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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:55 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Who among us (besides myself) will bravely admit they had to look this one up..... :P :P :? :?

unc·tu·ous
ˈəNG(k)(t)SH(o͞o)əs/
adjective
adjective: unctuous

1.
(of a person) excessively or ingratiatingly flattering; oily.
"he seemed anxious to please but not in an unctuous way"
synonyms: sycophantic, ingratiating, obsequious, fawning, servile, groveling, subservient, cringing, humble, hypocritical, insincere, gushing, effusive; More
glib, smooth, slick, slippery, oily, greasy;
smarmy, slimy
"she sees through his unctuous manners"
2.
(chiefly of minerals) having a greasy or soapy feel.

That there just might be a "fightin' word" where I'm from.... :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 2:36 am 
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All this time I never knew Bashful was an attorney.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 10:10 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!
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I always knew that BD was going to lose it. This thread proves my theory. :D lol


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:17 pm 
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This story differentiates from Roll Tide's given BD's willingness to open up, accept criticisms & comments, and he is not self defensive as RT was.



BD,

I like reading your TR's. They are entertaining. But this thread is warped and your strategy really needs rethinking. Damn, where to begin?

This seems more like a business transaction than a love story. More like you need to check off a time deadline or something on a chore list. You said you are both not in love with each other yet, and I read in another thread, the sex wasn't off the charts :shock: ? WTF, I would totally get it if there was attraction, romance, phenomenal sex, falling(even though hastily) head over heals, etc. There is a sense of "so so" & "just settling" here on both your parts. I wonder why? This is Costa Rica, you've got game and there are an abundance of chicas. At least go through this adventure with someone that you are hot & heavy for and is equally wild about you. And at least with a "Romeo" story, one can understand the rationale for the irrationality. You are already certain she will leave you in 10 years? What does that say about "tu pareja" as well as her character? Here you are "saving her," being a father to her Ch*ld, financial provider, and you are certain she will leave? At least in a "love story," there is the hope and promise of a good woman; he and her caring for one another and having a lasting relationship. And for sure, that Romeo would get flamed and warned here as well.

As for "saving her," it would start by forgetting how/where you met her, what she did for a living then, and don't refer to her as a "ho." It seems to me like you won't forget it nor let her forget it. I can see this being a recurring theme and a go-to jab in future fights. If she was a working girl, and now stopped for you, you owe it to her to drop her past and never rub it in her face and remind her you "saved her." Just view her like a "normal" woman b/c she is a woman, that's it. Also you want to view her as worthy of being a Mom to your daughter at home and you need your daughter to see you giving your new wife that respect as your marriage will be an influence in her life that will carry her into adulthood. And probably be a blueprint in her married life. As for saving her, that is the wrong mindset, b/c as much as we love our country, the American Dream isn't always exportable, or importable, in your case. Most Ticos/Ticas are more content with the little they have there than most North Americans with much more here.

All that being said, I really wonder why you just don't attempt this arrangement with the abundance of available non green card holding Latinas in South Florida? I would think there are many that would agree to such without all the hassle for you and potential collateral damage. Hell, they are already here and probably know the immigration process better than you. And since they are already here(you didn't uproot them) if the relationship doesn't work, then it really is a "no harm no foul" situation.

And un mas cosa, if you really want to do this to have a trophy wife, a partner, a mate, a woman in your house to influence your daughter, get back at the ex(I get it), and this is something you really really are hell bent on doing, than by all means get out of Costa Rica and head down to Colombia and find a beauty down there that is the woman of your dreams and one you are crazy head over heals for. IMO, your chances for success are much much better with a Colombian woman; they would make a better wife, more apt to be loyal throughout, and the Immigration process is probably easier.

Mi Dos Centavos.......many will be following your saga.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 9:40 pm 
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Netgems wrote:
Who among us (besides myself) will bravely admit they had to look this one up..... :P :P :? :?

unc·tu·ous
ˈəNG(k)(t)SH(o͞o)əs/
adjective
adjective: unctuous

1.
(of a person) excessively or ingratiatingly flattering; oily.
"he seemed anxious to please but not in an unctuous way"
synonyms: sycophantic, ingratiating, obsequious, fawning, servile, groveling, subservient, cringing, humble, hypocritical, insincere, gushing, effusive; More
glib, smooth, slick, slippery, oily, greasy;
smarmy, slimy
"she sees through his unctuous manners"
2.
(chiefly of minerals) having a greasy or soapy feel.

