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Lessons learned in flight
by James Wysong.

In the 17 years I have been flying, I think I have seen or heard just about everything, and yet, every flight can provide a valuable lesson. In school I studied how to read and write, in sports I learned to play fair, and in the military I figured out how to take orders, but it wasn’t until my flying career took off that I was educated about real life.

Here are some of my real-life lessons. They are inspired by Robert Fulguhm’s wildly popular book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” except that in my case, I learned everything on an airplane.

Wear your seatbelt.

Carry only what you can lift.

Drink a lot of water, even if you are not especially thirsty.

You always have an entrée choice: to eat or not to eat.

Smile at people who annoy you. It makes them nervous.

Talk to your seatmates. You just might learn something. And if it turns out you don’t like them, don’t worry: You’ll probably never see them again.

Always carry a good book with you.

Never invest in airline stock, especially if you work for the airline in question.

Duct tape fixes everything (even airplane wings).

Don’t get too caught up in the current hassle, because the next one is just around the corner.

A watched conveyor belt doesn’t bring your luggage quicker.

Earplugs can make all the difference.

Arrive early. It will save your disposition, your composure and your dignity. But if you don’t arrive early, stop worrying. There is always another flight.

Say yes to know-it-alls. Otherwise, they will just keep on talking.

Get up and stretch.

Always have a backup plan.

Slow down! You’re missing the point of life.

Be sympathetic to your fellow traveler (or employee). Lend him a hand when he needs it.

Take the window seat. Middle seats just don’t make sense.

When people ask what you do for a living, tell them you are a data processor. No more questions will follow.

Always know where the nearest emergency exit is located.

Put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to understand what they are going through.

Don’t envy the people in first class. They don’t have half as much fun as the folks in economy.

Tune out longwinded stories, but have a general remark ready in case you are asked for an opinion.

If you don’t think about the money you are spending on your trip, you will enjoy it more.

Don’t pack too much, or you won’t have room for souvenirs.

Life is a wonderful freak show, and we all have front-row tickets.

Keep an open mind.

Humor the people in charge. Pilots may be full of hot air, but they get you where you’re going safe and sound.

Make your own pension plan. You never know when your company will run off with yours.

There is humor in just about everything, so laugh at life’s little annoyances. It’s so much better than crying.

Red wine is good for you, and white wine isn’t so bad either.

Life is the journey, not the destination.

Very well put.