www.CostaRicaTicas.com

So, bottom line, was it all worth it to get laid once? Like I suggested earlier, I'm sure there was some entertainment value to the whole process and some satisfaction from the near misses, but it still seems like a lot of work and a lot of gringas to sort through to get just a one night stand. I mean it doesn't seem any more efficient or effective than many other methods guys employ to get laid.

Also, I know what you mean that it is one thing to talk a tough line in an ad and quite another to "walk the talk" when you meet. You can either just be yourself, which is the most honest and sustainable in the long term, or you can TRY to seem as ambivalent and demanding as the original ad tried to make you out. However, if the girls see through your act, then you probably end up worse off then if you had just been honest with them from the start. The cocky funny approach is certainly the best one to use, especially if you really ARE cocky and funny, but as you suggested there is a fine line between being cocky and funny and being obnoxious and arrogant and it is not always so easy to walk that fine line.

THis is the longest running thread on CRT ...but a quality subject.

Not sure if I mentioned it before in this thread last year...but I think cocky and funny works...if there is a basic attraction as well. Otherwise, you're destined to be "friends" with another woman. In my experience on the gringa side of life (which is becoming a LONG time ago), I have found that being direct, but in a kind and gentlemanly way, gets you action, or at least a quick answer before wasting too much time and money on a gringa. Since living in Lat Am so long, I now find I am much quicker to get at the subject if I am interested...but I also feel less "panic" to score or for being "rejected".

I also have found that tag teaming a night out with a quality wingman is an easier way to get action in gringaland. Two guys hitting on two women, or at least a woman knowing that youre not some loner loser hitting on them and that you have friends...somehow makes them more open to conversation, flirting, and other possibilities. You have to approach the non pro scene with the attitude that someone is tapping that lady. or...it is long overdue to be tapped. Then its just a matter of timing, a few drinks, and the right hormonal balances of nature ...

Is it worth it Prolijo asks?... Well, if you cant be in LatAm and you havent a better idea...and you like to HUNT without taking it too serious...then, YES.

TMan,
I think you missed the real point of my question which was really more about the effectiveness of putting an ad along the lines discussed at the beginning of this thread in CraigsList. I agree the cocky funny approach is a good one. I'm just not so sure that spending ones time chasing down leads on CL isn't time that might be better spent exercising one's cocky funny routine in real life.

Jazz Musician did it right. Here's a guy trying to do the same thing but is a little bit off (this is apparently for real).

"...This dovetails well with my situation, I am divorced and looking for a wife. Right now I am in graduate school and I am hoping to find a wife who can help out with household expenses. The reason is that I have returned to school to learn to be an architect, and, while I'm doing that, I can use the money that you are earning to pay for our living expenses."

"Please don't have a tattoo on your lower back and wear half shirts in sub zero weather to show it off. I can't stand arrogance, selfishness and petulance. Also, frequent headaches and somatic complaints will not be tolerated in the least. Please have the courtesy to be healthy most of the time. I don't believe in allergies: they are all in your head. If you are bossy, you probably haven't read this far, but, if by some chance you have, you probably already know that I won't stand for you bossing me around. I'll do it when I'm good and ready -- and I'm usually late for everything. I have a sense of humor, lots of animals and all sorts of other quirky things too -- but no watch, so remember to expect me late."

From an article from the SF Chronicle today, regarding dating and having 'checklists', and from a woman's perpective. The article also displays a newly found reality-check from older women:

http://tinyurl.com/kpqpm

I just posted your ADD here in Houston on Craig's List and Backpage. I want to see what kind of responses I get.

Now Philo is missing the point. The question is not whether the cocky funny and approach is a good one OR whether guys are placing ads in CL along these lines. The question IS whether placing an ad this arrogant and self-absorbed actually WORKS AND GETS RESULTS.

Philo repeated the ad but conveniently left out the rest of the article that he got it from and so completely missed the entire point of that article. I'll start from where Philo left off but add some highlighting of my own:
The point is you could cockily insist on all the requirements in the world but that doesn't mean you're going to get them. Also, although the article was written by a woman largely from a woman's perspective, its a reality check that could apply just as easily towards us as it does to older women.

"Hey I'm an old, out-of-shape and embittered divorced man but at least I know what I want and they have to be young enough to be my daughter and willing to put up with my shit" Yeah, that should really get a huge positive response from all the young pretty women out there who will be so impressed with my honesty and arrogance. Not!

I tried the ad in my fair city last year and got spammed to hell. I think that an ad like Jazz's works on craigslist only in LARGE cities with a well developed CL following.

Not enough hot craigslist chicks who like cocky men in my city.