That there just might be a "fightin' word" where I'm from.... :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


Not only did I have to look it up I had to play it about 5 times to hear what it sounded like and I am fairly decent with words, but this one still throws me for a loop trying to pronounce it.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 6:09 pm 
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CaptainCohiba wrote:
This story differentiates from Roll Tide's given BD's willingness to open up, accept criticisms & comments, and he is not self defensive as RT was.



BD,

I like reading your TR's. They are entertaining. But this thread is warped and your strategy really needs rethinking. Damn, where to begin?

This seems more like a business transaction than a love story. More like you need to check off a time deadline or something on a chore list. You said you are both not in love with each other yet, and I read in another thread, the sex wasn't off the charts :shock: ? WTF, I would totally get it if there was attraction, romance, phenomenal sex, falling(even though hastily) head over heals, etc. There is a sense of "so so" & "just settling" here on both your parts. I wonder why? This is Costa Rica, you've got game and there are an abundance of chicas. At least go through this adventure with someone that you are hot & heavy for and is equally wild about you. And at least with a "Romeo" story, one can understand the rationale for the irrationality. You are already certain she will leave you in 10 years? What does that say about "tu pareja" as well as her character? Here you are "saving her," being a father to her Ch*ld, financial provider, and you are certain she will leave? At least in a "love story," there is the hope and promise of a good woman; he and her caring for one another and having a lasting relationship. And for sure, that Romeo would get flamed and warned here as well.

As for "saving her," it would start by forgetting how/where you met her, what she did for a living then, and don't refer to her as a "ho." It seems to me like you won't forget it nor let her forget it. I can see this being a recurring theme and a go-to jab in future fights. If she was a working girl, and now stopped for you, you owe it to her to drop her past and never rub it in her face and remind her you "saved her." Just view her like a "normal" woman b/c she is a woman, that's it. Also you want to view her as worthy of being a Mom to your daughter at home and you need your daughter to see you giving your new wife that respect as your marriage will be an influence in her life that will carry her into adulthood. And probably be a blueprint in her married life. As for saving her, that is the wrong mindset, b/c as much as we love our country, the American Dream isn't always exportable, or importable, in your case. Most Ticos/Ticas are more content with the little they have there than most North Americans with much more here.

All that being said, I really wonder why you just don't attempt this arrangement with the abundance of available non green card holding Latinas in South Florida? I would think there are many that would agree to such without all the hassle for you and potential collateral damage. Hell, they are already here and probably know the immigration process better than you. And since they are already here(you didn't uproot them) if the relationship doesn't work, then it really is a "no harm no foul" situation.

And un mas cosa, if you really want to do this to have a trophy wife, a partner, a mate, a woman in your house to influence your daughter, get back at the ex(I get it), and this is something you really really are hell bent on doing, than by all means get out of Costa Rica and head down to Colombia and find a beauty down there that is the woman of your dreams and one you are crazy head over heals for. IMO, your chances for success are much much better with a Colombian woman; they would make a better wife, more apt to be loyal throughout, and the Immigration process is probably easier.

Mi Dos Centavos.......many will be following your saga.


Well thought out, very thorough analysis, I'm going to keep your name and send you a pm if ever I get a crazy idea about giving up my love of the variety of chicas in Costa Rica for one....hopefully I'll listen to you !!!

THAT'S what I have ALWAYS loved about Costa Rica, as an older gent in my 50's and now 60's, I've been coming to this fountain of youth since 2003 and lived here 2007-2009 during the economic downturn. I fell "in love" about once a month with a different one every month then somehow had my head turned by a new one the next month....Now that's what I call PUTA VIDA !!!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 10:04 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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CaptainCohiba wrote:
...<very good response>...

Appreciate your posting. There are many reasons why a guy would bring a woman back from CR (or in fact any mail-order-bride country). And in fact, every time a guy does it, there are more than one reason to begin with. That is the key to understanding why I have chosen to invite her to my home.

