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Confessions of a Man...
(Translation from Colombia newspaper)
I had never understood why the sexual needs between men and women are so different. I never understood all this idiocy of women being from Venus and the men from Mars. And I never understood why men think with their head and the women with their hearts.
But, one night, my wife and I went to bed. And well, we started caressing, and the inevitable occurred...when I was ready at this moment, she told me: "Right now I don't feel like making love, and I only want you to hold me!" (This she said with a cynical face...) I said! WHHAAATT???" Then she told me those magical words of all women: "You don't know how to connect with my emotional needs as a woman".
F---K ME! Finally, the object of the night was not to fight, hide the aphrodisiac oils, put out the candles, turn off the CD of Alejandro Sanz, put away the champagne. I took a cold icy shower to see if I could calm the "beast" and put on the Discovery channel on TV, at full volume so the daughter of my mother-in-law could not sleep.
The next day we went shopping, we entered a department store, I went to see some watches while she tried on 3 expensive dresses. Like a woman, she could not decide between one or the other, I said take all three. Then she told me she would need 3 pairs of shoes at $150 each pair, to which I answered it sounds fine. After we went to the sportswear department and left with some jackets with feathers and a Louis Vuitton purse, or some imitation of them. SHE WAS SO EXCITED! I think she thought I had gone crazy, but she brought them along. I think she was testing me when she asked for a very short skirt for playing tennis, when she doesn't know how to run, let alone play tennis.
Imagine the shock when I told her to buy everything that she wants. She was almost sexually excited after all this: lets go to the cashier to pay. It was here when, I apologize, we were only one person from paying, I said: "No my love, I believe right now I don't feel like buying all of this..." I wish you had seen her face, how pale it went when I said: "I only want you to hold me". She began to put on a face of such dismay, it paralyzed the left side of her body. I gave a nervous tic of the right eye and told her: "You don't know how to connect with the financial needs of a man"
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All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts...
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