SpeakNo wrote:
Chuck Norris could stop all crime, do away with all chica fees and lower drink prices, single handedly in two days.

1) Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom with HDR chicas. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2) If a chica is late, that is just what they call chica time. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down
3) Chicas can send RFM's but Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
4) One day Chuck Norris walked down the Avenida Central with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
5) Chuck Norris never looks both ways before he crosses Avenida 2... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
6) Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against El Ciego.
7) Crime does not pay - unless you're an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
8 ) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
9) They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10) Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
11) When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
12) Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
13) Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
14) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.