I really like her, but recognize that the age thing will become far worse as I get older. This is why I am hedging against her deciding to move on. I need to be sure that she is capable to move on, rather than feel trapped in the relationship. She wants a career, and I will assist her to achieve her goals. If she splits from me, oh well, that's life. If she sticks it out and we make a go of it, then that's life too.

The title of this thread was coined by PR in another thread as a descriptive of what I was doing. It is not to be read as me thinking I am a captain of anything, and swooping down to perform a rescue of an unfortunate creature that will be beholden to me for life. I called the thread that because if I hadn't, then the first ten posts would have degraded the thread to that level. So I just beat em to the punch. Once in the gutter, there is no where to go but up. And much excellent points have been entered into this thread by guys (such as yourself) that know what they're talking about.

This adventure is best summed up as a trade of needs and resources. We each have what the other needs (to an extent). We can both live our lives on our own and be fine, but together we can help each other achieve the tougher goals. We might even enjoy doing it together. But I am totally over the whole 'true love' concept. It may develop or not. No different than dating in general. The difference is that without her here (or me there) dating isn't possible.

Again, as to latinos in this country. The competition is far more fierce for me, and I don't get to travel to CR to do it. Since CR may be in the future, and as I really want to find someone now, it makes sense to combine those two into one solution. In Project Management this is known as the Two Mirror Theorem.

Keep in mind that my strategy is far deeper in thought, action, and purpose than I have written about here. Frankly, I could write a book on the facets of thought and planning (B,C,D,etc). But really, no one is interested in all of my crap. They simply want to know if it fails or succeeds. They want the steps chronicled, and mistakes highlighted. And I am happy to do so.

This isn't about 'trophy' anything, and I am actually embarrassed to discuss it with family and friends. Everyone has forgone conclusions, and you get tired of explaining yourself over and over. My mother. My brother. My cousins and aunts. Friends, etc. I know on this board many will understand, even if they disagree with me.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:31 am 
Not a Newbie I just don't post much!
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what I call PUTA VIDA !!!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
jajaja
good one Netgems!
Red


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:41 am 
Not a Newbie I just don't post much!
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as for the saga of Bashful Dwarf.....

I don't think this whole thing sound as crazy as some people think.
Hell, I think arranged marriages have a better track record that our regular marriages here in the states.
The usual stages leading to marriage is the falling in love (really it is falling in lust) stage,
then a couple of years of blind love. then marriage.
Then you wake up from it all and if you are lucky you still have a person you like, love, and respect and still want to have sex with.
By then you usually are locked in with K*ds, mortgage, and such.

If you are starting out without the crazy in love part you might even have clearer vision.
And the sex thing can grow if if you both are on the same page. (plus it sounds like she is hot)
Anyway, that is one point of view. (disclaimer: subject to change with experience)
Buena Suerta
Red


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:57 am 
Masters Degree in Mongering!
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Bashful,

I feel that you have thought this out thoroughly and that you fully understand the pros and cons of your adventure. I believe that you documenting it will provide many insights to the board and others who may want to follow your lead but are afraid to take the chance. Either way it goes, it is superb information for other mongerers and those seeking long term companionship.

Good on you for having the thick skin necessary to post and tell us all about the good and the bad. Thanks.

Have a Great Day,

Dave


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:36 am 
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A thread fraught with Grade B rationalizations and Grade A narcissism.

Meanwhile, back to the $50.00 love affair..... :P

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"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."
- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 16


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:05 am 
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Steven1 wrote:
A thread fraught with Grade B rationalizations and Grade A narcissism.

Meanwhile, back to the $50.00 love affair..... :P

points taken, bud.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:06 am 
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VISA DENIED!

Many saw it as obvious. But it is important to post the truth.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:50 am 
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BashfulDwarf wrote:
VISA DENIED!

Many saw it as obvious. But it is important to post the truth.


Sorry to hear the bad news....hopefully you will proceed with plan B. Good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:54 am 
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I heard about one being denied (3 times) because the chica wasn't paying into the CAJA.


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