www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I was wondering if their is a desire to have a forum topic "An Elder Listens?"

IMHO in North America elders are pushed aside because we are "old" (which I'm glad I am old, cronologically anyway). In most cultures elders are revered for their wisdom. I have had failures in my life, divorce, alcoholism, drug dependency and a womanizer to name a few. I have had great success in my life also. I honor both for making me who I am today.

The past century has been the first where men were raised by their mothers. Previously if your father was a farmer you worked the fields with him. If he were a blacksmith you toiled at the anvil with him the whole while learning from him what it was to be a man. Then industrialization and dad is gone for most of the waking day leaving men to be raised by their mothers. While I love my mother greatly, she could not teach me what it means to be a man anymore than I could teach my daughters what it meant to be a woman. We both tried very hard.

North American society has taught me that I must be the "Alpha Dog". Anything less and I am less of a man. My ego needed to be ensured that I was faster, stronger, better than the next man. If I truly listened to another man how could my ego be formulating on telling him how much better I had done what he was talking about. I have learned as an elder that my ego doesn't need to be better, or more than than others, only the best I can be within myself. I am willing to truly listen now and not sit in judgment. Men need support from other men.

I post this because on a post a man actually asked for elder energy. I offer that to any and all, if I can be of service. I will listen, without judgment, to any man that needs an ear. Who am I to judge anyway, I have listed four great failures in my life and there more if I chose to waste more of your time. If there is no need for the general postings, any man can inbox me at any time, about any subject, and I will listen.

The men in the brotherhood of CRT are very fortunate to have the support that I have seen offered in my very short time here. It is not usual. If I can be of service to any of the CRT brothers, let me know. Should you not be comforable in the open forum, inbox me at any time I will not sit in judgement.

I look forward to meeting some of you on my October visit. I'm a CR virgin and will avail myself of the support of the CRT vet's. I will have fun and many laughs along the way. Pure Vida has already made a difference in my life.

Health & happiness.

Santa Bro

I've heard stories of men close to suicide who took their first trip to CR as a final "Send Off" to themselves. After hitting CR and befriending some CRT Cronies they received a new lease on life.

Interesting factoid something like 90% of men in prison say they had no male figure in their early lives.

Bro. thanks for the words and ideas you shared. I agree about women raising men. And I am raiseing two daughters. I too have fought and continue to fight drug and alcohol addiction. I am only 51 so not quite a senior with wisdom like VB and El lamero, but getting there fast it seems.

The ego, Self worth, Honor, Character, Exceptence, Charity. Are Ideas for men to contemplate. And I started learning about them from my Father at work when 11 and 12 during the summers. And in prision from the lead A/C Mechanic. And a lawyer. Men can have many father figures or elders who show us simple truths.

Like respecting what you see in the mirror.

But a man only has one Mother. No matter how disfunctional that relationship can be or beautifull. And Honor and Charity dictate that you respect Her and the Mother of your Ch*ldren.

OH! but what is love. I have never known. I say I love my Mother, my X-Wife and Mother of my Ch*ldren. I say to my Ch*ldren, I love you. But am ashamed because I do not understand it. I would give my life freely for them all. But it is from a sence of duty. It is the right thing to do. It is who I am. It is the meaning of manhood. I could not respect myself otherwise.

If you love it let it go. If it loves you it will return.

My Father is 78. He has had Qauddruopale by pass. Has a pace maker. Had a stroke. And now Alhtimers has him good. I love my Father. But that does not mean anything. I respect my Father. I owe my Father. And I want him to be hapy. And doing what I can to give him that is what makes me feel like a man.

I have learned finally from my last trip that you can not save the world. But I can not forget the Men who helped me save myself or the mother who loved me. These ideas seem in conflict with the mongering life. And so many of us try to save the Chicas. And we can not. But in trying we are paying our debt's and saving ourselfs.

Bro. thanks for sharing your thought's.

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Take a walk on the wild side.

