www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Read a great thread on why to marry. Here is why I just jumped in. First off, love to monger! Nothing like going to CR and living out fantasies. Also have a great esposa at home. She is from Venesuala and great, but got to taste different fruits. Can't eat steak for dinner every day. She has given me three terrific K*ds. Love her more then anything. But again, can you eat the same food every night. the answer for me is not. That is why I am married and love to monger. No commitments- just sex. Just my thoughts! BKC

BKC - Everybody wants their "position" to be the right one. There's a lot at stake. I maintain there's no "universal" truth on this. I've been married happily, unhappily, not mongered while married, mongered while married, and been single. It's all good if you have a life and your health, and it all sucks if you live without hope and health, married or single.

Best thing anyone can do is exercise, eat right, and try to stave off chronic dieases that rob a person of good years. It's also important to have a network of friends and pursue interests, keeping the brain viable. Your method of being married and mongering works for you for now. For some, your approach might be stressful, but if you're happy, that's what counts.

I come back to the wise saying of a friend, "Do what makes you happy." Getting or staying married for any other reason, such as for security as one ages, is questionable reasoning in my view. We all would like protection from pain, death and finality, and it may be argued certain steps can be taken to "buffer" those inevitabilities. Having a life mate may make a difference. But there's a price for marriage and it can be dear. More than money, it can cost years of life that might have otherwise been spent in radically different ways. And with regard to increased longevity stats on married persons, it's unclear how education, better access to healthcare, and other factors might skew the results.

If you're not afraid to be alone, whether in good health or poor, you're probably in the best position to make a decision about giving up the single life. If you want K*ds, marriage probably makes sense. But one honest look at the stats on marriage being a "successful" institution is all it takes to make the objective person take pause. So that's what I'm doing now; pausing. After 2 marriages, one for almost 20 years, "pause" has been good; in fact, so good, a return to marriage has never been further off the "charts." I just hope I can think with my big head the next time I "fall in love."

Good luck with your marriage and approach.

_________________
"Don't never trust a woman, till she's dead and deep....One day she'll say she loves you, next day she'll throw you on the street."

"...and if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all. I certainly wouldn't..."

You are so right. Have also been married twice before. This one is a keeper. Loving life and having a great time doing it. Thanks for your comments. Always nice to hear wise thoughts. BKC

JM,

I could not agree with your views more strongly. I to have been married twice, 5 and 10 years respectively. I stay busy as a single dad, with my job and with good friends and family. Maybe someday I will get married again, but I doubt it. Being very content with my life as I live it there would be way to much conflict within myself to continue my ways (mongering and otherwise) and be in a conventional marriage. Been there done that. I could not in good conciousness lie to my wife about my fishing trips to CR and elsewhere. Everyone is the master of their own fate, but I will not put myself into another situation where I have to use
flat out deception with a significant other to get what I want out of life.

Rainman3

Great post, Jazz Man! I agree with all you just said and it sums it up all pretty well. There's no one right answer here for everybody.

JM,

Great post. I agree that there is no univeral truth about marriage and relationship and pausing to regroup is always a great idea. Where I differ is that your feelings are your feelings at this time and a smart person will always leave his options open for changes in his mindset and needs as one ages. In ten years, a loving relationship WITH NO SEX may just be what you want. To make absolute assertions of what the rest of ones life will be like is not, IMHO, being open to the way life leads us all.

I also hope that we all think with our big head about marriage in the future because, for the mongerers, thinking with the big head may make one realize that love is better than sex as we age.

Have a Great Day,

Dave