest of your life.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Pacifica...right on comparing the role models of today to yesterdays TV men. To me it started with "Threes Company" with a feminine Jack. Then you have bungling husband syndrome in "Bewitched", "The Munsters" (big goofey husband), "the Odd Couple" (definitely 2 NON macho guys), "Happy Days" with the gutless Mr Cunningham, and "Whos the Boss" where you have the man working as housekeeper for a high powered woman executive. Talk about media trying to castrate the mans role in society! Just a few of many examples. Wheres Trevor Howard, Clark Gable and John Wayne when you need them? Even if some of the old actors were gay...they still knew how to ACT the part of a man.

While I dont think we need to go back to caveman or "Tarzan and Jane" roles between the sexes, I think we need a mix of being sensitive to the other sex, but at the same time demanding and expecting respect and support for how men are normally. I had an interesting discussion with a Latina here this weekend who was asking me how gringas differ from Latinas and why am I with a Latina. I told her the basic reason is that most Latinas retain their femininity and sensuality without losing their strength and role in the family and household. And...they work harder to keep and support their man, recognizing and respecting the differences between the sexes. Therefore, I can never imagine involving myself with a gringa again.

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

I here what you are saying, but I don't think it is all that one sided.

In the old days you had sensitive guys too, but not as many, Jimmy Stewart, Henry Fonda, Jacky Cooper, and Micky Roony

Today we have Al Pacino, Robert Deniro, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis, Sean Conrey, Sylvester Stalone, Arnold, Chuck Norris, Clint Eastwood, you also have new ones coming up in the The Rock and Vin Desal.

A lot of the guys you mentioned played in comedies, you have always had bunglers in comedies. There were many looser types among the old school comedians. Chaplin, WC Fields, Jerry Lewis, Laurel and Hardy, Don Knox, the list goes on and on.

Your point is well taken though; during the 70's you saw a cultural shift in favor of a "more sensitive" male. If you look at the list of the top actors in the 30's, 40s and 50's it is mostly manly men types. To me the one that was typified this shift was the sensitive war hero, Alan Alda in MASH (though he did bang a lot of chicks).

I don't entirely agree that the shift has been all bad. Men are better fathers now and closer to their K*ds, which is a good thing. In many ways we all better equipt to talk to women than the "old school" men. In the old days men and women short of existed in parrallel universes. Today I enjoy spending time with women in ways that guys didn't really do back then.

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with showing some sensitivity as long as you are strong in who you are as a man. If you can do that, you are way ahead of the old school guys that you mentioned. If you can find that balance, I think that is particularly attractive to Latinas because they are so used to their men treating them like shit. If you can be strong in who you are and what you want and still show them some kindness, you can have them eating out of the palm of your hand. They always want the honey more if you take it away once in awhile.

I do agree that the pendulum swung too far in one direction. Many, many American men have completely lost their manhood. I would venture to say, that most don't even know what it is they are missing. Many of the 30 something guys have absolutely no clue, not that the 40 somethings are a lot better. All these guys chasing these putas around is just crazy.

KC, I agree that there are "macho" types in today's TV/movies but there are very few competent male role models in relationships. Lots of strong silent single types...

As for men being more sensitive and better fathers, I wish that I shared your view. It seems to me that more and more K*ds are being raised by single mothers without the benefit of a relationship with their fathers at all. It can only get worse when Oprah becomes VP.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Well it sure is true that there are more single moms raising K*ds.

I am not sure I agree with the lack of competent role models. Danzell Washington, Russell Crow, Matt Damon, George Clooney are a just a few that come to mind. Then there is Donald Trump of course and all of the professional athletes (some good, others not so good). I think there are plenty.

I am a divorced father. It has been a challenge maintaining a relationship. But as far as the relationship I do have, I talk to my daughter a good deal more than my father ever talked to me and we were living under the same roof.

I am just not convinced that sensitivity and weakness are the same thing. In many many cases there is a huge overlap, but I do not think that it is necessarily so.

I think Bruce Willis is a pretty good example of that. He is a guy that women can relate to and feel comfortable with, I could see him being sensitive with his Ch*ldren and his women, but no one would call him weak. On the other end you have guys like Clint Eastwood who is more like the old throw back type guy.

I will agree however that a lot of the sensitive guy stuff has gone WAY too far. Metrosexuals? Please! Spare me!

I never meant to imply that "sensitivity" is a weakness. It depends on your definition/perception of the word. I do think that many young fathers are more involved with their K*ds than previous generations including my own fathers. Yet that progress is countered by the huge growth of single parent homes. K*ds grow best in a two parent household...as long as its not the "war of the roses". Probably the main reason i never had any...couldnt count on being that long term with any women i knew or married. This family breakdown I blame on this confusion of roles modern day men and women have in the family.

My version of "sensitivity" is...being there to listen and reflect. Letting your wife/Ch*ldren cry on your shoulder when they need to. And yes, being able to show your own emotions in front of them.

What I dont see as postive "sensitivity" is...accepting disrespect or downtalking from your mate or Ch*ldren. Allowing family members to verbally or otherwise imasculate you...especially in front of others. Having to ask "permission" from a spouse or letting a spouse run your schedule is a form of being castrated. Sure, communicating plans and schedules is part of mutual respect in a relationship, but is different than "let me check with the boss".

As for TV male role models...I always thought Andy Griffith made a good single dad ...

_________________
All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...

I agree with everything you said there.

Andy Griffith, yes and what about Fred McMurray?

Speaking of movies. With no football on last weekend I had a busy time mostly thanks to HBO.

I watched:

"A Good Year" with Russell Crowe directed by Ridley Scott (same team as "Gladiator". This is not your typical Crowe/Scott type of flick). I had seen it on an airplane but still enjoyed it again. It may be a little too light and "romantic" for some of you more macho types. Would make a good "date" rental.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0401445/

"Breach" with Chris Cooper. Very good, based on a true story of the biggest breach of intelligence in USA history.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401997/

"Brokeback Mountain" - Actually a very good movie. Real men can watch this film without feeling like a sissy.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0388795/

"National Treasure" with Nicholas Cage. A little contrived but entertaining.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0368891/

"The Thomas Crown Affair" with Steve McQueen, the definition of "cool".
http://imdb.com/title/tt0063688/

"Chinatown" with Jack Nicholson. Another classic.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0071315/

Six very different types of movies all of which I enjoyed. What does that say about me???



Here's one answer: Lonely. Very, very lonely.

I haven't read the responses in this thread, so I hope I'm not repeating what has been said already. This is not a response to anybody, just a general observation:

Guys should really get control of themselves before they start to try to control their relationships with chicas, whether it be as a client or a novio. How many guys do we see "out of control" down there (excess alcohol, drugs, staying out all night, spending money they don't have, trying to session 12 times/day, etc.).

YEA BOY!... acting like a bunch of teenagers wet behind the ears! I am gonna agree completely... although for those who can and do seperate reality from make-believe... it IS playtime you know, but you have to do everything in moderation!

Berk......

_________________
FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

Sensitivity is not weak at all. We need to be sensitive and observant in order to be remain aware. Doing a nice right thing at the right time is powerful. Being overly sensitive to small things that should have little effect is weak. The other thing that men do that they see as strong but women see as weak is nurturing. Nurturing men are on a trip to the friend zone. We should show concern for well being and provide appropriate assistance but should not adopt the role of nurse maid. It is not in character.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978