www.CostaRicaTicas.com

This is the first time in four trips to Costa Rica that my reservation
did not get screwed up in one way or another. The CRT discount was
honored with no problem (someone else recently noted a problem).
And I got just the room I wanted on the
7th floor, facing Avenida Central (some of you might not like the
street noise, but I do). The beds saw a great deal of work
and were comfortable. OK, I'd like more mirrors, but I was able to move one
bed so that the wall mirror worked pretty well, and the maids went
along with my gringo madness. I like the big shower -- nicer than
mine at home. Free safe in the room. OK, I could have used a
bigger dresser, but I managed. The wireless network worked well,
and I had some pleasant times on the Web next to the open window.

A real treat is to reserve the hot tub and sauna on the 8th floor for an
hour -- it's free. There's a solid door with a secure lock, so you can
frolic with a lady in the open air, naked as you please. Nice plants and
nice layout overall, with good stonework.
You can have a very nice view to the southern mountains while doing
'the lady from behind. Take a pillow up there for her: be a
gentleman!

I like the lobby, with its travel service that can get you to the volanoes,
etc. A new feature is that your visiting chica signs in at a special little desk
quite near the door, so you don't have to sign her at the main desk while the
French tourists look at you with disdain. LIKE THE FRENCH DON'T
ENJOY HOOKERS WHEN THEIR WIVES ARE NOT AROUND!

You might disagree with me, but I like the dress code for the working
girls. Indeed, I don't like slutty attire. A woman, prostitute or not, is
most attractive when dressed stylishly, IMHO. An even better
system would be for the guy to precede the chica to the room, so
that when she signs in (alone) the bellhop can call the guy in the room
to confirm that it is OK for her to go up. The guy could even let the
bellhop at the desk know to expect a chica asking for the room.

My only major complaint is that they don't let you have 2 chicas to
a room. The way to overcome that is to ask a fellow monger in the
News Cafe to sign your 2nd lady in. Buy him a drink. Most guys,
myself included, would be glad to oblige.

The Presidente is on the borderline between respectability and
Del Rey-style unrespectability. Lots of non-mongering gringos hit the
News Cafe, including some stunning gringas who seem to get a kick
out of seeing Latin-style prostitution. Some locals lunch there too.
I don't remember seeing many K*ds around (probably a good thing), but
tour groups seem to use the hotel. I like the mix, but there is an edge
of conflict about it. Two chicas were sitting with three gringos at a
News Cafe table overlooking the street, and, even though the chicas were
dressed conservatively, many people looked on them in disapproving
ways. A couple guys stopped to stare, and women snickered. So, even
though prostitution is rampant in CR and always has been with travies
on many streetcorners at dusk on and with massage parlors on
blocks next to Christian charities and doctors' offices, the code is that
prostitutes should stay out of sight in respectable places. Walking
on othe main street of the town from the Blue Marlin
to the Hotel while holding hands with a wild-hair chica wearing some outlandish
outfit, with straps and boots and little windows of exposure, is a
code violation. My personal opinion is that we would be better off to
keep our professions of desire off the public street. I just would
hate to see a crackdown, as they have had in the Dominican Republic,
according to what I have read.

Anyway, the tension between the two worlds is an interesting part of
staying at the Presidente. It's a great location, and taxistas can find it.
Just don't use the taxi sharks who hang out immediately outside the
hotel. Walk a half a block and find a taxista who is an honest guy
who uses the meter.

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Same river, new water

Had a late breakfast at El Prez yesterday morning with my favorita who was dressed like a bank cashier.

We were alone in the section along Calle 7 when two gringas carrying bags of obviously cheap souvenirs sat down nearby. Definitely not eco-tourists and most likely not hotel guests.

They sat down and the fattest of the two was wearing a pair of stretch pants that looked like they had been purchased from "Elephants Are Us,"
and enough makeup that it must have been applied with a trowel.

Almost immediately the fat one snickered and pointed us out to her friend. Both turned and laughed and continued to stare.

Finally enough was enough and I rose to approach their table and asked, "Are you somehow amused at my granddaughter" (my favorita could certainly look the part). The fattest of the two pointedly suggested that she wasn't my granddaughter and they found it disgusting to see a senior citizens with a young girl.

I lost it. I leaned over a little closer and told her that whoever I was with was none of her phucking business. She said my favorita was probably a prostitute. I told her even if that were the case, it was none of her damn business, and that the two of them were a disgrace and prefect examples of the cliche "Ugly American" tourists. I suggested they visit the elephant section of the Simon Bolivan Zoo where they would could be among their own kind. I added that they could be absolutely certain no one would ever mistake them for prositutes, not even the $2.00 ones.

Returned to my table and they never looked in our direction again. I could see the manager trying to surpress a laugh and noticed as they left they splurged and left a 50 colone tip

I pity the pour SOB who might have to sit between them on a return flight to the US, and even more the pitiful gringos they are married to.

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69 isn't just a number, it's a way of life

Good for you, El Lamero! I've been in similar situations.

Zebra

Gringa's... you gotta love them... Well.. Actually you don't

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Now, I am back in the game!

YO El Lamero:

You did good my friend. Thank goodness old Circus was not there to make the situation worse. You won't believe it but I actually had the same situation occur (several times) but in one instance I pissed on their table. No, not in the Pres but in the LaGran. YEP, I was a younger dude then but the stupidity and arrogance of the "ugly gringos" was too much to take. TRUE STORY. Ever have a broken beer bottle episode? End of story.

Of course now they would fall over laughing at my 2" of fame dribbling on their table....but I can still fart big time and in their face would be quite satisfying. Yeah, you did good. Thanks for protecting the dignity of your lady.....Geezzzz ....the good oe days.

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Damn if I'm going to repeat this shit again. I need a drink.
I've been drinking vodka every day for 45 years and I have certainly never found it to be habit forming.

Excellent job putting them in thier place My freind. Couldn't have done it better.rbc100

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In Search of Fine Kittens,
Please... Bring back the Muff