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OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=41083		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Skyxchef [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
So I've had an ongoing friendship with a Nica who lives in San Jose. She is a non pro who I met at a casino she used to deal cards at. We became good friends and I have met up with her on a few trips over the past 21/2 years. She knows nothing of my playing (she asked and I lied :oops: ) and I'm pretty sure she believed it ...Maybe??. At one point I was thinking that this could be something real that I would not mind seeing it to the next level. Recently when talking on the phone and e-mailing she has began getting heavily into the "I love you" and "how special you are to my life and heart" ect. She is 28 ( I am 53) and she has a year and a half Y.O. daughter. Baby daddy who was not involved at all died a couple months ago in a car accident. I am coming to CR next week and told her so 2 months ago when I booked the trip.. Immediately she became more "I love you and can't wait to see you". She then explained her work schedule for the week I come and started rattling off the days that we will spend together and how Super Bien" this trip will be for us. She has been counting down the days in the almost daily e-mail she has been sending along with pictures of herself. Truth be told it's Scarin' the S**t outta me. I just sent her an e-mail explaining that unfortunately due to family health problems (true), I will not be coming to CR (false). I am feeling just a bit guilty and would appreciate any input or similar situation experiences.
Author:  BlueDevil [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Quote:
I just sent her an e-mail explaining that unfortunately due to family health problems (true), I will not be coming to CR (false). I am feeling just a bit guilty and would appreciate any input or similar situation experiences.


I know this may seem plain and ordinary, but:

What do you want out of this relationship? Once you've answered that question, then tell her what's on your mind. There's no harm in being truthful with yourself (and her).

If being truthful is not an option, then continue the fairytale and live with the results.
Author:  Cujo's [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
I say trust your gut...if its all weird like that too soon, or what you deem outside of normal, trust ur gut man.



Cujo
Author:  Miamiheller [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Skyxchef wrote:
Truth be told it's Scarin' the S**t outta me. I just sent her an e-mail explaining that unfortunately due to family health problems (true), I will not be coming to CR (false). I am feeling just a bit guilty and would appreciate any input or similar situation experiences.


What exactly are you afraid of?

By the way, if she is in any way connected to the business, she will know you are in CR about 1 hour after you show your face at any known mongering spot. The chica network down there is more efficient than the CIA and NSA - combined.

mh
Author:  DGD [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
She sounds kind of needy right now, maybe due to daddy getting killed. But you know what is best for you, either being a dick as you say, or maybe not, help her a little this trip and let her down easy, if that is do-able and won't make it worse. You've known her a long time based on Int'l romance time frames.
Author:  Skyxchef [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Cujo'S wrote:
I say trust your gut...if its all weird like that too soon, or what you deem outside of normal, trust ur gut man.



Cujo

Cujo... you always seem to bring rationality to an at times irrational mundo. I appreciate your thoughts!!
Author:  Patriot [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
What Miamiheller wrote is true:
Quote:
The chica network down there is more efficient than the CIA and NSA - combined.

I agree with this from my own experiences. Was planning to get to CR 2 days before meeting up with my ex-novia but she met me at my hotel the day after I arrived and asked me how the DR was. AND all I did was meet up with some of the guys from the board and had a few drinks at the DR. Honestly I didn't do anything but she knew I was there already.
Don't lie to her but let her know you want to do some mongering: "experience different things". If she understands and continues the way she has been and you feel strongly for her you may have something that is worthwhile.
The odds are against it working unless you move to CR, but if it's right go for it. Even if you do move to CR the odds of it working are slim due to the age and cultural differences, but if it feels right . . .

As my final $0.02 worth; long distance relationships are difficult, at the minimum.
Author:  Boynton [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
.
Author:  House56 [ Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Her actions don't strike me as that unusual, to be honest. It seems like latinas aren't shy about pushing a relationship in the romantic direction, and pushing it hard. So I think you have to decide how you want it, and push back; if it's no good with her she'll let you know, and if it is she'll probably accept that, at least to a great extent. I think this is where that whole thing about the man having to lay down the law with these women comes in. That you lied to her about coming down just gives you an opening on starting that conversation, but you need to do it in a way that she doesn't find insulting, whatever you do you should leave her with her pride and all that.

