www.CostaRicaTicas.com

The Del Rey hotel/casino is the only place worth seeing in the country. If you must leave the premises or can't get a room there, it's best to spend as little time away as possible.

If you MUST leave the Del Rey, carry as much cash as possible since you will find lots of great deals on the streets, especially late at night. Don't worry about getting mugged or robbed. You are a gringo, and have seen lots of martial arts movies. You can kick the asses of a dozen Latinos at the same time.

The girls inside the Del Rey are basically all nymphomaniacs with a strong romantic streak, waiting for a gringo to save them from 'the life.' It's the perfect place to find a girlfriend.

You can really impress them with jewelry such as an expensive watch. If they speak any English, they love hearing about how rich you are and how much you own back home.

If you don't have an Armani suit, don't worry. Just wear the loudest Hawaiian shirt you own. The girls will be able to recognize you more easily, from a distance.

If they don't speak any English, just speak more loudly to them.

The more you pay for sex, the better the experience will be.

If you INSIST on bargaining, don't worry. They will be impressed by your bargaining skills and show you a better time because of it.

If a girl tells you she can't spend the night because she has to get home to her son(s) and daughter(s), she's just trying to convince you that she would be a good mothers YOUR Ch*ldren. Remember, they ALL want gringo husbands and green cards. The stretch marks are artificial, by the way, and are just an attempt to show you they are fertile and would make good wives/mothers.

The hotter the girl looks, the better the sex will be.

Locals love to hear your ideas about what's wrong with their country and how it could be improved.

All the prostitutes make a lot of money, so you don't have to worry about them stealing from you.

The girls love it when you are really drunk. Nothing amuses them more than a loud drunk gringo, unless it's a loud drunk gringo who is verbally abusive. Their submissive nature makes them a sucker for a tough, assertive man.

The street people outside are very helpful helping you party. You can get away with anything in Costa Rica, and they will help you party like a rock star. You can also get great deals on genuine Rolex watches, which are necessary to impress the girls, as stated above.

Buying real estate in Costa Rica is a sure fire way to make money. Doing research is a waste of time. Costa Rica real estate is well regulated and fraud is nonexistant. Just buy something, wait a few months, resell it and you'll make a bundle.

Looks don't matter in most cases. If you're a gringo, they will love you just because you come from a more advanced culture. However, if you ARE young, buff and hot stuff, you won't have to pay for sex. If you find one of the richer Colombian hotties who had a good night ($$$) you can probably get her to pay YOU, since she's a nymphomaniac anyway.

I probably haven't covered all the bases here, but I'm sure other members can add to this list.

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"The only normal people are those you don't know very well." Joe Ancis

A few more:

The chicas at the Del Rey are probably some of the most honest, sincere women you will find in all the world. When they say they love you there is no question they mean it.

When a chica says she needs money for any of a myriad of reasons you can be sure it's the truth. If they ask for a loan they will hunt you down to repay it as soon as is physically possible. They just hate to "owe" anybody anything.

Be sure and do all your gambling at the Del Rey Casino. The odds are stacked in your favor and the dealer will actually help you win.

Lawyers in San Jose are your friend. If you want to buy property or need to get out of jail they are the miracle workers you will want to befriend.

To add to Bilkos list:

*Never take a taxi its cheaper to rent a car and drive yourself every where you need to go.

*The Costa Rican drivers are some of the most courteous in the world.

*The streets are well marked and everyone obeys the traffic signals and stop signs.

*People there are honest so you never need to lock your car even when its loaded with all your stuff.



Magnum XL

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Rio4Me4Ever is on a constant quest for premium trim.

!!

Yes don't forget that you are "special" & show this off in the streets with your "street smarts". Place 2 to 3 cameras around your neck, have 2 to 3 fanny packs filled with minor things like your passport & all your cash + credit cards around your belt as you stand on a busy corner with your head stuck deep in a map. This attracts Chicas like flies not to mention all their relatives ! It doesn't take long for a native to notice that you are not from "there" & they will be so happy to point the way !

