I see so much of my self in this post.
Being a man today is much different than being a man just a generation ago (or two if you are young). I gave up of much of my manhood, trying to save something, that I had given away freely. If I would have actually become a man and reclaimed my balls, there would have been nothing to save. I would have been in control, and she would have respected me for taking that control. The feminist gringas have taught the American woman to take men's balls. They don't want them, or know what to do with them, once I chose to give them up, and they are holding the power that they don't really want.
When I first met the ex, I could have cared less about a relationship. It was more like the old saying, "Women are like buses, there will be another one in 15 minutes." It drove her crazy. She wanted me bad. Fast forward ten years, married, with two Ch*ldren. I had chosen to give up my balls, that she wanted, and American society had taught me was her right. Then she didn't know what to do with after she got them. She lost respect for me, and I for myself. If anyone wonders about what the American male is perceived as, just look at commercials. Men are goofs, and women know it all. Years ago they didn't have a series "Mother Knows Best."
If you want your wife back, IMHO you need to first reclaim your balls with her. Do not take her to CR. Tell her that you are going, and will discuss other options about your relationship upon your return. She will have more respect for you than if you knuckle under and take her, which is what I read in your post is the MO for your relationship (which could actually not be true). IMHO, if you haven't been able to work things out at home, why would being away be any different. IMJ, it would just delay the outcome. From what you have written, I am reading that she is in control of your relationship. She doesn't want that, nor neither should you. I'm not taking about being mean and nasty. Just firm in the resolve that you are a man, and in control of the relationship. Women want strong men, not the wimp that I had become.
I hope that this is not taken as flaming anyone. It is more a story about my failure to reclaim my balls as a man until it was too late. I now have them back, and will never give them up again. It doesnt work!!! It does not give me great feelings to post my failure as a man. I would much rather post about what a stud I am.

If it helps one man then it was worth bearing my soul, about my failure.
I belong to a man's group and see this problem with many of the men in our group. I have also seen men reclaim themselves as men, and the reaction to them by their women. It not only saves marriages, but strengthens them. My best friend actually enjoys going home at night, and wants to spend time with his wife now. What a blessing it has been for he, his family, and his now wonderful relationship.
It is through shared information that I can look at what is working in my life, and what isn't. If you are having troubles in your relationship, IMHO the first place to look is inward. If I hadn't given up my balls, I would have had a much better relationship that would be strong today.
Good luck to all in whatever choices you make in your life. Be the captain of your ship!!
Health & happiness
Santas Bro