WayneH3412 wrote:
Kccost : Who needs your cynical guess as to what she says behind my back. Pure paranoia !! They're not alll the same. I was in control. I made all the plans and called all the shots. Helping a woman out does not imply softness. Also you needn't explain Latin culture to me because I lived in Honduras for 2 years.
Brother, I am not cynical. In every industry there are SOP, standard operating procedures. You have to understand that these women train and coach each other, ESPECIALLY the ones that work in DR. There is a culture among them and they talk and compare notes constantly. It is what they do. Watch next time you are there. They are ALL talking shop ALL of the time, just like you do at your job.
Do you think it is a coincidence that they ALL ask the exact same questions? Are you on vacation? What hotel are you staying? They want to know if you are a local (locals do not spend $100 p/hour, vacationers throw their money away) and they want to gage how much money you have and how far they have to travel to get there.
The reality is, in their industry, guys that send money are the big prize. It is what the academy award is to an actor, it is what catching a 1000 lb marlin is to a fisherman. You can choose to remain blind to this reality, but it does not change the reality. It is what it is. You are the most highly prized cleint in their industry. But make no mistake, you are a client, not a novio.
I am not saying that they are all the same. I have met some nice chicas at the DR. Part of what works for me, that allows me to get close to them, is that I let them know that I know what the game is and what the SOPs are. Once they know that you know what the SOPs are, they look at you in a different light and new doors open up.
I promise you, if you are acting in a manner in which you are precieved to be blind to the SOP of THEIR industry, you are going to be treated entirely different than the guys that know the game.
I promise you, I am not cynical. Read over my posts and you will see that I am one of the biggest advocates for treating these women with respect. I enjoy their company, I have a Colombiana that I am spending a lot of time with that I do not pay a dime to. I have others that treat me fantastic.
The number 1 thing that I do to get me in these positions to be close to these women, the first thing that I do, is convince them that I am not a "Typical Stupid Gringo". The common perception among DR women is that Gringos are stupid. This is what they spend their time talking about. That and how to get over on them. It is a constant topic of conversation among these women. Make no mistake about it.
I didn't say that you were soft for helping out your chica. What I said was that among Latins, that is considered soft. It is a whole different culture here. Things that you do that you consider generous, are preceived completely different in Latin culture. What I am trying to explain to you is that when you come to a foreign country, to a certain degree you need to leave your preconceived notions behind. It is not cynical to have an understanding of the fact that Latinas respect strength. They are wired completely different than Gringas. As hard as it is to understand, most of these women are more attracted to Latinos that treat them like shit than they are to Gringos that put them on a pedistal. I sure as hell don't understand that, I am just telling you that is how it is. I was not putting you down (or your girl), I was just trying to give you some insight into a whole different perspective that these women have that you are probably not going to figure out on your own by spending 2 nights at the Rey and then heading to the beach once or twice a year.
Good luck to you brother. We are all entitled to our fantasies. I have MINE!!! This is fantasyland after all. As long as you feel good about what you are doing that is all that matters. I am just trying to help you out. Best!