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"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

LMAO …

Just spilled coffee on the keyboard reading this …

Mendo

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"It takes a lot of good beer to make a great wine"

After your session, the chicas will always ask if you want them to stay all night, especially the colombianas

Don't think anything of it if a Chica asks you for a little bitty teeny-weeny taxi donation of $20 at the end of your great session. This is perfectly normal & should be expected . You just have to realize these Little Darlings of the night are not really whores even though they do readily take our money . Don’t worry they will use the taxi money very wisely going straight home to return to their good as gold life style. There is NO WAY these sweet little things would even contemplate seconds or thirds with another man (physically impossible since our wifes or ex-wifes have proven this ) since you fulfilled all her wildest fantasies with your dirty love .

If she insists on walking around with you show her what a brave stud you are by briskly walking her across those busy streets with reckless abandon.. The traffic will always yield & stop without question & this REALLY impresses the Chicas , TRUST ME !

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"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

Those "one coin" guys outside the DR are delivery boys. You give them some cash and a list of items that you need such as cigarettes, candy, food, pharmacy items, clean socks, etc. They will run around and gather the items and bring them back to you at the DR with receipts and the change and all they charge for that service is one coin.

This can save you an hour or more and give you more time to enjoy the DR scenery.

Always buy the DelRey bartenders & waitresses a few drinks and pay with large bills.

The DelRey chicas are all poor and never have any money so buy them some drinks, smokes, dinner or give them some gambling money whenever they ask, they are very impressed (and turned on) by generous gringos!

Don't bother learning any spanish, it just complicates things when you can actually communicate.

If you do get out to some of the finer strip clubs, take a bunch of friends and always run a tab!

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Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

A few other words of wisdom..

When a chica says "oh, Papi", it means she loves you.

When a chica calls you her "vida" or "corazon" it means she loves you.

When a chica tells you you are the best lover she has had, it means she loves you.

When a chica tells you she does not make love like that to other gringos, it means she loves you.

When a chica tells you she loves you, it means she loves you.

When a chica tells you you are the only one she would do (fill in the blank) with, it is true. She loves you.

Chicas never lie to those they love.

You are special.

You are different.

The love between you will be special and different, and in spit of it not working out between 95% of all old and fat mongers and hot nubiles, your love is special, and will last forever.

The Easterbunny is real...The Easterbunny is love..

Eating greesy fatty food is good for your heart..greesy fatty food is love..

On your death bed, she will be there for you, and you will think only of each other. You will find god in that moment, and it will all be worth it..

Do not drink the water..

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I said hey baby, take a walk on the wild side.
Lou Reed

The "Ticas" in Morazan Park are the best value and best Phuck.

when 2 girls come up to you in the bm and say they are lovers and want to have a "big party" with you ..it will be the best money you ever spent and there is no why they will call the police on you and tell your hotel desk that you hit one of them ..that just the way 2 ticas tell you they love you.....

Gee thanks guys:

As we talk I'm printing a copy of this thread to take with me. I'm leaving in 11 hours and will spend my plane trip memorizing these rules. After 11 years of traveling to San Jose I finally now see what it is I have been doing wrong. If I study well when I get back from my trip maybe I'll be able to post a photograph of a fat ugly old hooker like the ones you guys post. Now that I know how to get one.


Lee

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PS: DO NOT SEND MONEY!

I thought of a couple more things -

The razor wire and bars on all the windows are just there for decoration. Crime and theft are virtually unknown, and don't worry, unlike the razor wire and window bars, the security guards and police are NOT just ornamental, and will quickly rush to your aid should the smallest problem occur.

Don't hesitate to post every picture you take on CRT. No CRT member would EVEN THINK of ridiculing you if you post a pic of an ugly chick. I speak from personal experience.

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"The only normal people are those you don't know very well." Joe Ancis

If you are hitting on a hot chica at the Sportmens Lodge and you think it can't get any better, you are wrong, cause it can. Hope and pray that a saint of a gal named Evelyn, young and fresh faced with natural breasts, comes along and offers herself as part of the deal. The $150 plus propina that you spend for the duo, Evelyn and whomever (it doesn't really matter who else), will be dinero well spent.

Ciaociao