RHM

So if you're cocky & self-absorbed you should hide it from them?

_________________
"With foxes, we must play the fox." ~ Thomas Fuller

Most match.com women list "boldness/assertiveness" as a turn on. However, those same women will say that they don't like cocky.

In reality, I think that they all like some "bad boy" in their men. CR has made me more direct with women - talking about sex. The frigid chicks back down, the warm chicks start to flirt more. I enjoy as long as I can, as my age set of gringa poosy advances each year.

RHM

Actually I said ARROGANT and self absorbed. Cocky is just fine, but you also need to have the "C*ck" to back it up or else you're just delusional. OTOH, I don't see how being self-absorbed can be spun to be anything but an undesirable quality. And arrogant is not exactly the same thing as "bold assertiveness". But even if these could be seen as good qualities you'll also notice I prefaced what I posted with the word "too". There is such a thing as TOO much of even a good thing. Of course, you don't want to hide things if you want a relationship to grow. But that doesn't mean you should intially deliberately advertise what could easily be seen as your worst qualities either. My point was that you could DEMAND all the highest qualities in a woman that you want, but unless you demonstrate you have more to offer in return to attract and keep such high caliber women beyond a lot of tough and probably empty talk, you probably shouldn't expect much of a response. I have yet to hear of anyone here who has tried this approach through CraigsList that has exactly had what I would call glowing success, so maybe there really is some basis to all my doubts.

Prolijo,
I kind of look at Jazzmusicians story and experiences as vindication of a form of this approach. And while ARROGANCE is not normally a positive or quality trait...I dont find "self-absorbed" to be such a bad thing . I think more of us should read books like "The Virtues of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand (author or Atlas Shrugged and Fountainhead) which supports the concept that living our lives to please OURSELVES is not such a bad thing as long as someone else is not hurt or that we treat them immorally. This approach really counterbalances the pressures most of us grew up with in religions and other traditions that we should "live our lives for others" and "deny our own pleasures". This doesnt mean you dont do nice things for other people or treat people with arrogance. But what it does mean is it is OK to pick relationships and lifestyles that serve MY needs. I dont have to feel guilty about my pleasure. I dont have to lower myself to other peoples level, but try and pull them up instead. This I do selfishly as I dont want to be affected by the poverty and ignorance of others. It also means that I can pursue equality in my relationships...expect women and others to meet MY standards...not try living my life to meet the standards of others or simply "fit in".

Ah, its a deep subject, but...I do think that some guys come to CR and "lower" their standards of what they want in a long term relationship. Then some of us are profoundly selfish...and are just looking for our own gratification which I will suggest here most of us have done in Costa Rica. Its all about ME...and it's OK ...

Prolijo, I think you are right. I think Jazz Musician is the exception. In fact, maybe we should call him Jazz Magician, because he does what many others just can't. I am determined to meet him and try to understand it all someday. His game surely works, but few can duplicate it easily. They can. It's just not that easy.
It's hard to take what he does and try to imitate it with similar results, and I think he does it because he OWNS it. It isn't an act, its his whole ballgame. And I think you can't just imitate that, you have to OWN it too, because as silly as those girls are, they smell fear like a dog, and insecurity too. Maybe it must be some profound personal revelation, a light going on in your head, to understand it.
But it sure is fun experimenting! And it beats staring at the walls here in the land of the Ice Queens.

_________________
check yourself before you wreck yourself

TMan, I'm a huge Ayn Rand fan too and have several of her books on my shelves but we're not all Howard Rourkes or John Galts and as much as mindless collectivism afflicts our society so does mindless self absorption. The flip side of our only concerning ourselves with "what I want" is that in large measure so does everyone else. Why should a women reading an ad care "what I want" when all she is thinking about is what she herself wants? Ayn Rand's philosophy looks good on paper but doesn't particularly work well when it comes to sales in the real world, which is what an ad is really all about. If you're an architect with a vision, you may be ultimately able to acheive your dreams but you better be prepared to pay the price over the years out of work and underpaid. I think it is fine and noble to live according to your ideals and to live for yourself and not for others, but if you want to get things done you sometimes have to at least understand what the other guy (or gal) wants in order to harness those motivations to get them to help you both acheive your ends. You don't have to be an Ellsworth Toohey, but you should expect to have to compromse a little if you want to get anything done. One shouldn't lower ones standards but one should also be realistic. If you go on strike as John Galt did, you better be damn sure you have something others want or need or no one is really going to give a flying Phuck whether you shrugged or not.

