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From The Take Monthly
June 2004

Top 10 Vomit Comets

Whether you are tourist, expatriate or local Tico you have had to ride on at least one of the fleet of "vomit comets".

Here is our Top Ten list of the worst bus rides in Costa Rica.

All of them are listed from San Jose to outbound destinations. We considered everything from length of time to number of border crossings to how far your money goes. Do you think we got it right?

10. San Jose to Limon-2:30 hrs.
A baby in comparison but we decided in the peak of dry season "Limon Lemon" squeaked in at number ten. I hope you like Bananas.

9. San Jose to Fortuna-4:30 hrs.
Actually not so bad. "The Fortuna Frustrater" offers up a pretty drive, but mud slides can be an unsuspected joy in the midst of green season. Don't plan on this one getting you there on time.

8. San Jose to Nosara-6:00 hrs.
All told, not too bad since the bridge was rebuilt. "The Nosaran Nightmare" is a questionable entry but due to the rich history and awkward pick up point in San Jose we had to keep it.

7. San Jose to Jaco (Non express)-2:30 hrs.
"Little Killer" has a milder experience than its older sibling "The Quepos Killer" but can be just about as wretched if the climate is right. For optimum misery dry season is the best if you wish to bring on an ideal depressive state.

6. San Jose to Quepos (Non express)-5.10hrs.
"The Quepos Killer" has more turns and twists than a Six Flags amusement park. Slow, fast, hot and cold it has it all. Once again, for optimum misery get a ticket in the peak of dry season during a Costa Rican Holiday that lands on a Friday.

5. San Jose to Nicaragua-11:00 hrs.
"The Tico-Nico" includes that great Nicaraguan border crossing that we all know and love. A true sadist's delight.

4. San Jose to David, Panama-9:00 hrs.
Much like it's older cousin "The Canal Express", "David's Goliath" is a great alternative for those who want all the misery the Panama City connection with half the calories.

3. San Jose to Panama City-20:00 hrs.
"The Canal express" offers a little bit of everything--Hills, valleys, rivers and best of all the famed Panamanian border crossing...don't forget those passports.

2. San Jose to Tegucigalpa Honduras-48:00 hrs.
Overnight stay in Managua, "The Honduran Horror" brings the joy of two border crossings and all the natural obstacles we know and love in Central America. One of the premier Vomit Comets.

AND THE NUMBER ONE VOMIT COMET...

1. San Jose to Guatemala City-60:00 hrs.
Overnight stay in Managua and El Salvador, 60 hours, need we say more. "The Guatemalan Marathon" can't be beat. Three painful border crossing for a very reasonable price.

_________________
William Walker
8 May 1824 - 12 Sep 1860
Fusilado

I adamantly disagree with that. I took the bus one time to Siquirres, which is not far from Limon. The bus leaves from the Caribe terminal
in Tournon, near the large prison if I recall correctly. It was basically a direct trip, with a short stop in Guapiles. The bus was akin to a huge tour bus, with large high-back reclining seats, air-conditioning, etc. The route
goes through Braulio Carrillo National Park, which is very scenic. I think the tickets cost $2.00 each way. It was a very comfortable and
economical trip.

_________________
"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile, and the rest of us are phucked until we can put our acts together; not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely"...Hunter S. Thompson (RIP)