Might be good to think of it as just another female adventure south of the border, a learning experience, and direct it the way you want it to go, but always consider her side of it. One of the joys of CR is that you can be as honest with the women as you want, unlike at home, and there are no terrible consequences, and you can also be pretty selfish about what you want. That's not to say you have a license to be inconsiderate and cruel, but understand that they are likewise pursuing what they want from you, and usually in a direct and forceful way. So you need to be aggressive about your desires, and take joy in the interactions, amp up the emotions; my guess is that you'll find that she conceded to your desires pretty quickly, she'll probably want to see some of you rather than not at all, even if she has to share you with da putas. And if it goes bad, what have you lost? You're down in SJO and suddenly without a girl? We all feel for you, oh what will you do?? :wink:
Author:  Orange [ Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Be honest. You don't need to lie. What's the worst that can happen; she'll dump you? If you are afraid of that, stop phucking with whores and go be with her. What you want is to have her and Phuck around behind her back. That's not fair to her if she's for real.

If you want to test her, tell her that she's moving too fast for you and you want to slow it down and not have to spend all the time together. See how she responds.

BTW-if she worked in a casino (in the gulch?), she knows what you do when she's not around. Even if she doesn't work in the gulch, she can probably figure out why a single gringo is coming to CR that often.
Author:  Thirdworld [ Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Yeah, she almost has to be suspicious already, if that matters. Not too many guys come to SJ on a regular basis for anything other than p4p. As for the network, I humbly disagree with the other posters. If she knows too much about you or you have been plugged into the chica network, chances are you talk a little too much and give out too much information. OR, have tried to hard to impress them, and it works! Only you can really answer your own question as to whether you want to be with her or play.
Author:  Skyxchef [ Tue Jun 12, 2012 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
You all have made some excellent points for me to reflect on. Being honest with myself re: what I want out of this relationship as BlueDevil suggested helped me realize that I do not want more than friendship. She is "real" and as Orange stated leading her on and phucking around behind her her back would not be fair to her and she deserves better. I will let her know clearly and respectfully that while I am not interested in a romantic relationship I would hope to continue our friendship... if she is comfortable with that. Thanks guys. :!: :!: :)
Author:  Capitan1962 [ Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
There are tons of beautiful latin women looking for a meal ticket. If you are ready for that then it might be you but like they say you can the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl. On the same hand you can take the monger out of the whorehouse but you can't take the whorehouse out of the monger. Are you ready to settle down and become the adopted father of her baby? If not then move on, if you are it might be great. It is senseless to ask for guidance here. pardon my forwardness but its' the truth.
Author:  Ricotubbs [ Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:18 am ]
Post subject:  Dude ,just keep it real your not 17 yrs old...
Hey Man just let it go,dont be afraid to tell her you'd rather be single.If not dont hold her mind hostage,not all woman in Costa Rica are P4P. Some do want relationships, some want companionships, which usually comes with benefits.Some woman want friendships nothing more.The other woman are working the field,and have a caution sign ,or Actung sign written all over their :twisted: body.Either way take her out to eat(feed her- food is the magic word in CR).At least ,if you break up ,she got a well deserved last meal .If you like her so be it.Where do you stand.
Seems like your running away from your fears.Confront her ,dont waste her time.She could be a good woman.
Author:  Rascal [ Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: OK I'm a D**k........ Is that so bad??
Cujo'S wrote:
I say trust your gut...if its all weird like that too soon, or what you deem outside of normal, trust ur gut man.



Cujo



+1. Always trust your gut...and if I was forced to give an opinion....young chicas do not "love" middle aged gringos....there is probably an exception or two out there...but....as a rule...they are "understandable" in it for the MONEY.
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