Man, this is a slippery slope when we as men get into the resentment and “hating†of women. I have seen this happen too many times with guys that are generally good dudes and just want a woman who is honest and committed to them and is willing to do the same for her. I don’t have all the answers and by no means am I an expert in dealing with women, but applying a few simple rules I NEVER have any real problems – actual or emotional ones when it comes to these matters and 99% of my interactions and relationships are great. So, here they are:
1. NEVER be more emotionally invested in the relationship than she is. This can be a tricky one. Emotional Investment is good and in some capacity we seek to give and receive it - unless one is a total narcissist or psychopath. Equal Investment is ideal, but seldom achieved, even in the best relationships, and when it is the balance eventually skews one way or the other. This “never being more emotionally invested†is not an action or metric, but rather just a by-product of being an awesome man and having your shit together and having EVERY aspect outside of your relations with women on lock. When we have other things in life that we love and are passionate about besides women (career, hobbies, friends, family, etc.) it makes it almost impossible for you to be more invested than she is. She can stay or she can go and no matter how much you dig her you KNOW that things will be just fine without her (read as: 100% non-needy).
2. NEVER put more into a relationship than you are getting out of it. Similar to the first one but this requires you have solid boundaries and stick to them no matter what. Today’s man has been taught and raised to repress our emotions and not express when we are dissatisfied with something that a woman says or does for fear of losing her or making her mad, or if just meeting a woman trying to hard to impress her. Basically this results in passive-aggressive behavior which is pretty weak as man. So, if you are always buying a girl stuff and doing shit for her but she is not reciprocating with whatever it is you feel you want out of the relationship – CUT HER LOOSE, as this is not something that will get better with time. Now, the key here is if a guy is “doing stuff†for a girl, do it because you want to and not because you EXPECT anything in return (needy behavior). Far too often we see guys that put up with WAY more bullshit than they are comfortable with from a woman just because they perceive her to be “hot†or especially “Out of his league†or some shit like that. Looks wise it is often true and if we perceive it that way our actions will cause us to act like pussies with a woman and let her walk on us – NO THANKS! The key to living this way is not to be a raging and confrontational asshole either. Be calm and cool about shit when a woman acts out or to your disliking but be clear about what it is that you want and expect (this may sound “controlling†but it’s not). When you don’t express what it is you want or desire that means that what that other person thinks and feels is more important than what you think and feel – Phuck that. Sounds selfish, but that is just what people have been taught and it’s total BS.
3. NEVER seek to meet a woman’s standards and ALWAYS seek women that meet YOUR standards (beyond looks too). This ties in to the above as well but too many men act like there is a sudden shortage of attractive women to be with. There’s not!! 3.2 billion women (give or take a few million). There’s plenty, so why put up with bullshit from one (no matter how physically attractive she is). Point is, if you see the warning signs early do not hesitate to “Find another girlâ€. Sure, you will lose a lot of women this way but the ones that you keep/stay with you when you apply YOUR standards will love you forever. Oh, and so will many of the “troublemakers†that you cut loose.
Good luck brother and keep it light!
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