www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Hola, Papi's

This little gem was vanished along with the rest of my past. I thought it might be worth retrieving as it covers most situations we are likely to encounter. I could not fit the whole thing in my sig block. This way I can just post a link.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent those of CRT et al. All postings to CRT automatically become the sole property of CRT. Use outside the intended purpose is strictly prohibited. This site is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, include or exclude. FRONT TOWARD ENEMY. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. Do not, under any circumstances, pay cien. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for younger viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. This program has been modified to fit you screen. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. RFMs are simply long-distance upfront payment requests. Never pay upfront. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. If not slippery, re-wet. For official use only. I have no recollection of that, Senator. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Parental discretion advised. Post office will not deliver without postage. Check your claim receipt, many suitcases look alike. I have a wide stance. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. At participating locations only. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Not to be taken internally. Do not write below this line. If her lips are moving, she's lying. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Kilroy was here. Use of costume does not enable wearer to fly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. May be too intense for young adults. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. You could be a winner; no purchase necessary, details inside. Employees and their families are not eligible. Caution: contents are hot. Beware of dog. This contract limits our liability. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. Steet Habanas are actually Heredias. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Do not stand on top rung. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. No step. Booths for two or more. Not responsible for promotional consideration given or fees paid. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Product will be hot after heating. All agreements made while under the influence of an erection are non-binding. Not to be used for other use. Do not iron clothes on body. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for Ch*ldren. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Instructions; open package, eat nuts. To be opened by addressee only. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Please return all chicas to the upright position. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Mucous running out of her nose does not necessarily mean she is full. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. This side up. If you can read this you must have really good eyes. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Close cover before striking. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. Your mileage may vary.

Feel free to commit to memory for easy reference.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Can I make this my tagline?

Just link it like I did Double-D.

It comes out pretty big even this way:

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent those of CRT et al. All postings to CRT automatically become the sole property of CRT. Use outside the intended purpose is strictly prohibited. This site is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, include or exclude. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. Do not, under any circumstances, pay cien. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for younger viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. This program has been modified to fit you screen. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. RFMs are simply long-distance upfront payment requests. Never pay upfront. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. If not slippery, re-wet. For official use only. I have no recollection of that, Senator. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Parental discretion advised. Post office will not deliver without postage. Check your claim receipt, many suitcases look alike. I have a wide stance. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. At participating locations only. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Not to be taken internally. Do not write below this line. If her lips are moving, she's lying. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Kilroy was here. Use of costume does not enable wearer to fly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. May be too intense for young adults. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. You could be a winner; no purchase necessary, details inside. Employees and their families are not eligible. Caution: contents are hot. Beware of dog. This contract limits our liability. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. Steet Habanas are actually Heredias. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Do not stand on top rung. Don't even think about parking here. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. No step. Booths for two or more. Not responsible for promotional consideration given or fees paid. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Product will be hot after heating. All agreements made while under the influence of an erection are non-binding. Not to be used for other use. Do not iron clothes on body. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for Ch*ldren. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Instructions; open package, eat nuts. To be opened by addressee only. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Please return all chicas to the upright position. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Mucous running out of her nose does not necessarily mean she is full. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. This side up. If you can read this you must have really good eyes. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Close cover before striking. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. Your mileage may vary.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Jesus, I can't believe I just read that whole page. Very well put. Low branch does not constitute hung low. Caution, Cein in use while entering the DR. Thought I'd throw a few in. This could go on forever you know.

_________________
"You can only keep a secret between two people if the other one is dead." Ben Franklin

hourly rates rounded to nearest 20 minutes. 20 minutes or pop, whichever comes first, shall constitute 1 hour. taxi fare fee to walk across street additional.

_________________
The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

The only thing missing from the list is the inscription on a Claymore mine: "FRONT TOWARD ENEMY."

Thanks, Pac55.


Osogrande

You can't buy happiness, but you can rent it.

Except for the few I added specific to CR, these are all actual disclaimers found on actual products. I added "FRONT TOWARD ENEMY" since it really should be in there. I will be happy to add any others that people have actually seen in use. I have to go back and check if "REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT" is there...should be.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Mind the gap....

Here's a couple to ponder for consideration.

-> There is no warranty, express or implied, that the package contents will appear as they seem after unzipping.

-> Side effects may include drunkeness, short-term and long-term memory loss, complete inability to understand english and spanish, and Rapid Cash Loss Syndrome. Consult your priest before you begin this regimen.

-> If you unable to maintain an erection for longer than 20 minutes without the prescriptive assistance of ED drugs, you may want to instead just opt for Whisky Dick (TM) and give that a go.

-> Just think of it as masturbation, but only using the many holes of a hot, young latina beauty. Yeah.

-> Double the Pleasure, Double the Pun -- Whiskey Dick and Vitamin C = A Very Stiff Cocktail indeed.

-> If at first you don't succeed, you didn't use enough lube.

-> You can pretend not to speak english, too. Claim your south-Effingtonian, country of Tillamook, continent of Earl born and raised in your best accent. Then simply do the possessed weather man bit over and over. It really works!

-> ACTS OF GOD: If at some time, performance of your hooker is sub-par, you can invoke the Act of God clause, whereby you explain that God just that moment instructed you to ACT to get her to Phuck out of your room, post haste. Give her Taxi fare and explain in your best Effingtonian, "Your mother was a better lay".

-> Subject to terms and conditions specified in the sub-terms and conditions, only available after you accept the terms and conditions herein, which basically screws you out of litigative preference and confines your protests to an unfairly-biased arbitrage panel which has been previously paid off to rule in favor of whoever pays them the most. Lesson learned, google the arbitrgage judge, find their address, and burn a goat in their front yard, attaching the flameproof note to the ballsack which gives a courtesy case number for reference. You'll quickly find yourself winning all kinds of lovely disputes. Customer service should be so fine, I must say.

Ahh What? I don't think even the Ticas are going to fall for this. They are more educated than you think.

_________________
"You can only keep a secret between two people if the other one is dead." Ben Franklin

LK, you must never have been to Tillamook. They are a little cheezy....

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

O.K. I'm game, where is it? I must have been absent from my history class that day. Why do I feel this is an inside joke?

_________________
"You can only keep a secret between two people if the other one is dead." Ben Franklin

Actually a beautiful part of the country....If you don't mind rain 10 months out of the year.....

http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?co ... it=Get+Map

Home of World Famous Tillamook Cheese. Their motto is: "Come to Tillamook and smell our dairy air!"

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

I should have known, but cheese wasn't first on my list. I haven't ventured that far NW yet. I'll stay where I don't need to shovel the snow, Thank you.

_________________
"You can only keep a secret between two people if the other one is dead." Ben Franklin