Couldnt have said it better Prolijo . Not trying to be a purist anything which is why I havent joined any Humanist or other society. But, I do believe stongly in individualism. Most of my long term friendships or closest family members are people who see things similarly. Its these kind of people that dont change...and if you dont get together for a year or a few, when you do, it seems like only yesterday and nothing has changed between you.

I totally get making adjustments to accomodate others...but way down deep I still think our motivation to do so is selfish. I may accommodate someone elses difference or negligence if in the larger picture I need them for something, or just dont want to be in a conflict with stress or duress in a social setting. Plus I still believe in being polite as much as possible, even in the presence of an intolerable person. I just make a quick exit. Again, this isnt "appeasing"...it is only to save myself stress or aggravation...and to not make a situation have any more importance than it should merit.

This reflects on our hobbying here...because most guys are making decisions every day on who they are going to spend precious vacation, money or free time with. If you have this selfish approach, it is much easier making decisions or "dismissing" the company of those you choose not to deal with. Many guys on this board get themselves into situations because they either CANT say no, cant say "go away", feel guilty on behalf of all these "poor" girls with Ch*ldren, YET using them for their self gratification. It can get pretty convoluted sometimes...so that is why I think the approaches we have been discussing on this thread have a lot of merit when it comes to women. Men AND women should clearly state to each other what they are about, what they want, who they are, and not mislead each other or "play games". Lets just all use each other to our hearts content...because at the end of the day...that is what we are doing to some extent or another. No such thing as "unconditional" love. Its all about what we do for each other...whether its physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.

I think we may be mixing apples and oranges. There's long-term interest in one hot babe, and endless phucking of multiple hot babes. The guru of this approach, Doc Love (askmen.com), is emphatic. Being a "challenge" and having an independent side, is a turn-on to all women, period. But being arrogant, or a real bad boy (as in psychopath) only attracts unhealthy women. Women appreciate kindness, and one should be kind. Just don't overdo it, to the point where you're a bore.

This is not only for Craig's List. When you get a phone number from a live one and call her 3 hours later, you're saying something about yourself. Wait a week to call, and you're saying something else. By the way, if you're pacing the entire week waiting to call her, you're missing the point. You're supposed to stay engaged with your life, get your ass off the sofa, and actually have something interesting to talk about when you finally "get around" to making that call.

Back to long-term vs. multiple relations; this really is for a long-term strategy - finding one hot babe with a high interest level. Let's face it, you're never going to have multitudes of hot babes with high interest levels unless you're a rock star or a monger. Given that, this strategy is one way to "weed out" girls with interest levels below 50%, and also give you a shot at attracting a hot girl. It is NOT a substitute for mongering.

I had some fun experiences from Craig's List, including sex with "non's" and "non wanabe's." One girl who answered was very hot and at first her sex acumen seemed too good for a non-pro. Turns out she worked "a little" but didn't answer the ad "for that." Another girl had been divorced for two years and though she looked great, the sex was average. The girl who sent the pics stayed with me for 3 days and that sort of blew up. She was too “show-biz.” I had other responses that were fun dates. One I asked to go into a shoe store where another girl works, for whom I've had the “hots” for some time. I asked her to kiss me in the store (cheap thrills), figuring she would be a "wing-woman" and make the shoe store girl jealous. It worked in the sense the girl in the shoe store eventually went out with me and I dumped the wing-woman, but the shoe store girl liked young guys. She's 26 and is currently dating a 22 y.o. construction worker.

Personal ads are one method, but I've actually had better success hitting on ten girls for their phone numbers and calling the two who were actually sincere, one of whom would actually meet. Clubs seem only effective for gorditas, in my experience. We're all pretty spoiled here at CRT, and truth be told, most of us don't really want one hot babe. We want many, but girls smell that shit a mile away. Still, when in the States, you do what you can. There's always the "fallback" p4p, but in between, it's nice to have several “irons in the fire.” The main thing is not to give up. You'll never find shit watching ESPN, that's for goddam sure. Who knows? Maybe you'll find that one special woman who makes you rethink all the bad attitude over gringas, and you never know where or how she might appear.

Until that day, Central and South America will have to suffice.

ps. I met one outstanding 45 y.o. on Craig's List who wrote saying how impressed she was with how direct I was. She also said I was going to "ruffle a lot of feathers" (which of course, I did), and that she didn't fit my "job description" (ie., her age). We hooked up anyway (I'm flexible) but never did the wild thing because I saw her as a friend. We still email and she's curious about my South American adventures.

_________________
"Don't never trust a woman, till she's dead and deep....One day she'll say she loves you, next day she'll throw you on the street."

"...and if men didn't have this unquenchable desire to have sex with women, then they wouldn't have anything to do with women at all. I certainly wouldn't..."