I for one am proud to have "toiled" along side my father learning the trade that I ply now. As a Ch*ld I fought it tooth and nail, I mean it was taking away from my play time

I look at my sons, who do not want to learn the family trade and it makes me very sad, what I do is an art and a dying one at that. I have tried every means of getting them interested and they would rather play their video games, etc. I could go on and on about this but will spare you all the boring details.

My pet peeve is someone disrespecting their elders, I have said something to someone elses K*ds in the mall before, and was told by the parent to mind my own business. If they want to raise a disrespectful Ch*ld, it will be their problem not mine, makes me mad as hell though.

Santos, great start to a thread I believe.

Thank you

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Sparky
Get in line to ride the lightning!!!


Almost legally single again! Voy a Colombia otra vece!!

True Father figures are fundamental to success in life. But you can find these in many places, for example your grandfather, your older brother, and in College if you go the fraternities these are the ultimate in guides and mentorship for the future. The older alumni routinely visit weekly to advise, help, and give 18-23 year olds a roadmap for how they should live, also when your 18 and a stupid freshman it does help to have the senior brothers to download all their wisdom to you the 18 year old, and they have been accquiring wisdom from the alumni for the previous 5 years. For me my father is great I have absolutely no compaints, and all the above just augmented the mentorship.

.Santas Bro

Welcome aboard, nice to have you here. Can hardly wait to hear about your first trip. Many times you have to be there to really understand & it looks like you have been there & made it back with the knowledge that comes with it, YES!

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"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

I was fortunate to have been brought up, learning a trade from my dad. But then organized crime always has been family oriented.

I appreciate all the old timers and can never hear enough of their stories.

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

Sparkchase69 writes:



You've tried and that's really all you can do. Sons and daughters either take up their father's occupations at an early age or they don't and there is really nothing we can (or should) do about that. The absolute worst mistake a father can make in this life is to browbeat, cajole, or blackmail a son to follow him into a business. That either makes the K*D more resistant, or to keep peace and make an attempt to please the old man, he follows in his father's footsteps. Generally after between 10-20 years of doing something he never wanted to do in the first place, he abandons that life and finally at some point does what he always wanted to do.

I think the best thing we can hope to do is to show our K*ds that we LOVE what we are doing and that loving your job is the key to a happy life. Of course the corporate structure is completely different than in was 40 years ago. To most corporations you are just a small cog in a very big wheel and all they care about is what you can add to their bottom line.

Very few of our K*ds will remain in the same job (or even profession) for 20-30 years. Business is determined to prevent that from happening. So many strive to become the best in their field only to have the company replace them in their 50's with (2) K*ds right out of college and still save money on the salaries.



I never blame the K*ds for this. If the K*D is a jerk, chances are he had a good teacher at HOME. We are the role models for our Ch*ldren, and the old adage, "monkey see, monkey do" very much applies. If you want you K*D to succeed in school, enjoy learning, and be respectful, you need to start that when her/she is 3. You can't wait until he is 12 and then expect him to suddenly learn what it means to be a man.

It is very important that we get the message across to our Ch*ldren that life is not what we see on the boob tube or popular magazines. The first time you're son starts talking about being the next rock star, sit him down and pound it into his butt that for every rock star there are 100,000 guys sitting in bars playing invisable guitars. And when he tells you he is going to be the next Michael Jordan, remind him that maybe 1 out a 10 million K*ds with that same dream will ever fulfill them. Sure we can bullshit them and tell them they can grow up to be anything they want, but you're lying to them and sending them a very bad message. If you aren't the CEO of a $100 million dollar company, chances are your K*D isn't going to be one either. You won't be able to send him to the right kindergarden, the right elementary, high school, or college or live in the right neighborhood, or make the right contacts. So be realistic with him about his expectations. The Army at least has that right. Be ALL you CAN BE.

Stepping down off the soapbox and returning you to your regularly scheduled program.

El Lamero

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69 isn't just a number, it's a way of life