I have after many visits, a COMPLAINT about Sportsmen's Lodge...
Not that the waitresses and bartenders are nothing less than gracious and gorgeous...
Not that the atmosphere is ever less than fun, relaxed and enjoyable where you can comfortably meet like minded expats and or travelers and hear stories entertaining and or obtain good advice and recommendations...
Not that the service has ever been less than quick, efficient and friendly.
Today I ordered a cheeseburger for a lunch stopover.
I've eaten there many times and always liked everything I've eaten there, even the Italian food, and I'm a very DEMANDING Italian on Italian restaurants, more than once, I've issued a litany of insults in Italian restaurants that more Anglo and other non Italian ethnic customers were unaware of their less than excellence.
By the way, the fish sandwich, Sea Bass is one of the best I've had anywhere!
And it's not that the burger was undercooked or overcooked, and in fact, it was rather tasty.
Jeez, the damn thing was monstrous, huge, giganicicus!!
I'm guessing about 1/2 inch thick, and 5 x 6 inches wide.
I no longer carry my portable scale like we did in the 70's and 80's for other non food type weight requirement inspections, so I can't say with full accuracy it's weight, but I'll bet it was OVER 1/2 lb.
I'm a big boy, about 220 lbs, and no stranger to inhaling huge quantities of food on occasion.
But that damn thing was so large, not only did it take me at least 1/2 hour to woof down, it tired me out, bloated me up like those boa snakes that capture and eat 300 lb deer and have that massive expanded stomach.
I had numerous errands to run and needed to go downtown to visit several places, no way could I do it. I live 10 minutes from there, paid my bill and waddled home, at least tried to do some work on the internet to no avail, I was dizzy and exhausted, a nap was the only choice at the moment I could handle.
By the time I woke up, it was too late, and my errands were postponed another day.
So I'm warning everyone, if you are meeting a chica after lunch, there's no way you'll be able to perform or quite honestly even care, and if you want to engage in any other activities here, forget that as well.
I recommend the fish sandwich instead. Not that it's small, it's huge too, but because it's fish and not beef, it's not going to knock you out.
By all means, if you're suffering from insomnia, or it's late and you need a good night's sleep for lots of activities the next day, the burger is your best bet...
So stay away from it during the day, if you absolutely must have a burger, there's a Carl's Junior on Avenida 2 and Calle 2, they have what they call a giant burger, but it's at best 3/4 the size and you can get one and still carry on, walk, function and not pass out.
So everyone has been warned, I'm sticking with the fish sandwich, but their pork chops and Italian food and pretty much everything else is always great, stay with those selections.
You're going to pretty much waste your day and even cocaine from one of the girls who continually seem to be headed for the restroom 8 x in 30 minutes won't help you, and if you think you're going to score later, 3 viagras aren't even going to do you any good. You might get a wood, and the chica will enjoy it, but you'll be passed out and won't remember it, and you won't remember how your wallet got depleted of all your cash when you finally wake up the next day....
Stick with the fish, stick with the fish, stick with the fish. Fish is brain food and I know I need it, and judging from the conversations I have with some of my fellow expats, they need it too....
