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Travelman,

I agree with you about the burdening of loved one in the event that I need care in the future. I don't like to be beholden to anyone especially a loved one. I have to tell you though that I am learning a lot from the couple that I talked about earlier. The gentlemen had a stroke at the age of 78 two years ago and has to be helped, cared for by his wife who is four years older than her. We are very close to them and I have talked to the wife on many occasions and she has convinced me that her joy in life is taking care of the man that took care of her for over 40 years. He is also a proud man.

I believe our mind changes to accept what we have to as we move towards the inevitable end. I have thoughts and opinions now that I didn't have just five years ago. I cannot imagine how much I will change in the next 30 years.

Planning now for something that far off and having absolute sureness in what I will want then just doesn't make sense. Do I feel that I will be, like my friend, happy about burdening my wife? No. Do I feel that my attitude may change to go along with it if it does bring joy to my wife? Yes.

Remember, IMHO, when women becomes Mothers, they seem to put most of their energy into mothering to the detriment of the marriage. In effect, the women are returning to their roots as Mothers when they help us in our old age. I submit that Mothering, whether it be to us or K*ds provide the same kind of joy, if not more.

Also, the last info that I read on nursing homes, is that 30-40% of individuals end up in one. Perhaps, we all will need help of some sort at the end.

Have a Great Day,

Dave

Again we totally agree! It is a personal choice as to what you want and/or need.

Dave what inevitable end are you talking about?? I plan to monger on FOREVER ! I will try to catch that BIG mongering cloud as it blows by & ride it all the way to heaven clutching on to your shoe laces no less .

The movie the Notebook I thought might fit in here somewhere. The emotion of true love far surpasses the emotional reward we get from mongering I believe anyway.

I think a good marriage will mean more toward the end of our lives. The comfort of rising with someone that you truly love & have spend so much of your life with has a special feeling as long as both share equally in these feelings. Mongering only provides sexual release & terrific visual stimulation that is hard to beat but there isn’t the emotional stimulation that most of us need here in the grander scale of things.

I see many men that have been plagued with various demons of self destruction throughout their lives & marriage has given many of these tired souls purpose & stability they could have never found with their aimless mongerings. I really never had to struggle with these issues since I was always driven & focused about so many interests I have with living life itself. We all have different wants, troubles & needs.

As much as I love women I can leave any of them if needed without a trail of tears or tons of hate which is such a waste of time & energy. I was happy before them, with them & even without them. So many women tried so hard to control my direction so I would only focus on them. I just never believed in puting all my emotional eggs in their one basket since far too many women I knew tended to be clumsy with the basket .

I had many long term relationships which lasted for many years but NO marriage took place. Love sure seemed to be there with both parties as most everything was fun & fulfilled except one BIG problem was that the goals of these two people went in opposite directions. There wasn’t any fighting & no one ran around on the other at least as far as I knew. These types of breakups were tough since so many parts where so perfect. At least these two people realized that trouble would happen at some point since both were so determined with their design on life.

Hey I think all that is cool enough but what surprises me about so many DEEP relationships where you have total commitment (hard to believe I wasn’t so slutty at one time) & love with friendship in the fact you spend most days of your life for years sharing & having fun. Once it came to parting ways peacefully with NO fighting thank god since both were very mature at dealing with life it just seems sad that people can not at least stay in touch to see if the one you were so in love with is even alive?

Seems to contradict what some of these highly educated & intelligent women would tell me. I would hear when you love someone you never stop loving them etc. I know when I heard of a tragedy in their family I would call to pay my respects & ask how life was treating them etc. They knew I had no interest in anything but just mutual respect. They never returned those types of calls. No big deal but I find it interesting after so much was shared with no hateful fanfare at all. It just seems strange once you cross the LOVE barrier & sex barriers you seem to lose a friend for life if you do not stay by their side. Just seems like death itself to me when it doesn’t have to be.

Maybe since I am a wild & slutty guy now it has affected my clearer thinking?? After seeing how all this shit shakes out in one’s life I decided enough of this Mr. goody two shoes shit since in the end it really didn’t seem to mean that much. Now I enjoy what I can when I can & don’t let it eat at me since once life is past us we can not get it back. I decided since I am the one that put my life together & earned my situation I will enjoy what I feel at that moment makes me happy but I do it quite enough not calling undue attention. What purpose would that serve anyway?

I still put some others first & foremost over my wants & needs but I certainly don’t forget to take care of myself. When the music is over it is OVER but at least I had many a dance for myself. I guess I just don't trust the "fairy tell books" endings & trust what I have learned about people will have a more meaninful ending in the end. At least a better safety net of sorts since I know I didn't miss out on much in this life. I just think learning to continue to live for yourself while not being totally selfish or self centered has been a wise adjustment for me. Still better to be cool & smart about it.

_________________
"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

Zippy,

I would love to catch that big mongering cloud with you especially if it comes with a rejuvenated body and the energy of youth!!

I have had so much fun with my wife over the past 23 years that I almost have to expect some kind of pain and suffering. Until then though, I will enjoy all aspects of a great 24/7 relationship and hold out hope that it will last forever.

Have a Great Day,

Dave