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My 100 colones on the subjeto:
1. I'm one of the 17% in my first marriage, 15 years. Very short years, can't believe it's been that long.
2. Happily married, it's been a profound boost to my psychological, spiritual and personal growth process. It's been a mostly positive experience. However, as opposed to many of you apparently, I married late, in my mid-30s, so there wasn't the impetuousness of youth and notion of totally being led around by my own dick. One usually makes better choices as one ages. Feel confined sometimes, but basically prefer it over being single.
3. I've had the best sex in my life with my wife, best big O's. Early in our marriage we practiced tantric sex, and without doubt spiritual sex is the best sex.
4. That being said, now our sex life is now dead. My wife is ill, and even if she wasn't, there's the thing about plugging the same hole over time, the loss of the hunt, the loss of the thrill of something new. There's a Chinese expression that says, that if you put a dollar in a jar every time you had sex in the first (or first 3) year(s) of marriage, and then took a dollar out every time you had sex thereafter, the jar would never become empty. A Chinese woman told me this. I really wanted to f*ck her badly.
5. As Montana once said on the Real World, "even a good man is still a man". Thus I monger.
7. Thus I step out of the wife. I even told her once. Boy wash she pissed. For about a day. Now it 's a don't ask don't tell policy.
8. I go to CR and other places (soon Locombia) to improve my Spanish and hook up with Chicas. The former is what I tell my wife and everybody else who asks me why I go.
9. If I keep doing this, I'm soon going to be fluent in Spanish, and I will need another excuse.
10. Maybe I'll begin trying to learn Thai, Tagalog, Mandarin, Cambodian, Vietnamese and...especially Portugese.
11. So basically, marriage has been great, except now for the lack of sex. She is the same age as me, my best friend, and a good woman. I can start singing a classic rock song, and she sing along. But I'm still like the 40 year virgin in the morning. Shhwing. 51, going on 19.
12. That being said, it's common knowledge that all women are insane. Even women will admit to it sometimes. It's not that men are from mars, women from venus, but men are from mars, and women are from Zorkon 9 (or so said Mark Morford in today's SF Chronicle, hilariious story).
13. Thus I monger. Even in a good relationship, one needs a break from one's insane partner.
Philo, out.
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That is worth more than anything than the bad memories or experiences will ever be able to take away.
At least for me smart men find & utilize this option without losing site of what is most important while maintaining a good quality life on all fronts.
